How Embracing Your Self-Worth Leads To Unstoppable Success with Jamie Kern Lima

*This transcript was auto-generated*

Kim:

This episode is brought to you by Gen Z Slang. Talking to your kids can be so frustrating, annoying, and downright confusing, y'all. I don't understand half the words that come out of my kids mouths, but here at the Kim gravel show, we spent over a thousand hours researching cutting edge language trends. So now you'll be able to understand what the heck your kids are talking about. I have it all right here. Flats means cool, riz means charisma. It's sending me is the new laugh out loud. The new lol.

Kim:

Dulu means delusional. That sounds about right. And sus means suspicious. Oh, lord, I'm confused right now. My brain isn't brain. That means I'm confused. And I don't. Don't even get me started on the emojis, y'all.

Kim:

Okay, y'all, I find this all very Susan, because these kids are Dululu, and my brain isn't braining on any of this. So let's just start the show. And by the way, y'all are red.

Introduction:

This is The Kim Gravel Show.

Kim:

Jamie Kern Lima is here.

Jamie Kern Lima:

80% of women do not believe they're.

Kim:

Enough, and I think that's low.

Jamie Kern Lima:

My self doubt was so loud.

Kim:

Tell me how you fought back those insecurities.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And when we don't believe we are enough, here's how it shows up in our lives.

Kim:

You gotta say that again and do it slow. Cause that's deep.

Jamie Kern Lima:

For 40 years, I was waiting on my weight. So, see, there are good things that come out of junk food. Here's what's wild, Kim. I'm gonna jump out of my chair right now. This is not gonna make any sense. You really want me to be really, really honest?

Kim:

Total, 1000% raw this week. I have a great show for you. I'm so excited because my dear friend Jamie Kern Lima is here, and she has a brand new book that just came out last week, and I cannot wait to talk about it with her. It's called worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life. Before we get to Jamie, I want to say that it's so important to me that you watching and listening right now feel like you're part of the show and part of this love, who you are, community that I'm building, y'all. It's so powerful. So this week, I'm doing a listener rapid fire question where you'll have a chance to answer a question. Mm hmm.

Kim:

I'm putting you in the hot seat. And after the interview, I have an inspiring listener voicemail. That I want to share with you because I want to hear from you. So you call us, you message us, and tell me about what you love about who you are. That's all I want you to do. Let me know what you love about who you are. But before we get to all that, I need to introduce my powerhouse guest. She is the founder of it Cosmetics, a billion dollar brand that she started in her living room.

Kim:

She's a New York Times bestselling author. She has a new podcast coming out, a new book coming out, and she is busier than all get up, I'm telling you. Welcome to the Kim Gravel show.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I love it. I am so grateful to be here. Thank you so much for having me, Kim.

Kim:

I am so excited. I have been waiting for this. Jamie, I think we've been trying to connect and be on this podcast for over a couple of years, and I'm so glad you're here. I'm so excited about your book. But can we. Let's rewind a hot minute because you started it cosmetics. I know you from it cosmetics. Cause I used to watch QVC before I was even on QVC.

Kim:

I bought it cosmetics back in the day, girl. And you started in your living room. And I love this story. How did you have the confidence or the belief in yourself enough to even start it?

Jamie Kern Lima:

Oh, my goodness. Well, for a long time, I didn't, right? For a long time, I had way more self doubt than I had self belief. And, you know, it's for anyone who is listening to you and me right now, who's like, oh, I have this idea. Or maybe they want to put their art out into the world, or they want to get on the dating app, or they like, don't let your doubt, doubt yourself out of your own destiny. Because for me, Kim, like most of my life, I mean, a lot of people, maybe if they know of the story that cosmetics, or if they read kind of what the press shares, which is like, denny's waitress builds billion dollar company, it's easy to think like, oh, that person must just be so confident. It must have just been easy. But it was really what a lot of people don't know. I know, you know, this is my friend, but a lot of people don't know that the journey was just filled with hundreds and hundreds of no's and rejection along the way.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And then for me, from the time I had the idea frit cosmetics, it actually started in a big season of setback and self doubt in my life. And what I know and believe is that so often our setbacks, even though they suck and they don't make sense at the time, and they're painful, and we never want to go through them, so often, our setbacks are actually God's setups, right? For what we're called to do or for some strength we're supposed to build so that we can carry the weight of our success later. But I was anchoring the news and had worked all the jobs to get there. And I thought, one day I'm going to host a talk show. That was my lifelong dream since the time I was a little girl. So I had done all the jobs, waitressing, bagging groceries, trying to make it to school, and eventually was in small market news, moved my way up, and I was anchoring the news in Portland, Oregon. And, you know, I have hereditary Rosacea. I'd always.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I tried everything for it. Nothing worked. Went to all the dermatologists, and I'd always been able to cover it up, and it wasn't a big deal. And there was one day on the news I was anchoring live, and the makeup would not cover it, and nothing would work. And so I remember spending my whole paycheck at the time just trying to find anything that could work. And I remember having this moment, this moment, this gut feeling. And maybe people listening to you and me right now can relate to this. I had this moment where I was like, what if I could do this? What if I'm supposed to figure out how to? And it was almost this gut feeling or this knowing or this whisper, this still, small voice that's like, I had this idea, what if I could create a makeup brand that worked for me? But then, Kim, my self doubt was so loud.

