How To Know A Good Thing When You See It

*This transcript was auto-generated*

Kim Gravel: All right, Zac. Hey, how are you? 

Zac Miller: I'm good, Kim. How are you? 

Kim Gravel: Honey, I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger. 

Zac Miller: You've just launched your jewelry line. Congratulations. 

Kim Gravel: I mean, it's like, it's like every other day. It's like the house is on fire. We're launching this. We're doing this. You know, I've got two, two teenagers at the house.

Zac Miller: How are they? 

Kim Gravel: Okay, well, I'm kicking the podcast off with this because, I think they're delusional. 

Zac Miller: I'm just seeing this from their point of view and they're like, my mom says I'm delusional. 

Kim Gravel: I'm not, I don't say they're delusional. They are. delusional. And I got to tell you, like, I'm going to get really real with y'all on this.

On this episode, because we're calling this, how do you know a good thing when you see it? Okay. This is, this is what we call in this podcast, but I, I, I, I I'm dedicating this to my, my three men that I live with, Travis Blanton, Okay. My husband is Travis. I've got the two boys, 14 year old Blanton and 16 year old Beau.

And, I, I lost it the other night, just lost it. And when I say lost it, I meant I had, I think what is called an outer body experience. Okay. Okay. So either A, I'm having a nervous breakdown or B, no one is talking about raising teens in this kind of way, or C, I'm looking at a good thing and I'm not seeing it.

Okay. So this is my options here. Now, a lot of that might be, all three of those things could be actually true and all of it, a little bit can be part of truth and I'm getting there. I'm It's been a doozy. It's been a doozy of a week. I, I've got a 14 year old, this, this trying, trying to fail every class he's in.

I've got a 16 year old who's, who I had to track on life 360. And then I've got a husband who I don't, I mean, I guess he's got spring fever or something. I don't know, Zac. I'm just telling you, it's been a rough week. 

Zac Miller: Sorry, Kim. Wait, why can we go back to the try to fail every class thing? I don't mean to just derail you, but like, 

Kim Gravel: He's trying to actually fail. Like he's got the work and he doesn't turn it in. And when you do that, basically an email comes on this in bright red. I mean, it might as well be going, uh, uh, says you've got a zero, you know? And then, and then I asked him about the zeros and he's like, Oh, it says, I'm turning tomorrow. Like, I mean, like, so to come to find out, I'm like, wow, he's not doing this work.

He's not turning in. But the work is in the folder. He's just too lazy to open the folder, slide out the work, and turn the finished work in.

Zac Miller: Okay. I don't know what to say about that, Kim. That's wild. 

Kim Gravel: So this is why I wanted to have this episode today because I need you, everybody listening, to help encourage me today. Normally I have a lot of good things to encourage you. So I lost it. When I mean lose it, I, If you had been videoing me and putting this out on social media, people said this woman needs to be committed somewhere.

Okay. All right. It was like, um, 

Zac Miller: You paint a picture. Wait. So what? Paint the picture. Tell us what happened. Set the scene. Tell us what happened. 

Kim Gravel: So we come to find out that Blaine's not turning any of his work, you know, and when you're starting to get, you know, emails from teachers and stuff, you know, you're just like, okay, all right.

Well, you know, cause I wasn't the best student. Let's just be honest. I mean, I wasn't, I mean I was squeaking by. with a C. 

Zac Miller: Well, you always say like, Oh, negotiate your grades. Like you were over there. I picture young Kim, like, you know, going to the teacher and being like, Hey, look.

Kim Gravel: Oh, in college, I negotiated, baby. I knew what I had to do to get where I had to go. But, you know, Blanton, unfortunately for Blanton, he ain't got that kind of swag, okay? Unfortunately for Blanton, he does not have my negotiating skills. He has his father's. 

Zac Miller: Can we just, I just like, hold on, audience. You need to know Kim went to theology school.

So Kim is negotiating grades in theology school, 

Kim Gravel: but there's nothing wrong. There's nothing, you know, backhanded, sinful about that. That's just a life skill. 

Zac Miller: I mean, you're the one who went to theology school, you would know. 

Kim Gravel: Dr. Hooks, he was my, hermeneutics teacher and I remember like, and he was like, he is like the biggest follower.

I hope he's still alive. Mr. Hooks, if you are, I love you, man. And I remember I had to have an A in this class, right? And I was barely scraping by with a B. And I remember I said to him, I said, I have to be on the Dean's List to win this Georgia. That's a true story. I said, I have to be on the Dean's List of Women's Georgia.

And so I remember he's like, I've got to pray about it. I've got to pray about it. And then one day he called me into the teacher's lounge. This is a true story. Atlanta Christian College in East Point, Georgia. He called me into the teacher's lounge and he was standing by the window looking out like he was making the biggest decision of his life.

Like this was like a decision of like great, great moral conundrum here, you know, like this is, you know, and he said, I'm going to give you An A. And I remember he said, but you better win Miss Georgia. I will never forget it. He goes, but you better win Miss Georgia. I did. So thank you, Dr. Hooks. You did it.

