How Menopause Can Be the Best Chapter of Your Life with Tamsen Fadal

*This transcript was auto-generated*

Kim:

Is menopause selfish? Is that our time to really look within and be about giving back to ourselves a little bit?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I mean, if you don't. If you don't do it, then why are you doing it? When you said a second, it said we're helpers as women. I heard, help her.

 

Kim:

Help her. Oh, my God.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Help her.

 

Kim:

I just peed a little bit on myself. Help her. And that's another thing in menopause.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Another sign. That's another sign, another symptom. Welcome to the Kim Gravel show.

 

Kim:

All right, buckle up, buttercups. Look, it is going to be an amazing show. I'm Kim Gravel. This is the Kim Gravel show. And today we're talking about menopause. Uh huh. The dirty word that I am fully in. I'm so menopausal.

 

Kim:

I'm not pausing anymore. I'm telling you. My guest today is an Emmy award winning journalist and authority. She's a documentary filmmaker and a total 100% menopause advocate. She's known as social media's midlife mentor. I absolutely love that. And she's one of my sisters in the QVC Q50ambassador. So her new book has just dropped.

 

Kim:

It is called how to menopause. Take charge of your health and reclaim your life and feel even better than before. Y'all please welcome Tamsen Fadal. Uh huh, Right? I love you, Tamsen. Isn't that fantastic? Don't you think everybody needs their name sung? Not in lights. We need it sung. I know, I love that.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I want to record that and keep that close to my mom.

 

Kim:

We're going to send it to you.

 

Zac:

Oh, it's yours, it's yours. We'll send it to you.

 

Kim:

And Tamsen, I got to say this. Bless Zac's heart. You know, y'all know Zac. I love Zac. He's actually could be my son, but he is a brother from another mother. He is going to learn more about hot flashes, dry places down there, all the things. Because he lives with three women.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, oh, you need this.

 

Zac:

Well, four if you include the cat. Look, I was joking. This was my favorite topic ever, which, you know, like every guy I think is uncomfortable by this conversation. And I think that's a big part of the problem. And so I would like to go on record as your producer, Kim, as on this show and be like, look, I'm gonna get over it. I'm gonna bring it on, make Zac uncomfortable. Because this is a conversation that's important.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

It is.

 

Kim:

And I will say this, Tamsen and we're gonna dive into it. But I'm. I have not had my cycle. Okay. This. We're starting off strong for about two and a half years. Sorry, Zac. And I don't care, because.

 

Kim:

Don't apologize, but I want to tell you, I went through 10 years of peripre. Whatever. Menopause or. Yeah, I have a lot of questions to ask. I was meaner than a, you know, cat with its tail tied. I mean, I was evil. So I didn't have all the hot flashes that much. I was just mean as all get out.

 

Kim:

Is that normal? Let's talk about it.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

So normal. It's so normal. It's.

 

Kim:

It's.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That whole thing we talked about.

 

Kim:

There's.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

There's. And there's different parts of it. There's rage, there's irritability, there's anxiety. There's all. All these different. You. Puberty, you know, but we're. We're doing it in reverse.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And so that's what it is. It's a hormonal roller coaster. And so it makes sense. It totally makes sense. What I love is when you kind of get on this other side of it, it's all sort of leveled out now. You have, like, whatever I say what I want, I'm unfiltered in life. But before that, that perimenopause can be some uncomfortable years and some moodiness and some just difficult days where you don't know who you are.

 

Kim:

Okay, tell us why. Let's take it. Cause I want to pop up your book. Cause you're talking how to Menopause. Because we all go. That's the one thing we all have in common as women. Like, all of us are not mothers. All of us are not married.

 

Kim:

All of us. But all of us go through menopause.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yes. It's a common denominator for us, if we're lucky enough. Right.

 

Kim:

Amen.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

If we're lucky enough. And I think about that a lot, you know? But, yeah, we all go through it. And the fact that we hadn't talked about it or heard about it is always shocking to me. And I spent a long time doing the news. That was my job before all this happened. And I had never really talked about menopause on television and certainly never heard the word perimenopause until I was in it. I lost my mom at an early age, and she. I have since learned, even though she's not here, I realized that all these symptoms that she was going through, where she was irritable and frustrated and sweating all the time were perimenopause.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

She had gone through that at a very young age and had no one to talk to about it. And I think that that's what's made me so vocal about it, because how unfair is that? So I do feel lucky that we get to go through it. But wow, there's some tough days, I'll tell you that.

 

Kim:

Can we start by defining what menopause is? Because we talk about it, we laugh about it. I mean, wasn't there even a little Broadway show about it or off Broadway about it? So what define menopause for all of us once and for all?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah, I mean, menopause is really when you've gone 12 months now without your cycle, without your period, and it's really that one day after that. That's what menopause is. Everything else, all those seven to 10 years that lead up to it with weird periods, moodiness, irritability, joint pain, weight gain, can't sleep, brain fog, that's where those perimenopause has started. And your hormones are going all over the place. It's like a roller coaster. It really is very chaotic in your body. And now you've gone 12 months without your cycle. And anything after that is considered post menopause.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

But just for ease, we say menopause because post, like, quite frankly, for me, that's just too many things to remember. So I say anything else? You're menopausal, so you really in menopause the rest of your life after you hit it. So you could spend a half, third, a third to half of your life in, in menopause.

 

Kim:

And so is it, is it more than just not having your cycle? Like what happens to us hormonally? Because, yeah, there, you know, my mom went through menopause and is in it, of course, like you said. And she's never taken a supplement or any hormone or anything. So, you know, and she's like, well, if God wanted us to do that, he'd have given it to, you know, she's one of those, she's old school.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah.

 

Kim:

So like.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah.

 

Kim:

Is it more than just I don't have my cycle anymore?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Well, it's, it's where your, your hormones are fluctuating, your estrogen has, is depleted. Like, you know, kind of goes like, it's like this and chugging along and then it goes like this, you know, progesterone, you have a depletion of all these hormones and that's what causes all these things. And there are a lot of women like your mom that went through it and just said, like, I'm. I'm either sucking up the symptoms or. Yes. Or they. Or they weren't that bad or I didn't feel comfortable talking about them. Right.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And I think. And then there was this whole generation that kind of got skipped over because they didn't talk about this stuff out. Yeah, they didn't talk about it, and they weren't put on hormone therapy. They weren't offered hormone therapy. And, you know, so I know there's a lot of looking back now going, oh, gosh, yeah, that whole generation got, you know, skipped, and they've gone 10 years or however long without their cycle. And maybe they're, you know, not wanting to do hormone therapy at this point. And that's, you know, they're part of guidelines where most people say, after 10 years, is it that effective? But, you know, that's to be determined.

