How To Be Old with Lyn Slater

*This transcript was auto-generated*

Kim:

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Kim:

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Kim:

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Lyn Slater:

There's no book that gives you a game plan about how to be old.

Kim:

I don't care. I'm gonna do me.

Lyn Slater:

So I have to tell you, I was born belligerent.

Kim:

I'm feeling. I'm running out of time to accomplish the things I wanna accomplish.

Lyn Slater:

I want to change how we think about age.

Kim:

Are they sagging and dragging, or you just don't even care?

Lyn Slater:

I don't care what people don't understand about influencing. It's actually pretty controlling.

Kim:

Wait. There's so many takeaways. I'm taking notes, listening to you talk. You are the best guest we've ever had on the podcast. All right, y'all, our guest today is a fantastic, amazing writer who wrote the perfect intro for herself on her sub stack. I gotta read it. Cause I just. I was blown away by it.

Kim:

She wrote, I'm Lyn Slater, also known as an accidental icon. Love it. Reformed social media influencer. I can relate. Writer, activist, social worker, former professor. Okay. And someone who's just an ordinary woman with an interesting life. She's written a book called how to be old, and her book comes out on March 12.

Kim:

Welcome to the show. Okay, let's do that one more time. Zac, we forgot to tell Lyn. We forgot to tell.

Zac:

Here's the thing. I missed my cue, and that's.

Kim:

To me, Zac is not a stage performer, okay? He is a producer.

Lyn Slater:

No, no. Well, one of the chapters in my book is about improvisation. There you go with it. So let's do it, Lyn.

Kim:

Zac is going to read that chapter. So let me read that last line again. Lyn, you take a beat. Cause we have something special for you. Okay? Sure, Zac. I'm gonna start. Her book comes out. Here we go.

Kim:

I love it.

Zac:

I'm keeping all of this in. All of this. 100%. It's staying in.

Kim:

Of course.

Zac:

All right, go ahead, Kim.

Kim:

Her book comes out on March 12. Welcome to the show.

Lyn Slater:

Ooh.

Kim:

There you go.

Zac:

There we go.

Lyn Slater:

Thank you for that.

Kim:

Now, Lyn, that's an intro, isn't it?

Lyn Slater:

That is an intro.

Kim:

Thank you. That's Zac. That's Zac's specialty. See? That's what he's good at.

Zac:

Mm hmm. Yeah. Just in the moment. I'll choke every time. That's what I'm saying.

Kim:

I love it. But this is the thing. I mean, that's what life's about, is like, making mistakes and moving through them. Right, Lyn? And your book, how to be old, I think that's the title of all titles. How did you come up with that book title? Tell us about it. Tell us about the book.

Lyn Slater:

Ah, that's a long story.

Kim:

I know. I hear you.

Lyn Slater:

Anyway, I decided at some point after I turned 60 that I was going to embrace being old, and I was not going to be afraid of it. I was not going to let people make me feel bad about it. I was not going to let people tell me that I don't have a seat at the table anymore.

Kim:

Yes.

Lyn Slater:

And I knew that I had to do it in a way that was not going to turn people off, because how to be old is sort of like get with the program, kids, because it's absolutely the best time of your life. Or could be.

Kim:

But you know what, Lyn? I mean, first of all, I am in love with you. We are gonna be BFF's. You're just getting started. Sister Sledge. My mom is 76 and is fabulous. I mean, talk about reinvention. She's so much like you. She's gorgeous, she's fabulous.

Kim:

She's beautiful, she's fashionable, and she's now a model for me on QVC. And you said your mother taught you how much fun it was to be a belligerent woman. Okay, first of all, we gotta define what you mean by belligerent woman. I get it. Cause I'm one, too. But what do you mean by that? Cause my mom is one, too girl. She's taught me that, too.

Lyn Slater:

Well, I think being belligerent means that you're not going to do something because somebody is telling you to come on, especially if it doesn't fit for you or your life.

Kim:

When did you learn to be belligerent? Because it's taken me about 52 years. Cause that's how old I am. And so finally, I'm like, I don't care. Forget it. I'm gonna do me. How long did it take you to get there?

Lyn Slater:

So I have to tell you, I was born belligerent. And the story my mom tells about my birth is that I was a month overdue. I didn't want to be born, and they finally had to pull me out with forceps.