For fudging the grade. But I negotiated it. I think I had to do like a little paper or something, turn something in. Yeah, this was before AI. Anyway, so I'm just saying, here we go. I get home. Blanton is not doing any of his work. I mean, we're in basketball season in Tennessee and and soccer season.

So we got three. I mean, it's crazy. I lost everything. I had a I had a Burger King bag because I had gotten everybody dinner because, you know, I live my life on the run and we were out of factor meals. And so I had Burger King bag. I, I took that Burger King bag full of God knows what, and I hurled that bang across the room.

It hit my wall, and I told everybody I'm moving out. I'm getting my own apartment. And I'm done with him. And all three of them were like this.

So do you, do you think they said they were sorry? No, this is the text I get. So after my son had to leave after, after this happened, my son had to get out and leave and go to soccer practice. And so it was like. 

Zac Miller: Wait, Blanton did or Beau? 

Kim Gravel: Beau, but they were all three there. They all got the wrath of mom, but Beau had to go, you know, they know when to get out of Dodge.

So he grabbed his keys. He left. This was at six. So this was like happening like at 615, 636. He's at the school. This is the text I get. You ready for this? Can someone come take my car to the gas station and get some gas while I'm at soccer and drop it back off at school, please?

I'm gonna read that again for those of you who weren't listening. Can someone grab my car at the school while I'm at soccer practice and take it to the gas station and get some gas and drop it back off at the school please? 

Zac Miller: What was your response? 

Kim Gravel: I did not answer. I did not answer. At 6:55 did anyone get my car?

Zac Miller: And so this is to you and Travis. 

Kim Gravel: Mm hmm. But this is just to me. You think Travis is gonna do that? It's just to me. No response. Hey, and also, since you threw the Burger King bag across the, since you threw the, he misspelled it, since you threw the Burger King bag across the room, can I order myself something really small, please, from DoorDash?

I haven't eaten all day.

I mean, and then I texted him, I texted him, this is how I ended it. Are you a complete idiot? Question mark. And I had no response. 

Zac Miller: You even do that? Like on his birthday? Who does that? Who is doing that?

Kim Gravel: I'm going to tell you something else. Are there 16 year olds? They will all take, like Beau and Travis, they'll all take the car that's filled up with gas.

Zac Miller: Backstory, everybody. Let's just take a step back for a second. Kim, there's like a little piece of equipment that's this big that Kim has to plug into the podcast studio to make it work better and it's in the car. My car. And Kim goes, I'm sorry, I didn't bring it because Travis took my car because it had more gas in it.

And I was like, who does that? Is there no gas stations around in Atlanta? What's going on? 

Kim Gravel: I don't know. I don't know. 

Zac Miller: But that isn't Mad Max. 

Kim Gravel: We're not siphoning off gas. Well, I will tell you, let me be honest to God. Travis is so cheap though, y'all. I'm serious. That he will go and just put like 10 in.

Yeah, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Like, he's that person. Like, when we go eat at restaurants, we all get water and we get one soda and share it. I'm trying to think what else is it. So, oh God, oh God, I got one better for you. I got one better for you. Stay with me, people. Stay with me. He, in the summers, rolls down the windows and does not run the air because he says it burns more gas.

As energy efficient as cars are today. 

Zac Miller: Okay, I actually think, so I think there's, there's a certain speed limit. No, no, there's a speed at which that's no longer true. It's like 45 miles an hour. And 

Kim Gravel: it's not true, period, Zac. You're saving half of pennies. That is the most ridiculous. I'm sweating like Bertha at the beach.

And we, and he is trying to save two cents on gas. And so he'll pull in. Okay. I do think that's true. He's so good with money. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not beating him down. I'm just saying, I know a good thing when I see it. He's a good man. I'm just saying when we pull into the gas station, it's like, and it's like two seconds.

And he comes back and gets back in the car and here we go. And I'm like, Did you fill the car up? He goes, Oh, no, I only put like 10 and we'll get some later. And you know why he's done that? Because it's 3. 86 here, right here at this gas station. And he knows three miles down the road is 10 cents less. 

Zac Miller: Kim, it's like 4.50 here in California. We, we pay. 

Kim Gravel: Oh, well, he wouldn't put the 2 or 3 in to get you back and forth to your house then for if we live there. So this is why I wanted to do this episode today. Right. Because. My kids do not know a good thing when they see it. 

Zac Miller: They don't need to know how to read a room. Like, you know, when there's Burger King on the wall of the room, you can't read a room.

Kim Gravel: But does it say I'm sorry? Does it say my, says can I come get his car while he is at soccer practice, fill it up with gas, and return the car back to him? And then, since I threw the food across the room, can he go door dashing or something? I'm gonna tell you something. People do not know good things when they see it.