 

Kim:

Wouldn't you say? Like, everybody's different. Yeah.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

So different. Right, Right. What were your worst symptoms?

 

Kim:

I had the hot flashes and the sweats, But I also. I mean, my natural tendency is a warrior spirit. So you back? I mean, like, I think I missed my calling. I should have been a dude in the army. You know what I'm saying? I mean, you could be a woman in the army, too. But I'm like, I probably should have been that person.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Right.

 

Kim:

And so that just exacerbated that. Like, I was. I mean, my family was like, she's possessed by Satan. Like, anything would pop me off.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah, I know. I get it. I get it. Did you have brain fog, too?

 

Kim:

Like, would you look at having the brain fog now?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I'm having a brain fog after. Yeah, okay, I get it. It's irritating and it's real and it's. And we didn't have words for it before. We just were like, oh, I walked into this room and I can't remember why I walked in here. It's age, but that's not it. It's like, I can't remember your name, or I can't remember the next word that's coming out of my mouth. And it's really noticeable.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And I think it's more noticeable now because so many of us are in the height of our careers, and we're like, I've got it. I got the wisdom. I'm kicking butt. I'm great. Oh, wait, what was I saying? You know, and you just can't believe, right? You just can't believe. Like, it's. It's gone. It's just gone from your head.

 

Kim:

But this is the thing. I have found myself on the other side of menopause or whatever. I'm in the throes, whatever we're calling it. I have the brain fog. I have the physical energy. I want to rest more, but the stamina I have. And I don't know, it's clarity, too. Menopause is not all bad, is what I'm saying.

 

Kim:

I'm not sitting here going, oh, this is horrible. I just want to retire. I have some kind of sense of. I don't know if it's like, the age or are there any good things for menopause? Because I'm feeling good a lot too.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I'm feeling good too. I'll tell you this. This is what I've been more aware of. I love that you said that. Because I talked about the gifts of menopause. And it's funny, my publisher was like, what gifts? And I go, no, no, there are gifts. And she was like, I'm not saying the gifts. And I said, no, there really are.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And I think it's that, you know, you've got a lot of those big timeline things that were a lot of stress in your life behind you, right? Whether it was having children or relationships or it was all these, like, timelines that we kept. And I think that you and I come from the same place of, like, gotta do this next and then this and this, right? And so I think that that part's behind us. So it feels. The road feels a little more clear. I think that we've got some freedom. We're not worried about, you know, getting pregnant now. I think that there are some different areas of it that feel free to women. They're not getting their period anym.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I do agree with you that out of all the, like, the brain fog and stuff, I do have a clarity too. But it's a clarity about me. Like, I know who I am. I don't. I'm not questioning value systems. I'm not questioning, you know, who. What I want, who I want to be around. My community is really.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I understand what's important to me. And I think for a long time in my 30s and 40s, I was like, I think that's important, but maybe that's. Maybe you could convince me otherwise. So I feel. I feel good, and I feel. I feel like I've gotten closer to real women that are like. And those bonds are tight now. Very different than what it was before growing up is like, who friends are.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

My community means a lot to Me.

 

Kim:

Well, and, you know, we're part of the same community, the Q50, you know, the over 50, which is really. Isn't it so great? Because the sisterhood is so important. But like I said at the top of the show, like, this truly does. We all experience it, or like you said, we get the opportunity to those of us who get the opportunity that live long enough that come on the other side of it. Because your mother, didn't she pass of breast cancer girl?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

She did, yeah. She was 51, and she was diagnosed when she was 40, 44, 45 years old. Right around her birthday. Yeah. And so it was six years of battling that. And I, you know, when I hit 50, that wasn't my hard time. It was 51, because I didn't have a roadmap after that of what happens, you know, when you lose a mom, your. Your roadmap goes away.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

You're, like, kind of in this dark room looking for the light, you know, And I remember thinking, like, you feel orphaned. You do. You do. And I love my dad. My dad's 85. Like, God bless him. I love him so much. Like, he's.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

He's my everything. But your mom. There's something about that with your mom, you know, and so. So that was a really tough time for me. Not only. Not only that I didn't have that in front of me, but I never had those conversations, right? Those conversations that a lot of motherless daughters like don't have, you know, And I didn't even know. I didn't know there were any more conversations left to have, Kim, because I didn't know about this one, you know, And I didn't realize. I've had people say, like, well, what was your mom's menopause journey like? And I was like, I don't know.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Because she went into it because of breast cancer, you know, medically. Medical, menopause. And at the time, we were. She'd be sweating and hot, uncomfortable. But I don't even know if she knew she was in menopause. I think we thought that it was just kind of like she happened to be hot. And we would all laugh about it, and she would laugh about it. And so I.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I think there's a lot of shame wrapped up in that word for a long time. And so I'm real grateful that we get on and we have that conversation with a smile on our face, because I think of all the women that. That didn't ever have that conversation.

 

Kim:

You actually had a panic attack and a hot flash on Live television. And I, yeah, I, I'm going to step out and say this. I don't, I'm no doctor or anything, but Tamsen, so many people, especially women are dealing with, at our age, are dealing with this anxiety. I see it everywhere. I haven't seen it in young people, but do you know, like, I mean, women our age who, like you said, have got on, on the other side, have a little bit of clarity, but they're still having these anxiety. It's got to be more than just behavioral or circumstantial.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah, you had a panic attack on live tv and you know what it's like if you're on television for a long time. You don't, it doesn't phase you anymore. You can go from like eating, eating and talking, texting and snap back on. And so when that happened and how.