Kim:

Oh, I know.

Lyn Slater:

So I was like, from day one, saying, I'm writing the script, and if you try to make me do something I'm not ready to do, it's not going to happen.

Kim:

But you know what, Lyn? So can you develop this belligerency, so to speak, though? Can you. Can you become a woman who, because, Lyn, you know, I'm in the throes of two teenage kids. I mean, you have children, grandchildren.

Lyn Slater:

That's you.

Kim:

You know, like, I got a 16 year old and a 14 year old. I never sit on a clean toilet seat. So I'm just saying, two boys. And so I just, you know, as women, we're having to be so many things to so many different people. Now, at your age, in your state of life, what is it like to have this freedom to be free and belligerent and fabulous? You know what I'm saying? Like, help us. Help us get there.

Lyn Slater:

I love that you said that, because recently, I wrote an essay about this, and I was like, you know, when you are younger, there's books about how to be a parent, how to find your dream job, how to be in a relationship, how to talk to a man. And there's no book that gives you a game plan about how to be old. And what we now know is that you have to start preparing for that when you're young.

Kim:

Yeah. Oh, come on.

Lyn Slater:

And what I realized, because here I am, I'm 70. I always had a dream of being a writer. I'm publishing my first literary type book. I did publish an academic book, but I'm getting my dream that I had to put aside because I was raising kids. I was having to make a living. I was taking care of my parents who were older. I'm the oldest taking care of siblings. So I wish that when I was in the middle of that, when I was in my thirties and forties, that I knew how my life could be when I was old, when I could have my dreams and have be the person I wanted to be.

Lyn Slater:

And I would have said to myself at that time, you know, it's just on the shelf. Just put it on the shelf. You're not throwing it away. You're going to take that down. One day, you will have it. So just get through today, and you will have it. And to me, that is the worst part of making young people be afraid to be old, is you're denying them that.

Kim:

But, Lyn, okay, this is what you've just dropped on us is a bit of a huge bombshell. Because what I'm hearing you say is resonating with my soul right now. Because what you're saying. Cause I'm always thinking I'm running out of time. I don't know if you ever felt that way. Cause I'm 52 and I'm thinking I'm not. I mean, I have a fabulous family, a wonderful career. I'm so blessed.

Kim:

Right? But let's put the blessing on the back burner right now and talk. I'm feeling I'm running out of time to accomplish the things I wanna accomplish. What I'm hearing you say is, Kim, don't worry about it. It's coming. Be patient. Is that what you're saying? Tell me what you mean by it's coming.

Lyn Slater:

That's what I'm saying, is that there will come a time in your life where nothing is ever too late until the day you die. And even I joke around about reinventing myself over and over and over, which I've done throughout my life. And I'm basically telling my family I'm going to reinvent how I die. Even. So, we're going to talk about how I'm going to reinvent that.

Kim:

Wow.

Lyn Slater:

So even at that moment, there's an opportunity to do it different, to do it the way that you want to do, to be. You know, my mother was a very belligerent woman in how she wanted to end her life and how she wanted to live during that end, and we had to help her fight for it. So I think what I am saying, and again, if you do what you need to do when you're young, which basically is have a healthy lifestyle, have a purpose that you will set up for yourself, an opportunity to have all of these deferred dreams, all of these, oh, it's too late to happen for you. And I don't want to minimize that. Some of us have a lot of privilege as older people, and some of us do not. It's a struggle. So I think we have to acknowledge that. But I think for younger people, you have an opportunity now, we know so much scientifically to intervene in how you're going to be old.

Lyn Slater:

And so that starts when you're 30. It starts when you're 25, because we're aging from the minute we're born. But we live in a culture and a society that value youth and value beauty. And so people put all their money and energy in that. I mean, I think I heard some outrageous figure of women spending, like, half a million dollars on skin products over their lifetime. Like, what if you put that in an account for when I take it off the shelf day? What if, what if that money is there for you to do that thing that you always feared it would never come to you? That's how I want to change how we think about age. And I'm seeing things like, it's killing me. I have a nine year old granddaughter, and now I'm seeing things on TikTok that girls that age are ridiculous.

Kim:

Retinol girl. And it's so damaging to their skin. You're so right, Lyn. This is what I also want to talk. I want to talk to you about how, how it's your age. Even at my age, 52. I mean, that's no spring chicken, girl. How, at our age, do we dream again? But we're gonna talk about it right after we get back, more with Lyn after this.