Jamie Kern Lima:

My thoughts, all of our thoughts in our head are self doubt. That is not who we are. But we all often have this self doubt. And I actually talked myself out of doing it for the longest time, because even though I had this gut feeling, like, what if I should do this? And for everyone listening, it might be a different feeling you have about something in your life. What if I should try this? My head was like, oh, but, Jamie, you got no money. You have no connections. You're not qualified. You don't know anyone in the beauty industry.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And I sat in that place between my intuition or my knowing, or when I get pray and I hear God, that's where I hear it. My intuition telling me I should do it, but my head telling me I should not. And I almost, almost doubted myself out of this, too. It wasn't until one day when I had this deep kind of moment of grace where I realized that if I could launch a brand, you know, that my whole life seeing ads for the last 40 years, I love the beauty ads I had always seen on commercials and in magazines, but they always kind of made me feel like I wasn't enough. And I never saw women that looked like me with skin challenges. And so I had this kind of moment of grace where I was like, well, maybe it's not about figuring out just how to make a good product. What if, you know, I could do it and try to stand for something bigger? What if I could show my rosacea on tv and put women of every age and shape and size and skin tone and skin challenges models and call them beautiful and mean it? And my bigger God sized dream was, what if I could do something to help shift the definition of beauty in the whole beauty industry for every little girl out there who's about to see those, you know, magazine ads and start doubting herself and every grown woman who still does. And that was the moment I decided to go for it and didn't know how hard it was going to be, didn't know it would be years and years and years and years and years of rejections.

Jamie Kern Lima:

But that was the moment I decided to trust that knowing instead of trusting all the no's I was telling myself in my own head. So, yeah, I think those are the moments that change our life when we learn how to trust ourselves. And I think especially, especially as women, we often don't trust ourselves.

Kim:

You're preaching to the choir here, because I totally can relate to everything you're saying. But I love how you have maintained, Jamie, the same messaging. You can tell this is who you are at your core, at your center, at your deepest part of who you are, because this message of worthy that you're talking about, you know, I read believe it. I've got it highlighted. I've got it dog eared. The whole nine yards was such a brilliant way to talk about believing. But now you're talking about this worthiness. I think, really, this is going to be your biggest book ever because I think it's been threaded throughout your entire messaging, even with it.

Kim:

Cosmetics is being. What does worthy mean? What do you mean by we are worthy?

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes. Okay. So, Kim, this. This is the thing for me. I. Most of my entire life, I believe the lie that if I just achieve enough, then I would finally feel enough, right. And I spent decades of my life thinking, right. And what I realized is that our self worth? Underneath it all, our self worth is our ceiling.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Our self worth is our ceiling to almost everything. Because in our relationships and our friendships and our businesses and our goals and dreams, like, we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of.

Kim:

I love that. Say that again, Jamie. You got to say that again and do it slow, because that's deep. That's deep, girl.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yeah. Just for every person listening in your friendships, in your relationships, in your hopes and dreams, in your businesses, in all of it, in our lives, we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of. And when I say our self worth is our ceiling, what that means is. And I'll just break it down for a minute. Cause here's what's wild, Kim. I'm gonna jump out of my chair right now.

Kim:

Do it.

Jamie Kern Lima:

If someone's listening and they're like, well, I always feel like I'm not enough, but I think I'm alone in that. Oh, uh uh. 80% of women do not believe they're.

Kim:

Enough, and I think that's low. I think that's low, Jamie.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I think you're right.

Kim:

Seriously. Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima:

You think it's. I'm serious.

Kim:

I think it's a lot higher than that.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And it's this. When we believe we are not enough, it is a lie. It is a lie. And why I wrote worthy is, it's not about learning all these new things. It's about how do you unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and then sort of ignite those truths that wake up worthiness. Because what I learned through believing the lie, if I just get this next goal or dream, then I'll finally feel enough. You know? And just for everyone listening to kind of put it in perspective in your own life, it's like, if you've ever had one of those big goals or dreams and thought, once I finally get that, then I'm going to be happy, then I'm going to be fulfilled, then I'm going to feel enough. And for some people, that might be, once I get the relationship or the marriage or the kids or the white.