 

Kim:

Did it happen, what happened? Like, set the stage?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, yeah. So I, I anchored the evening news in New York City for years. And so I was at this particular station for 15 years. And I'm always like, I put New York to sleep. And so that was what I did. You know, I did the 10 to 11 o'clock newscast every night and, and I was ticking along fine. I'd had a lot of these brain fog moments, but no word to use. I was just like, gosh, for some reason, like, I'm not remembering stuff.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I don't know what's going on when I'm on the air. I'm like, I don't feel comfortable cross talking, like ad libbing, just having a conversation without a script. And so it was getting that. I was so excited to be done with the show. So I was like, okay, nothing weird happened there. Didn't know anything about perimenopause or menopause. This one particular night around 10 o'clock, I was, I had that happen at the top of the show. I'm like, well, okay, well, that's past me.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I'm sitting in the commercial break and all of a sudden I feel this inferno come up and like just sweat sprouts everywhere. And it's not like fun sweat. It's like everywhere. In your hair, in your, in your boobs, everywhere.

 

Kim:

It's like you're on fire from the inside.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

You're on fire. And I was like. And my heart's now racing to try to stop it just before we go into the next. But I'm sweating, visually sweating. And I said, oh, man, I don't know what to do. And I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and I, I said out loud in the studio of, you know, it's all guys, all camera guys and two male anchors. If I fall over, somebody catch me. Kind of half joking, half like, I need to let somebody know what's going on.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

So the anchor, the sports anchor said, I think you need to get off the set. You know, like, I'm sweating. And so I said, maybe I should. So he leads me off the set, brings me to the ladies room and, and I go in, I literally just, just lay on the floor to like get it all stopped because I didn't know if I was going to pass out, throw up. I didn't know what was going to happen. And 20 minutes late, I mean, I'm like, my dress is all hyped up. I'm like this. No, in my normal frame of mind, I would never lay on this disgusting floor.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And so I got up, I left, and I wound up going to a couple of different doctors because I didn't know it was menopause. I didn't know any of this. I said, I don't know. I had this, like, I don't know what it was. Am I something? My blood. I wind up doing blood tests and I get a note from my OB GYN that said, in menopause, any questions? And that was what was in my patient portfolio. Like my patient portal.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And that was it. It was like, okay, you got, that's what you got. That's where you're at now. And that's what led me down that road of questioning. It's the craziest, weirdest thing. I never anticipate. If you'd asked me six years ago, I'd been like, what are you talking about? Menopause, Kim? I'm gonna be on the news, doing the news. But that's how it happened.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And that's the first time I ever even knew that was a thing. Yeah.

 

Kim:

You've got this book because you've written so many books. You're a best selling author and you've got so many books. So this. How to menopause. Give us some advice. Because a lot of, I mean, like, my mom is 78. Right. And, and I love that she's.

 

Kim:

She has been in menopause a while, right?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah.

 

Kim:

So give us some advice. What steps do we need to take about all the questions that we have. Give us some questions you've been asked and tell us why the book and what we're going to find when we read it.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah, absolutely. I think the most important thing with me for the book was the fact that women in midlife, in this. In this stage, we didn't have a road. We don't have a roadmap. Like, what to do? I get we were talking earlier about the fact that, like, we're both at this place right now at this age. Like, who? I didn't think, at 54, I was going to be doing this. I thought I was going to be, like, hanging on for dear life to figure out what my career. I didn't know what was going to happen.

 

Kim:

And so are you getting ready for retirement?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

We're getting ready for retirement. I was like, I'm going to be by a pool or a beach.

 

Kim:

We just started new careers. Girl, you get ready to work.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Crazy.

 

Kim:

I know.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And you know what I love about it? I love about the fact that, like, I lay in bed at night, like, I can't wait for the next day. And I don't think I felt like that when I was younger. I mean, maybe I was excited about some stuff, but I. I went through a lot of years not feeling like that. I'm pretty convinced that I don't remember those times. Like, I get excited to get up in the morning now, which I think is really great. Like, I spring out of bed, like, oh, I got so much to do. But so what I did with the book and what I wanted to do was talk about menopause as a 360, not, like, here's, you know, just your hormones.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Because I don't think it's just that. I know it's not just that. It's the 360 of a woman. It's every part of you. It's. It's. It's your. It's mental, it's physical, it's spiritual.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

It's your community. And so what I did with the book is really divide it up so that we can talk about the things we talk about with Q50, as a matter of fact. We talk about our style, we talk about makeup, we talk about hair and skin and workplace and what we want to do next in life. So I really wanted that to be. You know, we deal with, like, what the symptoms are, how to understand them, how to go into your doctor's office at any age. If your mom's 78, you know, there's important things to still do at that age. If you're past menopause, you know, there's still important things that you have to do to take care of your body when it comes to osteoporosis or heart or brain. So it doesn't end for us us in terms of that.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

So does it's not like, oh we went through those years, we were fine. We there's long term health implications that we have to pay attention to. So I really wanted this book to run that gamut of of perimenopause and post because this part of a woman's life is kind of left off the timeline. After we hit this midlife place, we're just not there. We're not there with research, we're not there with a roadmap. And so I was super excited to write this because I had fun being able to dive into the the other parts of mindset with this of what to ask your doctor if you do want to explore hormones, what to ask your doctor if you've gone through menopause and you're on the other side of it now and still need to maintain good bone health and strength and nutrition, still have an active sex life. You know, those are all really important questions. I know there and it's possible, really possible.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And so. But we never were taught what to ask and we never were told it's okay to ask it.

 

Kim:

Well, you know, menopause is portrayed on the most part negatively, if it's portrayed at all. It's kind of a little bit of a negative connotation. Almost like menopause equals no more femininity.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah.

 

Kim:

I mean seriously, I mean you don't think menopause and think, oh, she's gorgeous, she's vivacious, she's beautiful. You think, well, she's old.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That's exactly right. When I read that in my patient portal, I was standing in the airport, you know, in menopause, has any questions. I was staying in the airport with my now husband, then boyfriend and I was like this, I'm in menopause. I didn't even know what to say. And then I was like, why did I tell him that he's going to think I'm old and my best years are behind me? Because that's really what I thought when I heard a word like that. So I think that it the reason that the book is that I was excited to interview so many people, interviewed 42 different experts plus for the book because I think it's not just what happens in the doctor's office, it's what happens in the bedroom, it's what happens in the boardroom, it's what happens when it comes to boundaries in our lives. We learn a lot during this time and we're not pausing. There's no such thing As a pause during this time.

 

Kim:

Can we talk hormones? Do you talk hormones in the book, Tamsen?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah, I do. Absolutely. Hormones and non hormonal options. Yep.