And let me tell you something, my kids and my husband's got a good thing. Okay, and that I think is a big, huge problem in today's world. And the great thing about it is I've talked to several people, like I always like I'm careful because I'm like, should I tell people that I'm crazy and I lose it and tell my kids I'm moving out and I'm getting my apartment.

And then I mentioned that on a call that we had, you know, we're launching jewelry. So the whole team all over, you know. The United States of America are on this call, and every single woman goes, Oh, yeah, I did that last week. And I thought, Okay, okay. So every woman is out there either in their head or verbally saying to their their families, I'm getting ready to leave you.

Okay, because you ain't seeing what's good here. Because honestly, Zac, it is hard out here for a working mom, wife, caretaker, chick woman. 

Zac Miller: Did you know that? Yeah, it is hard for a working mom, wife, caretaker, chick woman. 

Kim Gravel: Good for you. And good for you for saying that. But you live with three women. 

Zac Miller: But for real, no, let me, let me really respond because I do think it's really hard and I, I had no idea.

Like, let me put it this way. I thought like I worked really hard. Like when I worked in TV and in production, and then I had a kid and I was like, Oh, I've never been more tired. I've never been more stressed. I've never been like, it's just like, you know, 

Kim Gravel: okay, let me ask you this. Are you 50 50? 

Zac Miller: No. And it's not because it's never 50 50.

I mean, 

Kim Gravel: I know. Okay, but let's not no preface. Does she work harder with the kids than you do? Yes or no? Nope. Nope. Okay. Rapid fire. Spit it out. Okay. 

Zac Miller: Yes. Okay. Okay. But I try really hard. 

Kim Gravel: And I can tell you, the mental load, the mental load, 

Zac Miller: Yeah, she's got the mental load. And that's like, there's just so much of the like day to day keeping the family alive, right?

And like, my kids are all younger, right? So they're not like trying to text Postmates or whatever, but like, just, just feeding your kids. Like my kids won't eat. My, I don't know what your kids are like, you know, I don't know what they're like when they were little. 

Kim Gravel: They'll get there. Oh, my kids, that's all they do is eat.

That's all. Like my factory meals. I don't lie. When I say that they come and steal them. I mean, I go and get one for lunch. It's gone. I'm like, who ate my chicken? It's so funny. Yeah, and then they'll put it underneath their beds like it'll be like old food and uh huh. Oh, yeah There was a half eaten watermelon bowl.

Like there was cut up watermelon in a bowl Okay, you know and it cost 42 for that, you know to get it cut up like, you know Especially in the winter. I mean, you know watermelon in the winter is like 772. Okay. So it was it had a couple of pieces in it and it was sitting Inside the bathtub, 

Zac Miller: I mean, was there a bottle of vodka out of it?

Because

Kim Gravel: I don't know, you know, there was no, there was no alcohol involved. I'm just saying like, are you just sitting there in a leisurely tub eating watermelon? I just, I'm just saying like being a mom is so tough. And then I ask about it and they're like, what? But the fact that my son said to me. Can you go fill up my car with gas when I'm at soccer practice and drop it back off?

Just like, why would I not do that for him? This is what I'm talking about. 

Zac Miller: How do you, wait, but what did you follow that up with? Like what, when he got home and you actually saw him. Just never, just never even. 

Kim Gravel: I just, the last text I sent him is, are you a complete idiot? That was my text. 

Zac Miller: And then, so he, he knew he's not going to bring that up.

Kim Gravel: He knew. I'm being an idiot. So this is, this is the thing though. I say to my kids all the time, like I, we, we're a very verbal family and by verbal, I mean, we will fight toe to toe. Okay. You know, my family, you know, I have always taught my kids to challenge authority. Just don't believe everything you hear, have your own thoughts.

And so some of this mess is coming back to me. Okay. Well, cause around goes around. But. I wanted to talk about how to know something is good when you see it, because I think a lot of people are dissatisfied with their lives or a little bit delusional, like Beau was about taking his car to get gas in it, because what they're looking at, they're not recognizing how good they've got it.

And there is this quote that really hit me hard. You know, I have my quiet times every morning, y'all. And I really, I really encourage everybody to do that. Cause when I miss it, I messed up. I'm serious. Like when, when I do this and get, and get centered every day, it really helps. And you know, I, I just, I pray and ask the Lord to show me what I need to do and what have you, but, This quote hit me from a little reading.

I was reading one morning. It says, it's not what you look at that matters. It's what you see. Henry David Thoreau. It's not what you look at that matters. It is what you see. And the difference of this, to me, what we look at and what we see is between the senses of seeing, you know, and perception. It's not what You know, senses provide like data, like, like they're, they're taking it in, like I'm sitting there taking in my kids, taking advantage of me and my family taking advantage of me, and I know a lot of women that feel this way, okay, they just, you know, the senses provide facts, but they don't truly allow us to perceive or, or, you know, experience Necessarily what we're seeing.

Does that make sense? 