Kim:

I want you to think about it, Lyn, how we can dream at our age. Dream again. We'll be right back. Oh, my gosh. We're back. We're back with Lyn talking about how to be old. And, Lyn, we were talking before the break about dreaming, and you're so inspiring. You're so contagious with this.

Kim:

You're passionate. But you're not just passionate. I mean, you kind of like a modern day preacher going, look, girl, this is what you need to do. Lyn, what, how can people listening right now who are in their late forty's fifties, sixties, even in their seventies, what do you say to that woman who wants to dream again or has a dream that's been, that's been like, you know, buried in their deep, deep within their heart that they, they want to accomplish before, you know, they get too old?

Lyn Slater:

So I'll share a little bit about what I did, because I think this is how you start doing it. Think about something that you're really interested in and that makes you happy.

Kim:

Okay?

Lyn Slater:

So for me, when I turned 60, I said, you know what? I really am interested in fashion. But I had not a clue of what I could do in it. So my first piece of advice is, put yourself in a space where you can meet people and learn more about that thing that is your dream or was your dream. And so what I learned from taking classes in a fashion school was, oh, I didn't want to be a fashion designer, because that would take too long, because I thought at first, well, maybe I'll be a fashion designer. Maybe I'll be.

Kim:

When did you take that class? How old were you when you took that fashion design class?

Lyn Slater:

That's when I did that. When I turned 60. Wow, that's. I went to fit. I went to continuing ed classes. I was the oldest person in the room. But all the professors and all the students said, you have amazing style. You should start a fashion blog now.

Lyn Slater:

I had no idea that that's what I would do until I put myself in that space. Right? So if you want to be a musician, go and take continuing ed in a jazz improv class. Just put yourself in and things will start coming to you. And so I left that year saying, okay, that's something I could do. I know how to do a website, because what you're going to find when you put yourself in your new space is that everything you did in your life up until that point, you're going to bring to your dream.

Kim:

It serves you.

Lyn Slater:

It serves you. I think the hard part is sort of figuring out, okay, how do I put those to use in a new space? And so, for me, I had all these talents over the years, but I didn't think they would be applicable to fashion. And what I found out was these students and professors gave me a place that I could put all my experience and all my passion. And then it's a question of, for me, I didn't have any goals. I just said, I'm going to enjoy myself. I'm going to have fun. And I just started chasing these really fun things. Like, I've been in music videos.

Lyn Slater:

The most fun things, I never even got paid for. And it really didn't matter to me because I had a full time job, but I was just needing to be creative and to start hatching something new. And so that, to me, that's the first point, is, you don't have to say, I'm going to go to school and be a textile designer. You don't have to know that. But what you have to do is go to a textile exhibition, take a class in the history of textile, and then something will come, and you have to be open to it. It's a lucky accident, as I say, a lucky accusation.

Kim:

Is this what you're talking about, the power of design thinking? Like, what is the power of design thinking and the way, like, fashion can change the way you feel about yourself? Because did you, did you, is that what you picked up on when you were at fit? Or is this something that happened with the blog? Cause I love that the power of design thinking is. That's. That's a really cool way of saying it.

Lyn Slater:

Well, I think I picked up on the power of design thinking from hanging out with innovators, because they use design thinking, and I don't think we use design thinking.

Kim:

Well, what do you mean by design thinking? Like, what does that mean?

Lyn Slater:

So I think what it means is that you see a problem, but you don't want to do the usual business as usual way of solving it. And so you do these different exercises to figure out how could we make something innovative and new and different to solve this problem. And I feel like we're very much still using very old ways of thinking and designing for older people. And so for me, I think that means that we have to be realistic. Right.

Kim:

Okay. Okay.

Lyn Slater:

So right now, in aging, we have these two polls. We have one saying, your life is over. You're going to be demented, you're going to be depressed, you're a drain on society. You're ruining the world for young people, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then on the other, you have these people who, you know, have a lot of resources and lives, have had them their whole life, and they're running marathons, and they're having these fabulous lives. They don't look young. And the fact is, that's about 3% of all aging people, and that the vast majority of us are in the middle. And so in design thinking, there's this little exercise.