Kim:

Picket fell, oh, Lord, that's not going to happen.

Jamie Kern Lima:

The six pack abs, the goal weights, the fitness goal, the business hitting a certain threshold, the amount of fame, whatever it is, a certain job title or a certain dream job. And for most of us, that we've worked really, really hard, and a lot of us have this experience where we actually get that thing. Maybe it took decades. But we actually get that job title or whatever it might be. We actually, you know, and we get on television, whatever it is, hit a certain social media, following, whatever it might be, we get it. And then we're happy for a minute, and before we know it, we're back to feeling like something's missing and like we're not enough. And so our solution. This was me.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Most of my life. My solution was, I've just got to work harder. I got to achieve the next thing in the next level, and the next level, okay? But in that journey, I was building three things that are very important in life. I was building my confidence, which is so important.

Kim:

So important.

Jamie Kern Lima:

So important. I was growing, which is so important if, you know, there's that famous saying, if we're not growing or dying. And growing can look like growing in your faith or growing in a new skill set. So I was growing, and I was contributing to something bigger than myself. And those three things are great, but none of those actually build your self worth, which is different. And our self worth is that deep, internal just knowing and belief that we are worthy of love and belonging, exactly as we are, not as our past mistakes or failures or regrets, not as whatever our current self perceived inadequacies are, not as our successes, but exactly as we are. And our self worth is our ceiling. And so what that means is, for, you know, if and this was me most of my life, I was achieving stuff on the outside world that looked good.

Jamie Kern Lima:

But inside, I did not believe I was enough. And when we don't believe we are enough, here's how it shows up in our lives. We could be crushing it in one area. We could be, you know, super mom of the year. We could be doing great in our job. We could be so social and have a lot of friends. We could be hitting our fitness goals. But when underneath it all, we don't believe we're enough, it'll show up in certain areas of our life in usually one of three ways.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Either we are stuck. We feel stuck in an area, and we don't know why. Maybe we have, like, we think that we want to share our story with the world and write a book. We know we have a book inside, right? But we haven't written it, and we don't know why. Or we want to find a life partner, but we haven't gotten on the dating app, or we haven't gone out in public or socialized or. And we tell ourselves stories like, oh, I just need more skill sets, more experience, when really, for a lot of us. The underlying thing is we, deep down inside, don't believe we're worthy of the thing. So we stay stuck, and we don't know why.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And that is a big thing.

Kim:

But, Jamie, let me ask you something. Do you think because my mind is going firing on all cylinders right now hearing you talk, I love it, because I totally, you know, I resonate with everything you say. But is it. Is it fear that holds us back, of thinking we're not worthy? What is the thing that stops us from knowing? Cause I think. Don't you think deep down we know there's more we got to or we wouldn't be doubting that we were? Does that make sense? Do you understand what I'm saying? Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes. Yes. So fear. Absolutely. Of the meaning we're attaching to things.

Kim:

That's. Right.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Right. We believe these lies that we do. I go into all of these lies and worthy the book that I've had to unlearn in my life to learn to believe I'm worthy. Right. So for anyone listening right now, give.

Kim:

Me a couple of them. Give me a couple of them.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes. Yes. Here's a few. Your weight determines your worth. And I should wait on my weight to live my best life.

Kim:

Okay. You just stepped on my toes. You just stepped on my toes.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Kim, for 40 years, I was waiting on my weight. And by the way, this is not even a chapter about weight. Cause it does not matter what your weight is. But so many of us, we wait. We hide in the back of the photo. We decline the invitation to the reunion. We don't wear the swimsuit. This was me most of my entire life.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And I talk about how to unlearn that lie. Because when we start thinking about what has waiting on our weight already cost us in our lives, the pain of that is usually far, far more dreadful then whatever judgment we think we're going to get if we stop waiting on our weight to fully put ourselves out there. So that's one of the lies. Another lie I should only be seen when I'm happy. A lot of us hide who we truly are. We hide what we really feel. We show up in the world as our representative, thinking that's what's going to get us love or approval or I do it. Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And on the days when we're just, like, feeling, not that way, not happy, we hide how we are. And every time. By the way, this would be fun to talk about with you later if you want to, but. Cause over the decade, like, oh, my gosh, all the years I was doing shows on QVC and meeting tens of thousands of entrepreneurs and watching the very few who make it. I want to say, it's hard, girl, if you want to.

Kim:

It's hard. No, it's hard. Let's talk about it. Cause it's hard.