Zac Miller: Makes me think so much of like, just the, the stuff that we, that, the beauty around us that we miss. You, you see the beautiful view and then you see it every day, and then you stop seeing it. Right? 

Kim Gravel: But, but, but we, and also we're such a.

data driven world now. I'm telling you, y'all, y'all, this is deep. So stay with me. We're such a data driven world with AI and text and even TikToks and all this. They're just, they're just, it's so taking in information. Let's say you look at an azalea plant that's blooming and you say, Oh, those are pretty color flowers.

That's a great stem. Oh, they must be feeding it. You go through, we go through all the data first and we've skipped. Oh my gosh, that's so beautiful. Look at those volumes. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, we don't look at, we don't perceive it, we just sense it. And y'all perception, everything. Okay, okay, follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me.

You know how I talk about Beau and the basketball journey of Bo? It's so hilarious, I swear. I swear you would think that this kid is, it, basketball is about to just kill us, because it's been like this Achilles heel, but yet the most amazing thing. Good experience. It's the weirdest thing. Okay, so like here we go.

Know a good thing when you see it. So, We just the season just ended thank God and We we were we were playing some games and he rides the bench a lot. You know, he's a junior You know, he's five eight and a half. He's he's not the tallest kid on the team by far um My son is thick. He's, he's, he's built.

You know what I'm saying? Like, he's, he's solid. He's not at all skinny. You know what I'm saying? He's not the typical looking basketball player. He set the bench most of the season. I mean, he got in, he did great. I mean, he was amazing. I'm so proud of him. It was the night before the region basketball games.

And he comes in, he drops his stuff, he sits on the steps, and he says, I'm done with basketball. I'm not playing this summer. I'm not playing my senior year. I'm just done. I'm not wasting my time. I'm not doing it. And for once in my life, cause I don't like to see him quit anything or anybody quit anything.

Unless you know that you know, and that's another podcast, but I'm getting to the where it's a good thing. Know a good thing when you see it. And I said, son, first, first of all, I didn't preach. And you normally, I do the whole preaching thing. God's got something special and he's using it. I didn't do any of that.

Cause he's tapped out. Right. I didn't do that. I didn't do that. I don't blame you. I said, the coach doesn't see your talent. You've given it all this year. You play varsity, you know, you've done the best you could. It's time to take off your uniform, turn it in. I totally agree with you. And so we, we both exhaled, right?

We felt good about it. And the family, Travis was like, son, we support you in whatever you want to do. Normally we wouldn't do that, Zac. Normally we'd say, you're going to stick it out. You'd push. So the next day was the big game, region game from LCA, BCA versus LCA, Bethlehem Christian and Loganville Christian Academy.

I mean, they're big rivals, right? So, and we played at LCA. We played at their home gym. Well, Travis and I couldn't go. We're working again. We're launching jewelry and launching everything else. So we're working and we know he ain't gonna get no playing time. You know, it's a region match. I mean, region game.

So he ain't gonna get no playing time. So, the game's going on. I'm not even thinking about it. And I get this text from my friend Amanda and she says, Beau got in. He's lighting it up. Like he was popping off threes. Now keep in mind, this team 20 or 30 points every time they played us before. The region. The region.

Yeah, this is a region game, and Beau and the team got him down to where they were only losing by six, and he'd take Beau and a couple other guys out, the bench guys out, and they'd go back up in points, and they'd put Beau and the bench guys back in, and they'd cut the, they'd cut the score down, and, and so on and so forth.

And I say all that not because Beau is this amazing NBA future star. I'm saying, When he got done and he got home, like everyone was like, Oh, well, it's killing like Beau just came alive, you know, I had a great game and he said to me, Wow, Mom, maybe God is telling me I don't need to quit basketball after that game.

So when I say to you, whatever you're going through, whatever your basketball game sit in the benches for you, sometimes it's not. We're looking at sitting the bench and we're not looking at preparing for the opportunity when we get in the game. Sometimes God has us sit on the bench so that when we do get that moment, we can really see it and seize it.

My sons and my husband, they took for granted that oh, mom's going to get the food, she's going to fill our cars up with gas, she's going to do everything for us. That they couldn't see how blessed they are to have me.

That's what I'm trying to tell you. Your circumstance, bad, good, or indifferent, is a good thing if you're looking at it properly. Instead of just sensing it and experiencing the data of what's going on, you perceive it. You take it in.

Zac Miller: How do you take a step back? Because it's so easy to get stuck. I know for me, right? I get stuck in like an optimizing sort of mindset where I'm like, 

Kim Gravel: you're a data person. You're a data person. 

Zac Miller: So, I, I get stuck in this, in this, like, I, I need to optimize. I need it to go, like, if this goes well and, you know, I need to do this in order for my kids to do this or for whatever, right?