 

Kim:

Okay, can we just briefly talk about that? Because everybody listening. I've heard some pro. Some are, you know, no hormones. Like I said, my mother's no hormones. Tell me about hormones. A. I know we're missing a lot of estrogen, right?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

We are, we are.

 

Kim:

Yeah.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

It spikes. It can go up and down. That's like in the perimenopause part. But, you know, some of these symptoms are the effects of low levels of estrogen, primarily, but also progesterone and also testosterone. So. So those are some of the things to be aware of. It's not just estrogen, but it's. It's all of those.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

But, you know, when that estrogen fluctuates, that's that perimenopause part. When that estrogen is like, at its, you know, not great point when we're talking about hormone therapy is when we're in menopause. But there are a lot of doctors that will prescribe hormone therapy in perimenopause and they'll, you know, regulate those doses of it because you're fluctuating all over the place. So I'm on hormone therapy. I lost my mother to breast cancer. I was very, very confused when I went into menopause thinking like, oh, I don't know if I'm allowed. I can't do that. I can't have estrogen in my body.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

My mother had breast cancer. My gosh. That's like. That's always been the scariest thing in my life.

 

Kim:

I'm going to be honest with you. That's. That is a fear of mine for doing hormone therapy.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Of course it is.

 

Kim:

I don't want to be on estrogen because I don't know where I heard this. So funny how you.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That's what everybody says. It's unbelievable. So there was a study in 2002, the Women's Health Initiative, that studied and looked into this. And it was a big study that went on. And at the end of the study, it was really, when it was released, announced that by the end of it, it was that hormones, estrogen, will, you know, could create breast cancer or cause breast cancer. And that's all that anyone took away from. From that. They came back after that and pulled that back.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

It's not what the data supported, but that's all women had to hear. And the, the rate of doctors stopped prescribing it. Medical Schools were, have not taught, have not taught it to a lot of the doctors that are out there. You can go into, out of 20 doctors, a couple of them might tell you, oh no, I'm not going to, I'm not going to put you on that. And women started flushing it down the toilet. We did a documentary in October called the M Factor, talking about this. And two of the physicians that were on were prescribing during that time. And they said, I'll never forget the day our phone in the office ringing off the hook.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

40% of women were on estrogen or on hormone therapy, down to 4% because women were freaked out. Now, the data didn't show that they've pulled that back. They said menopause society has said, you know, hormone therapy is the most effective solution for menopausal symptoms, for certain menopausal symptoms. But still that really stuck with women because like, like you, like me, that has always been a fear. I had a doctor finally explain that to me. Several. And that was kind of part of my gone down this rabbit hole. And you know, I'm a journalist, not a doctor.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

So I was like, I need, I need answers to this, to understand it, to explain it. And I started estrogen. It was in progesterone hormone therapy. And it was one of the best things I did. And it's helped me on so many levels. First it helped me start being able to sleep again. Then it started helping with hot flashes. And now I feel like I went for a long time, Kim saying, who am I? I don't even recognize who I am some days.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I really did not have a full sense of self. I couldn't get it back. And I feel like I know her again, you know, like I know who I am again and I recognize myself in the mirror again. And not all women are candidates for hormone therapy and that's something they have to go through with their doctor. But just because you have had a mother like I did with breast cancer doesn't mean you're not a candidate for hormone therapy. And in fact, you very well may be. And so I always am just an advocate of knowing what you need to go in there and ask. And there are non hormonal options too for women that might not want to or aren't candidates for it.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

So encouraged by that part too, because I think it's so important to you gotta, you've gotta take charge of your health because you know your body better than anybody else.

 

Kim:

Is it the truth you've got to do anybody else got to go in be your own boss when it comes to that.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, yeah. You have to.

 

Kim:

Because I think we're all very different. But how much does like your. Your diet. Because like my diet has been crap for over the last decade and I've just lost like 50, 60 pounds. I've gained 10 of it back. We're working on praying about it.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

All right.

 

Kim:

But I have noticed in the menopause, so a lot of you listening to you say, you know, I'm more depressed now. I have anxiety, I've got a lot of weight gain.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah.

 

Kim:

Don't we have to look at our like, don't. Because I've always thought I'm going to look at my life. You never look at it the proper way when you're living it. But I'm going to look next chapters of my life and view it not apply the same things that I've been doing in the past. Because I've noticed exercise is different for me.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Totally.

 

Kim:

My endurance is a little different. I mean, there's a lot of. Shouldn't we now post menopause or if we're in it, really design our lives a little differently? Even how we eat, how we sleep, all the things.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I love that you say that because I agree with you. I think sometimes we're all trying to live this. I mean, I grew up as an 80s girl, so I was like, get on the treadmill and sweat and if I have enough sweat under the treadmill and don't go into the big bad weight room because those are where the boys go. I mean, that's literally what I did. And I was like, okay, I worked off, you know, my lunch and my breakfast and that's what I did. That's what I did. And when I look back at how I beat up my body and was like so mean to it all those years and like drank a big gulp of Diet Coke and that was how it got through me through college. You know what I mean? I just look back and I'm like, what?

 

Kim:

Ain't it the truth, girl? Me too, honey. Diet Mountain Dew.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I mean, yeah. Oh, die Mountain Dew too. I know.

 

Kim:

We are 80s babies, girl. We are us amazed babies.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Give me some snack wells. And I am in good shape. Right? I know, right? That beautiful green box.

 

Kim:

Okay, so they don't work for us anymore.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

They don't work for us anymore. I feel like crap. Even alcohol is like, what I can't caffeine. I mean, I just go down the list. So I did. I didn't want to depress myself when I was writing the book. But I did, I did carve out those chapters because that's what I was talking about when I. When I did that last part of it.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Because I thought, wow, we're going to be in menopause one day, but we're going to be in this next part of our life for a third to a half of our life. And so that's why I wanted to framework those things. Sleep. So critically important.

 

Kim:

I know, and I love it. Do you love sleep now?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I do. Now I do. I'm like, this is. I'm going to sleep. I used to be like, I want to stay up as late as possible. Did you do that? I was like, I'm staying up as late as possible.