Jamie Kern Lima:

There's 20 lies in here to unlearn because they're big, right? If I'm me, I won't be loved. The lie that I don't deserve better in friendships or relationships. So I should just settle. There's so many lies.

Kim:

We'll be right back with more. Jamie Kern, Lima, after a short break. It's hard to be a woman in business. You know, this especially have built what you have built against a lot of, like you said, a lot of rejection. How do you think that we don't step into our destiny or step into our self worth and really realize that because of rejection, you know, because. Speak to that, Jamie. Because rejection is inevitable.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes.

Kim:

That's what I tell my kids. I'm like, girl, dude, you gon be rejected. So you might as well go ahead and accept that. Is it how you handle it? Tell me how you fought back those insecurities and those feelings of worth.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Best question ever.

Kim:

Because fear what you say about it.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Fear of rejection and fear of failure. Oh, my gosh.

Kim:

What is it, girl?

Jamie Kern Lima:

The meaning we assign to those things. And by the way, when we get rejected or failed, it can shake our confidence, which is a big deal. But when we start to believe we're a failure or we're a reject, that is when it takes root at an identity level, and that's when it just takes root in your self worth. So in the book worthy, there is chapter two. And this. Actually, Kim, you'll understand this as a fellow author, I wrote a whole other book called when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your life. And that was going to be my third book. I did not want to wait two and a half years to put that one out later.

Kim:

No.

Jamie Kern Lima:

So it's now inside worthy as chapter two. There's literally a book inside worthy as chapter two. Okay, this is big. This is big. And if you want me to, I will break it down at a granular level on your show.

Kim:

Break it down, break it down.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Apply it to their life right now. Okay. For anyone who has a fear of rejection or failure, or you have past rejections or failures that are still sticking to you even if you know it or not, like lead balloons on your wings when you're trying to fly, right? Okay, so I go through in chapter two called change relationship with rejection. Change your life inside worthy the four r's. And this is framework of the four r's on how to completely change your relationship with rejection. Now, here's the thing. As human beings, every one of us, as human beings, we want to avoid pain at all costs. It's why, for a lot of us, we know if we go to the gym, we're going to eventually have better, you know, health scores.

Jamie Kern Lima:

We're going to eventually feel better. But the pain of working out on that treadmill will keep me personally away from that gym all the time. We are so wired to avoid pain at all costs. And so when we attach a painful meaning to potential rejection or fear, we will not go for the thing. We will stay stuck. We will all of that. Cause we want to avoid pain. We're going to go through the four r's.

Jamie Kern Lima:

If you're down for it, are you up for it?

Kim:

I've got my pen and paper. Let's go. I got it.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Okay, so every person listening to me right now, you can go through this with us. Okay? So this is going to be really powerful. And I'm going to explain, Kim, how. Also how I use this to get through hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of rejections and no's. We were teetering. A lot of people know this. We were teetering on bankruptcy for years at cosmetics, QVC, which is my heart and soul. Soul and best thing that ever happened at cosmetics.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Even QVC had said no for a number of years. And same with all the retail stores. And a lot of times when we get one no or five nos or 20 nos, we give up. We think our intuition must be wrong. We think we don't have what it takes. We think the rejection is some indication of our potential or what's going to happen. And so we quit. And oftentimes it's nothing.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Not if your gut feeling and your knowing is telling you you are supposed to be doing something and you are supposed to be going for it. You have to change your relationship with rejection and failure in order to trust your gut and keep going. Okay, so here's how we're going to do it. So, first, to start it off with a question. This is for you, for me, for everyone listening right now. Imagine yourself getting rejected or failing at something. Without thinking about this too hard. Just imagine it getting rejected and what that feels like.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Or failing at something. And what's the first thought that goes through your head? The very first thought for me, you would.

Kim:

Cause I can answer it yeah, I would. Here we go again. Here it goes again. Here we go again.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. For me, most of my life, it's, yep, there's proof I'm not enough.

Kim:

Okay, girl.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yep. Proof I'm not enough. I once asked this to a room of CEO's at this business conference, and they got really vulnerable. People started crying. I was not expecting that. Answers coming out were like, oh, I should have never tried. I'm stupid. I'm a loser.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I don't have what it takes. Things like that never happened to people like me. What was I even thinking going for it? What I just shared. Oh, yeah, there's proof I'm not enough. What Kim just shared. Yep, here we go again. But for you, listening that first thought you just had, okay, that is your current definition of rejection or failure. Your current definition.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And for some of us, we have multiple, right? For me, it's like, oh, yeah, there's proof I'm not enough or I'm not smart enough. I don't have all these things, right? That we tell ourselves now, for most of us, for most of us, that current definition, so painful that we want to avoid it at all costs, right? So we don't go for it. But when you change your definition, when you change it, which you can do, it can change everything, because everything in life is just the meaning we attach to things to it. First r is reveal, which is what we just did. We revealed our current definition of rejection and failure. And the second r is to redefine it. Redefine it. And when we do it, it has to be a definition you believe to be true.