Yes. Yes. And it's so easy to get stuck in that. And like, so, okay. So, for instance, for me, like, we just bought a house, which is like a huge deal. It's great. Um. It's beautiful. But it's super stressful. Right? Right. Right. We're, we're. Like, there's house painters there right now and we have to move and there's just like a lot of moving parts and I was just feeling so stressed and so overwhelmed and then all of a sudden I just had this thought and I was like, we get to move into this great house, like why am I feeling so bad?

Why am I turning thing? A bad thing into a good thing into a bad thing 

Kim Gravel: because you're sensing instead of perceiving perception. I want to look up the word perception because to me, perception is, is the unseen things, right? And the unseen of it all is so much more important than just what you see. That's, that's, that's what I'm trying to tell Beau.

Like, he just thought this is it. My coach doesn't believe me. I'm sitting on the bench the whole time. I'm never going to play basketball again. I'm just kidding. Cause if he's the coach next year, I'm not going to play, but he didn't take into account that the things that you can't see. Which is might be other coaches fighting for you, or I used to tell him, I said, son, if, if God wants you to play basketball, he will sit people out to make way for you to play basketball.

Okay. Sensing is I'm looking from what I can see out of my eye. I'm talking about looking at it from your mind's eye.

Life needs to be perceived and then sensed. To perceive is to attain that awareness or understanding when you are just seeing with your, with your, with your physical eyes, you're just, your mind is computing data. Okay, that's, that's what I was just trying, I was trying to tell Beau. You've got to live in the perception of it all.

You've got to become aware or conscious of what's really going on through sitting the bench. You've Like everything is trying to teach you something. When we take in the world around us, this is something I learned. I'm telling you, and I say my flesh, which I mean, things that I can do with this body.

Okay. Which is see you, hear you taste. my factory meals, or a Burger King milkshake, whichever one comes up. Uh, and you know, that is, that is the physical world. That's my flesh. When I'm perceiving, I'm taking it in.

I am becoming aware. And I remember some, you know, I think it was Maya Angelou says, you know better, you do better. Knowing is just not computing data. Knowing is having that sense of What something really is and really means in your life. Do you know? a good thing when you see it. Not see it, perceive it.

I can't tell you how, I mean, I could tell you story after story where I'm sitting there. I have developed this muscle of perception so much in my life. And I, and it's all in this book. Like I talk about this in this book all the time about perception, perception. It's how you're looking at it. It's not what you're looking at.

It's how you're looking at it. And we hear about that on, you know, TikTok memes and like, just change the way you look at it. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about. Really flexing that perception muscle because a lot of times, bad behavior like, like with Blanton and him just not turning in his papers.

Is he lazy? Is he a teenager? But something deeper is going on that he has lost his motivation to try. There's something, if I'm just a mom going, turn in your papers, that's just, that's sensing. It's not going to work. Yeah, it's not going to work. There's something deeper going on with him that is causing him to check out.

And as a mother, and as a, a woman, and as somebody who's really developed that perception muscle, that's what we got to figure out what's going on. And I'm saying that to you, like, if you've got a problem, it's bigger than what you're seeing. If you've got a financial issue going on right now, it's more than just what you're spending.

Oh, that ain't your real problem. That's just the data in data out. It's just like with me when I lost my weight, Zac, everybody's like, what did you do? What did you do? I'm telling you what I did. I started looking at it, perceiving it differently.

Zac Miller: Is it so, you know, just going back to this idea of like knowing a good thing when you have it, I think you see it. When you see it. 

Kim Gravel: Mm hmm. 

Zac Miller: It's so hard to, this is like a You know, it's like count your blessings, right? It's, it's hard to do. It takes work to do. Is that what you're sort of like getting at?

Is that what you're, and is that part of your morning practice? Like, do you do that? Do you intentionally, do you, do you intentionally do that in the morning? 

Kim Gravel: Not most. Okay. Because look, When it comes down to it, I ain't got no time for all of that, that deep thinking every day, okay? Like, I'm one of, I mean, look, look, I just threw a Burger King bag across the room, you know, with anger.

So clearly, I'm not pursuing too much, but anger. But I just, what I, what this means is, it really is just taking a beat and looking at something in your life. Listen to me. There's something in your life right now that A, you're not happy with, B, you want to change, or C, you can't figure out what's going on.

There's confusion. Okay? I want you to do me a favor. I want you to stop and think about this problem. How it came to be. What it makes you feel like. What you see in it. You know, like Beau never saw him ever, Beau never saw himself getting off of that bench. He wanted to quit. What if he had? What if he had? What if he had and not done it?

What is that in your life? Where are you sitting the bench in your life right now?

And either you can't do anything about it, or you don't do anything about it. What is that thing for you right now? Think about it.

And I'm here to tell you, there's comfort in that problem. We like easy. Getting data is very easy today.

Changing the trajectory and the perception of our life It's hard or it feels like it's hard

and we, we have, and I love this Zac, we have this crumb mentality, this scarcity mindset that we look at something in the physical and saying, I'm never going to be able to do that both looked at the physical and even looked at what had been happening over the past two months and said, I'm a bench player.