 

Kim:

And now I'm like, we're type A people, you know, I know 7:30 and winding down.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I was like, I'm winding down now, everybody. And before I'd be like, I got four hours of sleep and I can still rock it. I don't do that anymore. I don't brag about my lack of sleep. And I did go through, like, and talk about those things because that, that bedroom hygiene is real. Like, I thought that I was like, yeah, that's where people have time for that. But I have blacked out my room completely. I, like, in a beautiful way.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Like, I go. I shut my, like, shut my eyes. It's like Las Vegas. It's like those hotel rooms in Vegas where they, like, darken. I don't need to. I darken. I have a Vegas bedroom now. It's so dark.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And. And I don't know why it's Vegas, but for some reason, it's like really dark in those hotel rooms.

 

Kim:

What happens there stays there, so stays in the way.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I don't know. So I don't know. And you know, I do progesterone, which is one of the hormones, and magnesium. Every night before I go to bed.

 

Kim:

So I am, like, relaxed, relaxed.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I even topical one that I do if I have any joint pain, little spray. And then I really pay attention to what I'm doing with the devices because I'm like you. I'm like, working till the last minute. I'm not always perfect with it, but I try. And then I try to get up the same time every morning when I can and go to bed around the same time every night. Because that is the only way that I have some type of a framework, you know, around, you know, what I. What I'm doing in my life. And so that, that feels Good and feels whole.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And sleep has made a huge difference. And then with my working out, I went from that treadmill to not a ton of cardio anymore. I still do it, but it's mostly walking as much as I can to get outside. And then a lot of strength training in the weight room. So I'm back in the weight room with the guys and I see all women in there now, and I love it.

 

Kim:

I've heard that the weight. So we can find all this information in this book, right?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yes.

 

Kim:

And let's talk diet, because I love to eat. It's my vice.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Me too.

 

Kim:

Never drank, never smoke, never ran around with a bunch of men. But I love me some food.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I love that, though. But food has to be fun. It can't be awful all the time. I don't want it to be awful.

 

Kim:

But you suggest a Mediterranean diet, and you know what I've been really thinking? What is that? Because I've heard about it and. La, la, la, what? In a nutshell, what is it? It.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I mean, you can make it how you wanted to make it, right? But I grew up. I grew up Lebanese. So it was like, oh, I know that diet. I used to. I just. I just revolted against it. When I was young, you know, I was like, I want bologna like everyone else is having. I don't want this hummus, whatever this is.

 

Kim:

Oh, I love hummus, though.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

You know, I do, too. But I love the bread with it, too. So that's my big problem. But when you're talking about a Mediterranean diet, here's kind of what it prioritizes. Whole grains, vegetable, fruit, legumes, seeds, nuts, fish, eggs and some lean protein, olive oil, herbs and spices. You don't leave a lot out of it. That's the beauty of the Mediterranean diet. What you leave out of it is the processed foods, sugar and too much red meat.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

But lean protein is fine. We see that protein is so important right now. And I personally find it really hard to get to enough of. I really do find it difficult. So I have to work at that with a smoothie that's packed with it in the morning or some way to it. But I feel like the Mediterranean diet, I at least enjoy eating. So I do have the chickpeas and the beans, and you can do meat and stuff. It's just that, you know, you can't go crazy on the bread, but you can do whole grains, so that's good.

 

Kim:

So is all this in the book? Every. Every question you have about menopause is in this book.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yes, I wanted to be. I was like, how do you menopause? How. How come no one ever told me how to menopause? And then that's kind of how I came up with what I wanted to, Wanted to talk about, you know, because I don't think it's just in the doctor's office, but we do have incredible doctors and researchers and SC all throughout the book. But I also wanted to make sure that the real life that you and I are going to have to do day to day, we're not going to be in the doctor's office every day. We're going to be like at a restaurant or eating or working. And I wanted that to be part of the book. Yeah. So it's got nutrition, it's got working out to simplify it, if you've never been in the gym or don't want to stay a long time in the gym.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And it also talks a lot about friendships, relationships, people that are starting relationships over again because I think that's an important part of the story.

 

Kim:

A lot of us are dating again, single again. And my best friend Amy, who is going through. She's in the throes of like, perimenopause right now. She's single and ready to mingle.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Dating. Yeah. Well, I've got a chapter for her in there. I got remarried at 50 years old. I was like, what? Yeah. So I, it was really important for me to speak to the 360 of a woman because I think that that's what we have been missing for a long time. You know, we, we. I, I asked, I asked the questions of the book that women were asking me to ask, you know, so I was excited to be able to really use the social community and listen and hear what they wanted to hear and process as many of those questions.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

So their stories are in it too. So I have to thank so many women that contributed and were really raw and open about whatever it was, whether it was talking about relationships or talking about having a really difficult time or enjoying the gifts of where we are right now.

 

Kim:

So what was the number one common question? Oh, gosh, you're getting from, from, from the majority. The number one. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Because I believe we're all the same, just in different ways.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah, I do. I agree with you. Well, belly fat was a huge one, but I think. What is that? I know, I know that's, that's a little bit of everything. I know it's, it's meant. And it's one of them it's different. It's different.

 

Kim:

It's not.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, it's not chubby. Yeah, it's totally different. And I think. But I think the biggest question was, am I ever gonna feel like myself again? That was the big question. Like, that was the. Because I think we can deal with all those other things like, we could deal with like nut, sleep, the belly. But when. When you don't feel like yourself and that's the person you've been living with for 50 or 60 years, that's scary.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And I think that that was really. If I look at everything that was the big, overriding, most important question that my answer is, you're gonna. You're not gonna feel like that person again. I think you're gonna feel better because you're gonna get through this part of this time. Like, this is a time you have to focus, like, on yourself a little bit even. I'm dealing with an aging parent. I've done a career change. I started a new relationship.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And sometimes I was like, I don't have time for all that. But I had to make it in order for me to be able to show up for everybody else.

 

Kim:

You know, that. That's like. That's a really, really good point. And I think a lot of people listening to you right now need to hear that. Women, we don't prioritize ourselves. And I know that sounds selfish, but I also think society always tells us you're a helpmate. I mean, my Lord, in the Bible, it says we are the helper. You know, I mean, we were tagged with that from the beginning, girl.

 

Kim:

But I'm just saying, like, a lot of times, women are the backbone. The head bone, the neck bone, the tailbone. We are just really keeping that thing going.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah, we are.