Lyn Slater:

It's called the rose to the thorn and the bud, to get you to think creatively. And so I apply that to aging. Like, the rose is, I can't tell you how many good things there are about aging, particularly that you don't care what anybody else thinks. Number one, which is very freeing, but there are some things that aren't great about it. Right. You know, it takes me a bit in the morning now to get that arthritis going or whatever, but the bud is that if we think creatively, and basically, that's how I used fashion, if we think creatively, we can come up with really exciting ways to meet the challenges that come from aging. And so here's like, a little tiny example. My mother, we gave her one of those medical necklaces, right? In case she fell.

Lyn Slater:

Every time I went to visit her, it was hanging on her bedpost. She didn't want to wear it. She didn't want to say to the world, I'm not independent. I'm old. So now I have an apple watch, like, millions of people. And if I fall, it says, did you take a fall? Do we need to call help? That's how we have to be thinking.

Kim:

Instead of, that's the design part. That.

Lyn Slater:

That's the design part. That's the design part. That's the design part.

Kim:

You're safe, you're secure, you're supported, but you're cool cause you have an apple watch.

Lyn Slater:

That's right.

Kim:

Love it.

Lyn Slater:

Because that's our generation, right? We are not aging like my mother was aging.

Kim:

No.

Lyn Slater:

We came up in the seventies. We were burning bras. We were having demonstrations. Hey. Cohabitation, which is a really big thing for older people now. We invented it. Free love. So why does anybody.

Kim:

Yes, they. Free love up there at the retirement homes. There's a lot of free love, Lyn.

Lyn Slater:

Exactly.

Zac:

There's a lot of STD's, I think, at the retirement home these days.

Lyn Slater:

No, there is. There is. It's like, one of the fastest rates because people don't think that we are sexual. And so you go to your doctor. You go to your doctor, and they're not asking you about STD's. They're not asking you about partners like they did when you were young. They're not educating you about safe sex, because when a lot of people were young, it was before we had to be worried about what safe sex meant, except about being pregnant. But, yeah, it's dangerous when you don't accept the reality of how it really is.

Kim:

So it's dangerous when you don't accept some of the thorns.

Lyn Slater:

Yes.

Kim:

That come with the beauty of aging. Correct? Is that what you're saying?

Lyn Slater:

That's what I'm saying.

Kim:

I love it, and I need to really start thinking that way, because as you're talking, Lyn, you're educating me. You're teaching me. Did you like being an influencer? Like, has social media and the speed of content changing our brains all the time? How did you adjust to that? Because, like, now that actually, I think, is there a college degree in being an influencer? I mean, like, I talk to young people. I train young people in, and they're like, I want to be an influencer. I'm like, is that a real job? I'm like, hello. I mean, what happened to being a mechanic or electrician or, you know, even a college professor? Is influencer a gig now a job?

Lyn Slater:

I quit it because.

Kim:

And there you go, Lyn.

Lyn Slater:

There you go. Yeah, I mean, I stopped being an influencer because when I first started, I did this because I wanted to be a creative person. I wanted to learn about fashion. I wanted to express myself. And in the beginning, I would say for the first six or seven years, it was a lot of fun. But then what happened is that Instagram changed and began to be a place where you were doing a lot of selling of things, and I was doing a lot of selling of things. And one of what people don't understand about influencing is that it's actually pretty controlling that once you get into selling that, people are telling you how to take pictures, what you should say, and, okay, put your little spin on it. But if you don't do what the brand wants you to do, they're like, you need to reshoot this.

Lyn Slater:

You need to do that. And when I was doing my own thing, right, independently, I was free to be as creative and amazing as I wanted to be. And so for me, I found myself. And you have to be on social media every hour of the day because you have to be engaging, you have to be posting. And I found myself becoming depressed, anxious, just deadened. And that's why I quit.

Kim:

But, Lyn, do you think that had to do with your age, too? Do you think you looked at it and said, I'm not willing to give up control of this? I like my control of my creativity. Is that something that's empowering that comes with being older like that? I'm not doing that.

Lyn Slater:

I think you feel more comfortable doing it when you're old, but I have done it throughout my life, and that's a good lesson. Sometimes I did it in ways that got me in deep trouble.

Kim:

Me, too, girl. Let's hear that story. I want that story. Me too, girl. Uh uh. Yeah, that's. That belligerent.