Jamie Kern Lima:

It cannot be one. That just sounds good. And here's how this happened for me, Kim, in my life. And it actually had to do with QVC. I was in the season of hundreds and hundreds of no's. I did not know how it cosmetics was going to make it. And I got a really painful no from QVC. And it was painful only because I wanted it to happen so bad.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I had this vision of being on QVC, showing real women connecting with that person at home. Like, I felt it, like, I knew it was going to happen.

Kim:

You knew? You knew?

Jamie Kern Lima:

I knew. And then I got another no. And I was like, I don't know. And I just remember I was crying under my covers, not knowing how my business was going to make it. And I decided to Google every person that I could think of that had ever built a really great, successful company or had, you know, helped move humanity forward in some way or helped you know, was an incredible thought leader or an icon or a titan. And I just started reading all their stories. And what I realized is every single one of them, every single one of them has gone through countless rejections and failures. They're just the brave ones willing to keep going anyway.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And that day, crying under my covers, I wrote in my journal, after I just got another note from QVC, I wrote in my journal, rejection does not mean I'm not enough. Which is what I had told myself forever. Rejection means this is a victory. I am one of the brave ones willing to go for it anyway. I am not going to sit my, you know, spend my life on the sidelines, living in regret, thinking, what happened. This rejection is a victory. It's a reminder. I'm one of the brave ones, and I know that in my gut to be true.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I believe that to be true. And so that at that day, became my new definition. And then I started building a toolbox of new definitions that I believed to be true. And every time I would get another. No, another rejection, I would put a product out there, and nobody bought it. All the times that would happen, I would be tempted to think, oh, yeah, there's proof I'm not enough. That's my oldena definition. I will intercept it, replace it with that new one.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Right. One of my favorite ones. Rejections. God's protection.

Kim:

Amen.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Rejections. I'm putting in the rep. Amen. I'm putting in the reps. I'm one step closer. And I started building this toolbox of new definitions, and then I committed to literally deciding the meaning I attached to rejection when it happened, so that I didn't. I didn't assign pain to it. I literally retrained myself to believe it empowered you.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes. Yes. And I started embracing it. I know that just sounds wild, because I get it. Yeah. And then the third r is my favorite. This one's a little deep. But a lot of us are hanging on to past rejections and failures, and we're letting them take root.

Jamie Kern Lima:

We're letting. And for some people, it happened on the school playground when they were in sports.

Kim:

Years ago. Yes, years ago.

Jamie Kern Lima:

For other people, it's that guy that broke their heart and shattered it to pieces and told them they're not enough, or it's the job they wanted so bad that didn't see their value no matter what they did or the friend that did not invite you to the party. And it still hurts your feelings that you felt like you were. I mean, there's so many examples of this where we're holding on to past rejections and they're taking root in our identity. And so third step is to revisit, and a lot of times we don't even know we're doing this, but when we revisit past rejections and then reveal what is the meaning we're assigning to those and then redefine it. Go through steps one and two. It can change everything. Everything, you know, to really quick examples. I was adopted and was, my parents worked so much growing up.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I was always alone, and I always had this story. I told myself that I was abandoned or unwanted, and it came out in a lot of areas of my life. I stayed in unhealthy relationships with guys I was dating way too long because I didn't want to abandon them. And then later, Kim, like, a lot of people don't know this, but we had, you know, we built to over a thousand employees at cosmetics and huge. I have, I think I did a lot well, and I also did a lot wrong. And one of the, my, my biggest things I did wrong was I would not fire people soon enough who actually really merited, really needed.

Kim:

Right, right.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Needed it because I didn't want to abandon. And I went through this process and I realized, I went through this process and realized I was assigning this meaning, that I was unwanted or rejected or abandoned. And I realized that, and I redefined it and was like, oh, actually, my birth mom and dad were together one time ever, then never again. Like, God chose me to change you in this world. My birth mom, her life would have been way easier had she not had me, but she chose to have me. And then my parents, who raised me, chose me. I'm like, I'm not unwanted.

Kim:

You're chosen, baby.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I'm chosen. I'm chosen. And it has changed every part of my life. Believing, I believe that. And it has changed everything. My all time favorite one, in case someone needs this in their life today. For anyone who has had someone not see their value or pull the rug out from underneath them or betray their trust or not love them the way that they need it or not include them or invite them, and it may be something recent, it may be something from decades ago, I will look at. I will.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I will intentionally look at those situations and I will literally redefine them this way. And I believe it. I will. I will, Kim. I will imagine God saying to me, oh, you weren't rejected. I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny.