 

Kim:

And we don't put our own oxygen mask on before we help others. And to me, that is probably the biggest aha moment I've just had, like, in the last two or three years. Like, seriously, so glad.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I'm so glad.

 

Kim:

If you're going through menopause, it's a wake up call.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

It is.

 

Kim:

Okay. Why is it a wake up call for you? Cause I'm gonna tell what it is for me. I'd love to hear why.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Tell me why. For you.

 

Kim:

Okay, for me, it was like, dang, girl, you've got. You know, as my mama used to say, she says this, she's been saying this, that she was like, 50. I ain't got but 10 good years left. And not meaning like, she's gonna die, but meaning, like, Healthy and you know all of that.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah.

 

Kim:

She's actually prophesied and manifested another 10 good years every year. She said it so like she's 78, she's modeling, she's rocking and rolling, but God bless her, kind of feel that way. Right. Like so when, when all this was going on because when you stop having your cycle, although we hate our cycles. Yeah, of course it is a sign of I ain't young anymore.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah, I'm going toward that way. Yeah, absolutely it is.

 

Kim:

And so for me I, it was a wake up call because I thought, oh, what the crap am I gonna do? I look back at my life and I'd accomplished a lot. But like what am I here for now? What now what is. How am I going to add what you know, I've taken care of everybody else. What am I going to do for me?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah.

 

Kim:

Selfish. Is that our time to really look within and be about giving back to ourselves a little bit?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I mean if you don't, if you don't do it, then why don't you doing it? When you said a second it said we're helpers as women. I heard, help her.

 

Kim:

Help her. Oh my God, help her. I just peed a little bit on myself. Help her. And that's another thing in menopause.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Another sign.

 

Kim:

That's another sign.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Another symptom.

 

Kim:

You wear Depends or a pad. People do what you gotta do. But isn't that true? Help her.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Help her. Yeah, that's what I heard. When you said that gave me chills. Because that's true. That is that time.

 

Kim:

Selfish is maybe the wrong word, but self word, you know, look, with self word is great. We gotta take. Cause we've taken care of everybody. And I know this for me when I say to the kids, shut up, I ain't doing that. Sit down. Y'all go out, leave me alone. When I take care of myself, I'm better at the helping everybody else too.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Everything else, we can help them after, but we gotta help her first. Thank you. I mean that really it really. And I hope that women feel that. And I think the more that we talk about it, it's very hard. It's hard for me to feel it sometimes. You remember the simple Abundance books way back. You'd open it up, we had the.

 

Kim:

Same eight, we had the same, we had to cut from the same cloth. You had me.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And then there was a second one that was yellow. But anyway, so open it up. And I would be like, oh, I'm gonna do this today. This is my Day. What I wanted to do with the book was make it kind of brain fog proof, you know, so you can open up this book and you can say, like, I'm doing this today for me. And so whether it has to do with your brain or your sleep or your community or your workplace or your dating or your relationships or your nutrition, I wanted it to be that type of book because that's the only type that has really ever resonated with me. I can't. I can't go real deep, you know, I can't go into the dents.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

So it took me a lot of time to really read the studies, talk to these experts and drill it down. And that's what I want this book to be, to help her, you know, because I. I think that we don't have a lot of time to sit down and like, study something. We're like, what. What do I have to do? How do. I met a pot? You know, So I wanted it to. You could really focus on it with whatever attention span that you have right now and be able to help yourself. Just even if it's one thing a week, even if it's.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That it doesn't have to be all of it. But you're right, it's really hard for us to do that. I know it is. I know it is.

 

Kim:

Well, and we can all do it together as a community. I mean, that's the beautiful thing about the Q50, is that we're all in this together and it is a common thread for all of us.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

It is something. It really is.

 

Kim:

You know, we all experience together. Okay, before we go, I've got to do this. We have to do what I call rapid fire. Now, the great thing about you and I, okay, is that if you and everybody listening, if you are in menopause, it might not be as rapid of a fire as you want it to be. And that's okay.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

It's all right.

 

Kim:

Comes out. Yeah, whatever comes to your mind. Which again, in menopause can be a little scary. Cuz sometimes somebody can. Yes, it's.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

It's unfiltered. Some days, Kim, I'm gonna tell you.

 

Kim:

That, y'all, I've caught myself on business meetings, like with these little young girls, these buyers and thieves. I'm like, honey, we ain't doing that. Shut it down. And they're like, oh, my God, Kim is mad. I'm like, oh, no, I'm not mad. That means I like you. If I'm getting on to you, slapping you around verbally a little Bit. That means I like you.

 

Kim:

I love that. That's Kim in menopause.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That's perfect. That's perfect. That's how you Menopause.

 

Kim:

That's ah. Menopause, baby. So I'm gonna ask you a question. The first thing that comes up comes out. Don't even think about it.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

All right?

 

Kim:

Okay.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

It'll come out rapid fire. Questions.

 

Kim:

Your first job was a server at Ruby Tuesdays.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Did you know that about me?

 

Kim:

No. I did. I knew that about you.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, Ruby Tuesdays was my first real.

 

Kim:

Why I love a frickin Ruby Tuesday salad bar. I mean, seriously. In fact, I want to go right now.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Where did you grow up? Where did you grow up?

 

Kim:

I grew up in Georgia. I grew up right, okay.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Because mine was Texas, so that. So it must have been all south.

 

Kim:

Oh, Ruby Tuesdays is. That's, you know, that's the southern thing.

 

Zac:

I should be at Ruby Tuesdays in Massachusetts. I think it's all over.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Really?

 

Zac:

Well, I think so.

 

Kim:

Ruby is Tuesday and all over the world. It's so good. What is the one thing that you learned from that job?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Job? Oh, gosh. Multitasking. And like, how to remember everything all over the place. I was like, I can take another table. I can take another table. I'm gonna get another $5 tip. I'll take another table. That was me.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I was so happy.

 

Kim:

Those were the days, sister. Okay.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Yeah, I know. In cash.

 

Kim:

Okay. What are some of the biggest misconceptions about menopause?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That your best days are behind you, that hormone therapy is dangerous. I think it's just different for everybody. That you can't have a great relationship anymore or good sex life and that you're old.

 

Kim:

Hey, man, that's it. I mean, what more do y'all want? Okay, here we go.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I mean, come on.