I'm quitting. And he had it because he didn't have the belief that it was ever going to change. What if we were to change it while we're sitting on the bench? What would happen if we did that? That's how I lost all my weight. I didn't lose a little weight and go, okay, I'm on this. I'm changing. I changed the perception.

I'm like, I'm looking at this 30 pounds, like it is like insurmountable. I'm going to just change how I think about it. I started saying, oh my God, I'm losing weight. I'm losing weight like crazy. As I'm eating a Big Mac. Oh my God, I'm losing weight like crazy. I'm just saying like, I changed the way I looked at the 30 pounds, how I perceived my weight.

And my body followed.

Zac Miller: I heard so many, I, I've heard so many stories like that, Kim, of, like, you, you do it. Or you believe it, and then it happens. Like, you can't Right, that's faith. That's faith. The only thing holding you back is it. Can I, can I ask you a question? Because this is actually something I struggled with with my kids.

My, my six year old is very just obsessed with like getting treats, right? Like getting chocolate, getting candy, like whatever.

Kim Gravel: I love a treat. Yes. And Girl after my own heart. 

Zac Miller: Jeez. The problem is that, like, whenever we do give her something, she just wants more. And she always turns the good thing into a bad thing.

Like, we give her something. We give her a treat. And then she's upset every time. She's more upset having gotten the good thing.

Kim Gravel: But why do you think that is? 

Zac Miller: There's always a reason to feel like you're not getting enough, right? 

Kim Gravel: Right. Why? Why is that? 

Zac Miller: I don't know, Kim. I, like, I'm trying 

Kim Gravel: If you did know what it was, what would it be?

Zac Miller: Good question. I think it, this is, it's, again, it just goes back to, like, I'm not focused on right now. I'm focused on what I'm not getting in the future. I'm focused on what I am, like, perceiving as, uh, like a problem. 

Kim Gravel: We are afraid The blessings are going to run out. It's a scarcity mindset. I love this. My husband says this all the time.

Like, cause he coaches tennis and, and, and the team sometimes backs, everybody backs by, you know, is competitive with each other on the same team and stuff. And it's like, Travis always says people think there are only a couple of blessings out there. We only think there are a couple of jobs or just a couple of seats at the table.

We only think that there's only a certain amount of money. And think of money as a perfect example of this. Oh my gosh, I can't believe I didn't say this before. I have been saying my whole entire, well, my whole entire adult life, money comes easily and freely to me. I mean, let's do it this way. Let's answer this question.

Zac. What is money? What is money? 

Zac Miller: Pieces of paper. That honestly have no meaning except we give them meaning. 

Kim Gravel: Money is a perception.

Zac Miller: Well, value. Okay, wait, wait, let's take a step back though. Because money has value because we give it value. Because we've all decided that it's worth a certain amount. And like, you know, we, and then we all feel bad when, you Travis feels bad when he goes to the gas station and the gas he bought last week for 2 is 3 now and that feels bad because we feel like the value like we're getting, you know, a raw deal and that's why inflation feels so bad and that's why, you know, people have so much trouble with money, but they also, you know, you want to use money to get what you want.

But if you just keep using it and using it and using it, then you're never going to find what you want because you're just, you're always chasing. 

Kim Gravel: The Bible says, people say money is the root of all evil. No, it's not. No, it's not. That's not what the Bible says. The Bible says the love of money is the root of all evil.

When you, and that's perception, when you are looking at money like it can fix you, make you, break you, or take you, you're giving the money the power. What if you looked at money like it comes easily and freely to me to be able to do all the beautiful things in life that I want and can bless other people with?

That's what I'm talking about. That shift of perception of what money is. That shift of perception of what weight loss is. That shift of perception. It's, when I'm saying do you know a good thing when you see it, I'm not saying see, I'm saying see. Change what you're looking through. Don't look through it through your eyes, look through it through your soul.

Like, Beau played a fourth of what his teammates played, a lot of his teammates played on the basketball. But the last few games, he scored as many points that he has the highest score per minute on the whole entire team, of minutes played on the entire team. So does it really matter that he played a fourth?

Every single game, or is he perceived now is this, Oh my God, where did Beau come from? Do you see him saying? Maybe. He was allowed to be held back so that at the right time he could be lifted up. Guess what's happening to you? You might be stuck on pause or stuck on red in your life because he's preparing either you or that thing for you.

Change the way you're looking at your life. You got a good life. Do you see it? Do you know a good thing when you see it? Oh, I didn't. I didn't for the longest. Let me tell y'all something, with this Bell's Palsy, I used to dread putting on my makeup, and I would just smile, and then I'd take pictures, and then I'd be like, oh my God, I look fat, I look terrible.

Look at my face, look at this. Y'all, with this Bell's Palsy, I would give my right breast to have my smile back right now. Wow, I did not know a good thing when I saw it. 

Zac Miller: Yeah, that's the, you don't know a good thing till it's gone. Like just, yeah, just health. Just health. Just being, just health, you know, able to be healthy.