Kim:

Right.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And I will believe it. And so the people that you know along the way that didn't believe it cosmetics would make it. Like, we had one investor that was. It was the most painful no I've ever had where he thought women went by makeup from someone who looked like me with my body and my weight. Lord have mercy, all these situations. But what I know is I believe this to my core, even if it's simple things like the friend that you're trying so hard to make new friends as an adult, and you don't know why you're not included with that person. It could be any of these situations. I believe God will block our value from people who are not assigned to our destiny.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And believing these new definitions, which I go in the book worthy on how to do this, they will fundamentally, what they do is they make that fear of rejection and failure go away. They make. When rejection and failure happens. The worst case is it can shake your confidence for a minute, but you redefine it. But what it does is it does not let them take a root in your identity so that you're not tempted to think I am a reject or a failure. And so it's one of many tools. It's one of many tools in the book. Worthy on, like, how.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Because my first book believe it was really my journey of learning myself.

Kim:

Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Were these, like, the playbook, how to you.

Kim:

How to you?

Jamie Kern Lima:

Exactly. Exactly. The fourth r is revel in the fact that you are fearless about rejection and failure, because I'm telling you, rejection, fear, failure, self doubt will. Will kill more dreams than almost anything else.

Kim:

I'm going to tell you something, Jamie. You are made for podcasting. I cannot wait to subscribe to your new podcast. When is it coming out? You have so much inspiration to share, girl. I'm telling you so much. People need these messages.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Thank you, Kim. So, yeah, it's called the Jamie Kern Lima show.

Kim:

I can't wait.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And you can subscribe.

Kim:

When is it coming out?

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yeah, it's not out yet, but it will be in March. In March.

Kim:

So we're a few weeks from it.

Jamie Kern Lima:

To get, like, the first episode. And there's gonna be a sneak peek episode now that you'll get first. If you. If you head over there. See? Yeah. Anywhere. Podcast. You get your podcast, or you've got.

Kim:

You've got. You're gonna kill it. I'm telling you. This is your talk show, baby. This is God. Bring. Okay. All right.

Kim:

So before I let you. God love you, too. I just. I can't wait to get the book. I've wrote down the four R's, you gotta get it. But before you leave, I do this with every guest. I do what I call rapid fire. Rapid fire questions.

Kim:

Don't think about it. What comes up comes out. Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Okay.

Kim:

The most surreal moment I had living next door to Oprah was blank. Okay, girl.

Jamie Kern Lima:

The moment she drove over on a golf cart and agreed to be my friend guest on the Jamie Kern Lima show.

Kim:

Jamie, did she bring you anything from the garden or nothing? She just came over what is actually.

Jamie Kern Lima:

She brought a blanket. She brought a blanket the first time she came over. Yeah, yeah. I love blankets. I love a great blanket. I love a great monkey.

Kim:

Okay, Jamie, tell Oprah she's got another fan in me. Okay, here we go. If you only had one year to.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Live, I would snuggle my babies.

Kim:

Yes, you would.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I would snuggle my babies and I would snuggle my babies.

Kim:

That's it.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I would do a better job of noticing the beauty all around us.

Kim:

Amen.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Stay home more. I would stay home more, probably.

Kim:

Me too. I would. In the bed, snuggled up with the candy.

Zac:

With your oprah blanket.

Kim:

Yeah, with your oprah blanket.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Blankethe.

Kim:

You immediately gain my respect if you.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Stand up for someone else who cannot stand up for themselves.

Kim:

Oh, good one. Agreed. I agree with you on that. The one piece of advice I would give to a listener who wants to start a business in her living room is blank.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Oh.

Kim:

Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima:

If you listen up, if you know in your gut this is what you're supposed to be doing, let's go. You're knowing is going to be more powerful than any of the no's you're about to get. And the no. I do not know a single person who has started a business who has lasted and not gotten a whole bunch of no's. And knowing how to pray, get, still, meditate, whatever that looks like for you. And learning how to hear your own knowing and trust, it is more powerful. It's your compass, it's your north star, it's your guidance. And do not let anyone else's doubt about you turn into doubt in your own head.

Jamie Kern Lima:

And do not think you're alone in that doubt or in the nose again. We think we're alone because we go on social media and all we see is people's highlight reels and we think, oh, I'm the only one who my business is not getting traction, or I put my art out there and no one's buying it. Or I put my ideas and no one click like. Or, I mean, it was years, Kim. Before years and years before anybody knew it, cosmetics existed. But it was a lot of no's. And I just. I think a lot of people aren't prepared for that because especially with technology, things look like they happen fast, instant.