 

Kim:

You're also, you, you, you know, you're a dating expert. You've written many books about it. What is your go to dating advice for women in midlife, especially in this age of technology? Swipe left and right and all that.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, yes. Meet in person as soon as possible. Don't play around, like, back forth, back forth, back forth, back forth. And then I would also say, like, come on, you know, you don't need. Don't ask the questions like, why hasn't he text? Why is he going if he's not there, you know, it move on. Like, we just know at that time in life, like, we don't have time to play the games that we played when we were 20.

 

Kim:

Love that.

 

Zac:

That's like a mic drop.

 

Kim:

Yeah, that is totally mic drop. What do you miss about being a TV news anchor?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

The breaking news. I always was like, you know, I always felt like, yeah, it was a breaking news babe. And I always, I love the community aspect of that, which was great. I always felt like, oh, look what we're gonna. We're helping New York wake up or we're helping New York go to sl. So that part. But I feel like now we're helping women menopause, so it feels pretty good.

 

Kim:

It's, It's. You are help her. Okay.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Or help her. Uh huh.

 

Kim:

Are our phones listening to us always?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I know every. Everything I say. You're gonna come up on my. You're gonna come up on my Instagram feed, right? Like in the next five minutes, I'm gonna screenshot it for you. I know it's gonna happen when we get off the phone. Cause my phone's right here.

 

Kim:

So my best friend Amy swears that they think they can think our thoughts. I'm like, amy, you're psychother.

 

Kim:

She goes, I swear.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Might not be hard, it might not be far. I'm telling you, I think that sometimes, but I don't say it out loud because I'm scared to think that.

 

Kim:

Yeah. All right, Meta. Good luck with that one. Come up on in here and see how far you get.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I don't know that you want to meta.

 

Kim:

That's what I'm saying. Get ready to get scared to death. Okay, here we go. What's the one thing you want to share that you would share with your younger self if you could? Oh, gosh.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I always love this. I think that. Because I think about it a lot. I think it would just be like, like it's all going to be. It's all going to be all right. Like, whatever problem you have today, you're probably not going to have in 24 hours. And I think, I think I tried to train myself with that too. Because when I was young, I was so wrapped up with whatever the problem was, I was like, this is the.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

This is the end of it all. And then like the next day, I forgot what the problem was. And so I try to, you know, I wish I could have told her that because, like, what? Wasted time, you know?

 

Kim:

Let it go. Let it go. Okay. Favorite junk food. And I mean junk food now. Okay? I don't mean the Mediterranean mess. I mean junk food.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Salty. Us and salty. Okay. My salty one.

 

Kim:

Oh, make it good girl.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

My salty one. As I love Fritos because I love Frito pies.

 

Kim:

No, no, no, no, no. And can I just say something? Oh, my gosh. I love. I had Fritos last night with a French onion. Let me tell you something.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

We are going out. I love Fritos.

 

Kim:

I know, but Fritos is a different kind of person.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I love the smell of my breath when, like, I have people.

 

Kim:

But Tamsen people don't. Very few people like the Fritos.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I love Fritos.

 

Kim:

Do you like fried fries?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

And I love when I get the extra salty one.

 

Kim:

Zac, do you like Fritos?

 

Zac:

I love Fritos. They're so salty. They're my go to. Like, when I'm on a road trip and I go to the gas station, and I'm like, I need, like, a road trip snack. Fritos all the way.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Or Bugles.

 

Kim:

Oh, good.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I like.

 

Kim:

Bugles are good, too. Bugles are good. But Fritos are a different kind. I used to do Fritos and pour the hormones. Chili over the top of it and just.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I know. I know. That was a thing. And that's what you ate. Like, that was. I said to somebody recently, and they were like, I don't know what you're talking about. Is it on a pie?

 

Kim:

And I'm like, bless their hearts.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

What? No, it's not in a pie.

 

Kim:

Bless their hearts. Oh, good.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That makes me happy.

 

Kim:

If you don't know movies, Tuesdays or Frito pie.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Come on.

 

Kim:

You're in trouble.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Come on.

 

Kim:

Listen, email us. We'll help you out. All right. Who is your celebrity crush? And I'm gonna. I normally ask this. It can be. Be today your celebrity crush or back in the day, in the 80s, because we're 80s babies.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, my 80s.

 

Kim:

Okay, seriously, who was your 80s?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That's what I want to crush with John Stamos. I had a poster him from General Hospital Blackie on my wall. He was my.

 

Kim:

He's still hot.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

He was hot. He's still hot. And then before that. But I was like. I don't know if he was really my crush. I was younger, was John Travolta, and I had the one where he was, like, staying alive. Yes, that was my. Yeah, that was my crush.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

But John Stamos was like, my. You know.

 

Kim:

Okay, good night.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Good night. John Stamos.

 

Kim:

Do you. Do you watch any of the teen shows and all that? Like, I loved. I love going back to give me a high school movie on Netflix, and I'm watching it, like, Kissing Booth. I watch all that stuff.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, you do?

 

Kim:

Oh, gosh. I'm eight. I'm 12. I'm 12.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That's okay. I love it.

 

Kim:

So that's another thing. When you're older, you can talk about hot guys and nobody takes offense to them.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Nobody cares. She, too. She's cute. She's precious. Isn't she precious? I say.

 

Kim:

Well, I'll tell you what, Ms. Kim. That's what they tell me. I'm like, now he's a hottie.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I could say that he's a hot.

 

Kim:

You like, I'll go to the kids at school and all the little girls that go to my son's school, and I'm like, no, he's hot. And all the girl now. It's not weird and freaky now, Zac, you can't do that when you're old.

 

Zac:

I can't do that. Yeah, that's one of those things that, like, a guy cannot go to a high school and be like, I can.

 

Kim:

Go and do that.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Kim and I are not coming to get you if you do that.

 

Kim:

So just so you know, there is a thing called Nana. Pause. But, like, seriously, who was your crush now?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, my crush now. Okay. Everyone is like, what? I think Jeremy Renner is so adorable. I do not know why. I think he's like king of. King of whatever. Mayor of whatever. Like, I think what.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I know. I don't know why.

 

Kim:

I don't know why.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I'm just like, that's my. And everyone's like, that's your crush but him. And then for the funny side of it, like, he's my serious one. And then the funny side of it is probably always going to be okay. God, what's his name? Like, what am I thinking of it?