Kim Gravel: But, but that, but, but what I wanna tell you, like I'm saying this to, to encourage everyone listening, you have everything you need right now to do everything you are called to do. You do. But can you really see it? Change what you're looking at, and change how you're looking at it. Because I promise you, there is so much more for you than you will ever know.

If you knew, you would, you would change it instantly. Instantly. You would, you'd be like, oh my gosh, is this coming for me? You'd change, that, that, that's my point. If you knew what was coming for you, all the good things that were coming for you, wouldn't you change how you felt about what you're in right now?

Yeah. 

Zac Miller: You'd say I can get through this because I know that it's, I know that's coming. I know that good things are coming. 

Kim Gravel: The good things are coming.

All right. We're back. And I have been loving these voicemails from you guys. So please call us. Get leave us a voicemail. You can, uh, I'd love to hear from you. Um. I just love you. That's the truth. I just love each and every one of you listening and I mean that from the bottom of my heart, you know, I do know a good thing when I see it and it's y'all listening.

Okay. 

Listener Voicemail: Hi Kim. My name is Sonia Scott. I thought you would get a kick out of something that happened to me recently. I woke up in the morning and my husband said to me, 

What is triple lex?

He said yeah, you were talking about triple lux in your sleep. I said you're kidding. What what did I say? He said you said it's triple lux y'all. Now the reason this is so funny is I don't talk like that. I live in Beverly Hills. I don't have the southern accent. I never say y'all and I, I thought it was just hysterical, but I had just got a pair of jeans, triple X and I love them and I guess it was on my mind and I, I just thought you'd get a kick out of that. But here's what, here's what I really want to say to you. I am so proud of you. I know this may sound stupid, but What I think is so wonderful is I watch you, I've watched you from the beginning, and you don't have to push so much anymore. You don't have to sell so hard anymore. 

You know that we have your back. You know that we love you. And you know, you, you listen to somebody long enough, you begin to see their humanity. And we all see that with you, Kim, and it's really thrilling to see the effect that you've made. I know what you've been going through recently. You're so brave. I'm a cancer survivor. I know what it's like to have something in your, on your body that's not right and that you feel uncomfortable with.

And you just. You know, the spell policy stuff, you've handled it with such grace. And I just, I just want to say, I hope you know how much we all love you and respect 

you. And, and as I say, we have your back and I hope you take a lot of comfort in that. Um, okay, honey. Have a great day. I, I, I. I'm so thrilled that I got to leave you this message.

Bye. 

Kim Gravel: Oh, talk about knowing a good thing when you see it. Do you see what I'm saying, Zac? Yeah, I know. You think you're out here on your own, and you're struggling through, and then you get support, friendships, community like that. Like, that, I can't tell you what that message just meant to me. And the fact that she is talking about triple lux and saying y'all in her dreams tells me.

Zac Miller: It's like you're, you're in her head. 

Kim Gravel: Her perception radar is high. But when she said, we see your humanity. See, that's a woman who's not seeing, but she's seeing, do you see what I'm saying? It's the perfect way to close out this episode. She is so perceptive. Even to the point, she's like, you don't have to sell so hard.

We've got your back. Do you see what I'm saying? She's seeing it with her mind's eye, with her heart. That is what I'm talking about. That is how we want to look at life. So your life, start looking at it. and perceiving it and seeing it that way. Wow. Wow. I love you, girl. 

Zac Miller: Wow. I love you want to hear your voice on the show, give us a call.

Leave us voicemails. We love them. All right. We will pick a new one every single episode. The number is 404. 9 1 3 6 4 6 0. So leave us a voicemail. Give us a call. Send us a message. We want to hear from you. 

Kim Gravel: We want to hear from you. This is a community. I'm telling you. Ah, she said, we see your humanity.

Good Lord, Zac. 

Zac Miller: Okay, we can't yet. We can't inject him because we have to do an audience rapid fire question. This is becoming like my favorite thing. Cause I just, are people really answering Zac? Are they answering it? Getting it? I, we, I wrote some answers. I wrote some answers for us. We're going to go through them.

So check it out. Check it out. So, here's, here's the rapid fire question. Kim, read, read that, read the question. 

Kim Gravel: Okay. So this, I ask every guest this question and now I want to hear from you. Who is your celebrity crush? I want you to drop a comment with just your answer. Or if you're on QVC Plus or a platform that doesn't allow commenting, then head on over to the Kim Gravel Show.

That's KimGravelShow.Com and send me a comment with your answer. Okay, who is your celebrity crush? 

Zac Miller: Okay. And so, all right, so we asked, right, like for a few episodes ago, okay, what is your guilty pleasure? Okay. And you just started listing off like so many. And so I just like, these are so funny. Do you want to read these, Kim?

These are so funny. 