Kim:

Yeah, they do. They don't. They don't happen fast.

Jamie Kern Lima:

They get famous quick. They build businesses quick. They're somehow successful quick. And I would prioritize. I would know that. And I would also prioritize cash over flash, and that is hard to do. But we were so unglamorous for the longest time. We were not cool for the longest time, but we stayed.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Not going bankrupt, barely, for the longest time, because we prioritized that you had substance.

Kim:

You had substance.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I could go on this week time as quickly.

Kim:

Okay. Okay, I gotta get this. I know, but you got a heart out, and I wanna ask you this. This is fun. My celebrity crush is blank. Okay, Jamie. Whoo. I know.

Kim:

Just keep it real. 100. Just blam. First guy. First person comes up and comes out. Who is it?

Jamie Kern Lima:

This is not gonna make any sense. You really want me to be really, really honest?

Kim:

Total, 1000% raw.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Let me just preface this by saying.

Kim:

Okay, go ahead, go ahead.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Happily married. I have only dated men my entire life, and my first two was. Angelina Jolie was my first. My first. She's hot.

Kim:

No, no. A celebrity, a crush is. Come on. That has nothing to do. You know, that's who you look up to. She's hot. She's hot for a reason. She's hot.

Jamie Kern Lima:

That's my first thought. I'm like, you want me to be.

Kim:

Honest, but can't be honest because she gives back. You have the same heart. I get it. Now, this week, I have a very special audience fill in the blank question that I want you, our listeners, to answer. I want you to be a part of the show, and I think this is going to be really, really fun, y'all. So if you're on a platform that allows comments, then drop a comment with your answer, or if you're on QVC or Apple, then head on over to kimgravelshow.com and send me a comment with your answer to this question. Fill in the blank, y'all. My guilty pleasure is blank.

Kim:

Yeah, I have so many of them. I want you to make that comment anywhere you listen to the podcast, make the comment, and who knows, we might be reading your comments on air.

Zac:

Kim, what's your guilty pleasure? Real fast.

Kim:

Chocolate cake, massages, facials, shopping packages coming to my door from ups. Should I go on.

Zac:

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Just one question. Just one answer, y'all. One answer.

Kim:

It's really not a pleasure if it doesn't make you a little bit guilty. Just saying. Okay, here we go. I hope this is easy too. Cause it is for me. My favorite junk food is blank. Whoo. Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Oh, my gosh. Olive, come on.

Kim:

And I want a sweet and a salty. I want a sweet and a salty.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Okay. I downed like, I'm not even. This is embarrassing. I downed probably 100 Christmas wrapped Hershey kisses for breakfast. I do not recommend that. I'm just being so honest. I'm being so honest.

Kim:

All right.

Jamie Kern Lima:

You're salty, but that's not normal. Salty. But that is what happened today.

Kim:

I love it.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Salty. Oh, my gosh. You know, I love junk. I love junk food.

Kim:

I do too, Amy. I do too. I mean, you and I could sit down and eat and talk for days.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Yes, yes. Just. Yeah, you gotta come back.

Kim:

You gotta come back.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Okay. Salty, everything. I'm sweet, so I'm a sweet person.

Kim:

I'm a sweet too.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Pretzels. I love nachos.

Kim:

Doritos.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Kim:

How about lay's? Have you ever tried the lay's salted vinegar chips?

Jamie Kern Lima:

I have not. Are they good?

Kim:

Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Do you want to know a true story?

Kim:

Grab them.

Jamie Kern Lima:

We did this powder blush stain at it. Cosmetics. And how we thought of it was, one day I was eating cheetos, and my fingers were stained orange, and I'm like, and we didn't launch blush at cosmetics for years because I was like, I'm not launching one unless that's better or different or special. And I remember Apollo looking at me with these orange stained fingers eating cheetos. I thought he was judging me, and he knew I was at a product development retreat, and we didn't have a blush idea. And he's like, what if cheetos stay in your hands and you can eat them? It's safe. What about a powder blush stain? That's how he thought of it. So, see, there are good things that come out of junk food, even if they're not good for you.

Kim:

I'm leaving it right there, because there's nothing better than Cheeto stained fingers to do product development for a beauty brand. Jamie, listen, you can connect with her on her website, jamiekernlima.com. follow her on social media. Jamiekernlima. Her new book, Worthy, came out last week. How to believe you are enough and transform your life. It's available right now everywhere. Brooks, are so girl, you gotta come back.