 

Kim:

I can't remember. This is it. The guy.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

The guy in Wedding Crashers. What's his name? The guy in Wedding. Give me the two leads. And Wedding Crashers. Vince.

 

Zac:

Oh, no.

 

Kim:

Oh, Vince Vaughn.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Vince. Vince Vaughn.

 

Kim:

Yes.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Vince.

 

Kim:

Vince.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Vince.

 

Kim:

Vince.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

What's wrong with me?

 

Kim:

No. He's a New Yorker. Is he not a New Yorker? And he's really tall, and he's kind of like.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

He's sarcastic.

 

Kim:

It's a little sarcastic.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

So who's yours? I like snarkiness. Yeah.

 

Kim:

Oh, gosh. Today the young kids. I love Thor. So not. Which is not Hemsworth.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

That's a good one.

 

Kim:

I'm not trying to do the Hemsworth, okay? No, no, no. He's too touchy feely. I want Thor. I want the local Thor. I want the big old Hammer and Then who was back then?

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Who's back in the day?

 

Kim:

Oh, gosh. I had Sean Cassidy. You're gonna crack on up. But Donny Osmond was for a while.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

When I was younger, Donny Osmond was mine, too, Donnie. I had Donna worry Barbie dolls.

 

Kim:

Of course you did. I had the record.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Did you know that? You did?

 

Kim:

Oh, I've met them at the Cute Player. You know, I've met them at qdc, and I. I almost wrapped my legs around Marie Osmond. I thought. She thought, okay, this girl's a little psycho.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

They were my idol, the two of.

 

Kim:

Them, and I'm going to tell you when. But my teenage crush was the Russian from Rock. Remember the Russian dolphin? Who was that?

 

Zac:

Him. Liked a bad boy. Yeah. Dolph Lundgren.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I like a bad boy. I'm gonna tell you. Bad boy.

 

Kim:

I don't date men that are smaller or have smaller butts than me. If your butt is better or smaller than mine, I don't like you, but.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I love that you like Jeremy. Jeremy is a bad boy.

 

Kim:

Oh, my God. This is now the new podcast, Menopause and Crushes.

 

Zac:

On a totally unrelated not. I listened to your podcast, Tamsen, and if you have Halle Berry's number that you could just give me, like, tell.

 

Kim:

Halle to call us.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

She was such a gem.

 

Kim:

Like, I gotta tell you, your podcast is fantastic.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Oh, thank you. Your podcast is fantastic. I've only had two episodes.

 

Kim:

I'm still, like, trying to figure it all out.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I need to watch ours.

 

Kim:

All right, I have a last question. Gosh, I could talk to you forever. Okay, I want you to leave everybody listening right now because we're joking about menopause, and you and I are. Or sisters from another Mr. Too. So leave us with a menopause pep talk. Just talk to all the women out there who are experiencing the symptoms and maybe haven't done anything about it. You know, Tamsa, I mean, just talk to us.

 

Kim:

Give us your words of encouragement and wisdom, and we're going to get the book. Tell us. Tell us. Tell us it's all going to be okay. Give us a pep talk.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

You know what? It's going to be all okay because I look at somebody like you and I know what. What. Where you are and what you're. Where you're at and what happens next. And I. And I think that that lets us know that everything's going to be okay first. So I'm hoping that women that are stepping out and being vocal about it and talking about it are. That.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Are that inspiration that Other women need. But I would say this. If you are in that muck and in the middle of like everything and everything's pulling at you from all different directions that there we take, we said the words help her, you have got to help you. I mean, I think, I think that is so, so important. And there's nothing else that can take preced over because you can't be there for anybody else if not, and you really can't be. And if you don't get control of where your health is right now to take care of it, whatever age you are, whether you're 48, 58, 68, 78, 88, if you don't take control of whatever, you can do the best. I mean, you want these years to be beautiful years. It's not about living as high of a number as you can get to.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

You want those to be great years that you feel good, you want to get out of bed, and you want to feel excited about it. And so I would just say whether it's hormones, whether it's non hormonal, whether it's a lifestyle change, implement one at a time. Doesn't have to be a big to do list. It's overwhelming that you give up on. But I promise you there's really hope to feel better than ever because it's what you deserve. It's what you deserve. You've been there for everyone else all these years. Well, I love you.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

Your words are just like, they touch me. They really do touch me. And I, the first time we connected, I was like, I love her. She's just amazing.

 

Kim:

And y'all, Tamsen is gorgeois. I mean, so gorgeous. And I gotta watch you Friday night because you're gonna be on.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I'm so excited.

 

Kim:

Yeah, I know this will be out for them, but then go back and watch it. The over 50 and fabulous episode with my girl Mally, who's also in menopause. I just outed Mali. She is in menopause as well. Okay, y'all, you can follow Tamsen on all the social media platforms at Tamsen, Fadal, all the platforms, Instagram, Facebook, everywhere. And you have to get Tamsen's book, How to Menopause, y'all. It's gonna be a game changer. And it's out now everywhere.

 

Kim:

Books are sold, and her new podcast is the Hampson Show. Go and download it now. Her documentary is called the M Factor. M, I guess stands for menopause. So you're gonna, you're gonna do such important work for women. You're already doing important work for women. This is a subject that has been taboo, Tamson, but you are certainly the fearless leader to lead us into the menopause moment.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

You're wonderful. I want to have a frito pie with t you.

 

Kim:

Bonus next time we're doing it.

 

Zac:

That's behind the scenes.

 

Tamsen Fadal:

I love it.

Kim:
The Kim Gravel Show is produced and edited by Zac Miller. His production company is Uncommon Audio. Our producer is Kathleen Grant from the Brunette Exec. Production help from  Emily Bredin and Sara Noto. Our cover art is designed by Sanaz Huber at Memarian Creative. Our show is edited by Mike Kligerman. Our guest intros are performed by Roxy Reese. Our guest booking is done by Central Talent Booking. Our ads are furnished by True Native Media. And y'all, I want to give a big huge thank you to the entire team at QVC+ and a special thank you to our audience for making this community so strong. If you are still listening then you must have liked a few episodes along the way. So tell somebody about it. Tell somebody about this show and join our mailing list at kimgravelshow.com. I cannot do this show without you and so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. I hope you gain a little bit of encouragement, light and love love from watching and listening to The Kim Gravel Show. I love you all so much. Till next time. Bye.