Kim Gravel: Okay. Let me see. It was like four people said online shopping. Can I just say me and my phone at like 1130 at night. It's not Travis approved. Okay. Three people said watching Hallmark movies, but one added and doughnuts. Oh, that's a good combo. Hallmark. Hallmark. I secretly have a desire to be in a Hallmark movie.

And I don't want to be the one that falls in love. I want to be that girl maybe who owns a boutique or a bakery that says, and she, she pulls up a chair. I'm like, honey, don't give away the milk. Don't. Let me say this again. I'm going to say this. And I'm going to be, I know. I'm going to be, I'm going to be that girl.

Zac, I'm telling you, I want to be in a Hallmark movie. I want to be like, like in a bakery or a thing where people just pull up a chair and I'm that person that says, why buy the cow? Why is he going to buy the cow if he can get the milk for free? You know, does all these, okay. 

Zac Miller: You want to be like the southern?

You want to be like the southern auntie who's like, yeah, got the wisdom, 

Kim Gravel: the auntie, like one liners and then just, you know, whatever. So all right. 

Zac Miller: Hollywood Hallmark channel. Here we go. Call me. Call Kim. Call Kim. Call Kim. 

Kim Gravel: I'm cheap and easy. Okay, we got it. We also had, uh, I love this. A hostess refrigerated Ringding?

Ringding. I thought they were called ho hos. 

Zac Miller: No, I looked this up because I was like, did she mean like ding dong? No, she meant ringding. 

Kim Gravel: Ringding. Ringding. It's a round thing with like a cream filling in it, isn't it? 

Zac Miller: It's delicious. And I think it's delicious refrigerated too. 

Kim Gravel: I've never thought about, I've never thought about refrigerating because I like the zingers.

Have you seen the zingers? They're like the devil's food cake. Oh God. 

Zac Miller: I've never had a zinger. I, I have had. I've never thought about refrigerating it. Okay, everything's better like if you put do you put candy bars in the freezer Kim cuz like 

Kim Gravel: honey I put can run freezer break break my teeth off got crack up.

There's my crown. Okay, here we go buying wreath supplies Can I say I relate to that too? I've got more hot glue guns And the police have regular guns. 

Zac Miller: Okay. And as someone that's been to Kim's house, like, I could co sign that. 

Kim Gravel: Yes. Yes. I have more hot glow guns than the hunt club down here at the Moose Lodge has.

Okay. One, uh, one person said facials. Agreed. Guilty pleasure. That should not even be a, that should not be a guilty pleasure. That should be a, a, a self care thing. 

Zac Miller: I agree. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. 

Kim Gravel: Okay. So really please go. Who's your celebrity crush? That's the rapid fire question this week.

Go and leave your, you know, comments, just, just getting ahead of that. Who is your celebrity crush? 

Zac Miller: Ooh, you know, okay, so this is someone that I was just thinking about because she actually just I had the biggest crush on Scarlett Johansson. 

Kim Gravel: Johansson. 

She's and she is gorgeous inside and out. Good one.

Good one. 

Zac Miller: Yeah, that's that's big. 

Kim Gravel: Yeah, I'm gonna leave you with Keanu Reeves. Okay, he's my good one. He's a little he doesn't He doesn't bathe, but look, I'm used to that with my kids. 

Zac Miller: So have you seen how there's like this like thing online? If you look up Keanu Reeves, taking pictures with people like he never actually touches anyone.

He puts his hand out like this and he like behind their backs and you can see his whole hand. Have you seen that, Kim? 

Kim Gravel: I bet he didn't think people were trying to feel him up. 

Zac Miller: Yeah, he wants to like be like, No, no, I didn't. I didn't touch that person. Yeah, 

Kim Gravel: but I might just step back and go, Oh, excuse me. 

Zac Miller: So you're going to sexually harass him is what you're saying.

That's 

Kim Gravel: Keanu. You're, you're safe with me, honey. You're totally the last thing I want after this week is another man. Okay. Thank y'all for listening. If you like this episode, then share it with somebody. Uh, and y'all, I just launched a brand new jury lines. Got someone right now. That's a jury. I think I said jewelry.

Zac Miller: You're in jewelry line. 

Kim Gravel: Jewelry. Let's, that's how we say it in the South. Jewelry. Uh, I just launched a brand new jewelry line. So, I want you to check it out, go to LWYA.com Just, you know, get on there and email us and tell us, you know, what you got going on. We love you. All right.

Till next week, y'all remember, know a good thing, honey, when you see it. Bye y'all. 

Zac Miller: Bye.

Kim Gravel: The Kim Gravel Show is produced and edited by Zac Miller at Uncommon Audio. Our associate producer is Kathleen Grant, the Brunette Exec. Production help from Emily Bredin and Sara Noto. Our cover art is designed by Sanaz Huber at Memarian Creative, and Mike Kligerman edits the show.Our guest booking is done by Central Talent Booking. And a special thanks to the team at QVC. Head over to kimgravelshow.com and sign up for our mailing list. Again, we can't do this without you. So thank you for listening and we love you.