Kim:

We gotta have a follow up. I would love to see you and everybody go follow her podcast right now. Okay. I'm not kidding you right now.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Jamie, let's go show. We'll be used live. You, me, and Mally should do like a live show together. That would be so fun.

Kim:

Call me. You got my number. Call me, girl. I'm there.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Same. Okay, good. I love you.

Kim:

Love you.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Thank you, y'all.

Kim:

After the break, we have a listener rapid fire question and an inspiring listener voicemail just for you. So come on back after the break, y'all. This one inspired me. Zac, don't you love it when we get these voicemails, we get these comments? You just got it. Y'all gotta hear it. Take a listen. Take a listen.

Zac:

All right, let's take a listen. Here we go.

Caller:

Hi, Kim. I watch you on QVC, and I've just come to love you so much. You just absolutely make my day whenever I see you. And of course, with your new issue, I was so upset for you, and. And then I'm seeing that you're just going through with it and fighting it and still being out there, and it just inspires me because I probably would feel so sorry for myself. And I look at you and you are incredibly brave and wonderful. So just want to settle on my best and hope that you can get through this pretty soon and it'll be over for you. But until then, know that you are just totally held in such regards.

Caller:

So love you, Patti.

Kim:

Ah, Patti, I love you too. But, Zac, I am. I am. She's right. It's tough. I mean, but that's what it's all about. I mean, just what Jamie said. I mean, it's not about what happens to us.

Kim:

It's really what happens through us is it happens what we do with. With our hardships and our rejections and our failures and our pasts and, you know, Patti, I love you, girl. And where else can we go but forward? You know, if this is the worst thing that ever happened, so many other people, Zac, deal with such heartache and disappointment that we all have to just take our pain as pain and whatever we're going through, and we've just got to encourage each other and move forward together. That's what this community is all about. So if you want to be a part of this, love who you are community, where we are going to lift each other up, make everyone feel like they are worthy. Like Jamie said, we're all so worthy. This is a place for you. Subscribe to the podcast, share it with other people go on the Kimgreville show.com.

Kim:

sign up there. Leave comments.

Zac:

Tell someone about it. Just tell someone about it.

Kim:

Tell somebody or call us. Zac, what's the number? What's the number?

Zac:

Or call us. Leave us a voicemail. We're going to be doing these every episode. I want to hear from listeners every episode. And let me just give you a quick tip, because I would say 90% of the voicemails we get are just like, Kim, you're so great, and I love your clothes and I love your show. And I want to hear more about you. I want to hear what you're going through.

Kim:

Yeah. Patty. Yeah.

Zac:

How you're getting through it. How you can inspire other people. Like, what is your inspiration? What is your.

Kim:

What's your story?

Zac:

Yeah, what's your story? So tell us that, because, I mean, Kim would love it if I just played, you know, we love you.

Jamie Kern Lima:

Love you.

Zac:

Love you, Kim.

Kim:

But I love you back. That's all I'm gonna say is I love you back.

Zac:

I just kidding.

Kim:

Sometimes I get tired of my 404.

Zac:

Okay, all right, all right. 404-913-6460 all right. What were you gonna say, Kim? I'm sorry I interrupted you.

Kim:

I was gonna. Sometimes I get tired of my own self. What did I tell you today? I'm tired of talking.

Zac:

Yeah, you did say that. Yeah. You started out by saying, I'm tired of talking. My face hurts. Are you okay, Kim? How's that going, by the way?

Kim:

I'm good. Getting better every day. Getting better every day.

Zac:

Okay. All right.

Kim:

Move forward, y'all, and know that you're worthy like Jamie said. All right, bye, y'all. We'll see you next week.

Zac:

Bye, y'all.

Jamie Kern Lima:

I just got more Kim. I just got more Kim in my.

Kim:

Life, I got you big on.

Zac:

The funny thing is there's a delay. So when you say do do do to me, it's totally off. Like, it's like you're like a second late. It's hilarious.

Kim:

Well, that's the story of my life, Zac. I'm always delayed.

Zac:

Second late, a dollar short. All right, let's delay.

Kim:

Healing delayed, everything. Yeah. That I want to share with you because I want to. And after. Hold on. And I have an inspiring listening. The Kim Gravel show is produced and edited by Zac Miller at Uncommon Audio. Our associate producer is Kathleen Grant, The Brunette Exec production help from Emily Bredin and Sara Noto.

Kim:

Our cover art is designed by Sanaz Huber at Memarian Creative, and Mike Kligerman edits the show talent booking by Central Talent Booking and a special thanks to the team at QVC. Head over to kimgravelshow.com and sign up for our mailing list. Again, we can't do this without you, so thank you for listening and we love you.