Lyn Slater:

I had a lot of detentions, and, you know, not you, Lyn.

Kim:

No way.

Lyn Slater:

Yes.

Kim:

Okay.

Lyn Slater:

My friends call me the good bad girl.

Kim:

Oh, I love. Oh, good. That's a song we need to write. That's it. Your next career is music. What's the problem with saying 60 is the new 40? And why is it wrong to look at it that way? Because at 50, I'm like, is 50 the new 30? I hope so. Am I thinking about it wrong?

Lyn Slater:

I think when people say 60 is the new 40, the implication is that being younger is better. And I think we should say. I think we should say 60 means now, with all these advances, that I am probably going to live ten to 20 years longer than I may have.

Kim:

Wow.

Lyn Slater:

What can I do with that? What can I do that? It's going to make me feel like a creative person with a purpose. And for me, I'm asking, how can I make the world better during that time? How do I want to live during that time? So rather than turning back the clock and seeing it as we're getting old, it's like, I'm 60. I have this amazing gift now of extra years. What am I going to do with that? And that can be as exciting as when you were in your twenties, figuring out, what am I going to do with my life? It's like being given another life.

Kim:

Okay, there's one thing I've got to ask you, because it's just been, it's a thread that has gone. I could talk to you literally. I cannot wait to read your book. Y'all have got to get it. I'll tell you how to get it here in a little bit. You have been saying the word, this one word. I think you've said it, like, 20 times, and it's one that every time you say it, a little piece of me jumps on the inside. You keep saying the word creative.

Kim:

Creative. Lyn, how important is it? I don't care how old you are. Is it to be creative? I keep hearing that word. Is that something that has really given you this outlook? Like, what is it about that word for you, and why does it matter to us?

Lyn Slater:

I think it's part of resilience. And what I like about it is that you can do it without money. And I think a lot of people, a lot of people think that being creative is like having a painting in an art gallery. This is something my mother taught me, and I really respect her about it, is that in her life every day, as a woman who had six children and we were very working class, she had to figure out how to make do with less. She had to figure out how to make something exciting without money. And that kind of creativity allows you to be resilient. It allows you to have hope. It allows you to be optimistic.

Kim:

I gotta write that down. Hold on. You said creativity allows you to be hopeful.

Lyn Slater:

Yes.

Kim:

Oh, girl.

Lyn Slater:

And I think I'm writing it. I think that if people stopped who think they're not creative, and they stopped and thought about what they did every day, that maybe you're making a recipe, and you put in an ingredient that's not on the recipe, that's being creative. And so all of those small acts of creativity, it's what makes life bearable. Some days, it doesn't require a lot of resources. It's there for everybody to have. And I think that when you're being creative, you're feeling a lot of joy and you're feeling pleasure, even if your overall situation may not be the best. But it really is something that has sustained me throughout my life. And as a social worker, I worked with women and girls who experienced trauma for most of my career.

Lyn Slater:

That was very hard. And the way that I would manage it is I would go and take a class in improvisational theater or, you know, creative writing, and I would then bring that back into my work as a way to do it in a different way that then helped me to move on. It makes your life new and exciting and fresh if you are creative and if you bring creativity to your life.

Kim:

Okay. There's so many takeaways. I'm taking notes, listening to you talk, Lyn, so I feel like getting your.

Lyn Slater:

Book is still a professor, I guess.

Kim:

You are teaching me, girl. And I think I'm going to get your book, and it's going to one of them highlight tab, yellow dog ear moments. But right after this, I'm gonna do something fun I do with every guest. Lyn. It's called rapid fire questions. So, you know, get your rapid fire on. We'll be right back. More with Lyn right after this.

Kim:

We'Re back, and I've just. During the break, I'm just sitting here just telling Lyn how many aha moments I've had sitting here. Y'all gotta get her booked. But before we go there, I just wanna. I just. Lyn, every guest I have, I do what I call rapid fire. So I'm gonna read a question, and the first thing that comes up comes out. Okay? Don't hold back.

Lyn Slater:

We could be in trouble here. No, what are the censor guidelines?

Kim:

We've got a bleep button if we.

Zac:

Need it, I'll beep it right out, Lyn.

Kim:

Okay, but this is the thing, Lyn. I have a feeling, you belligerent woman, you're gonna have no issues with this. Here we go. Rapid fire questions. If you had to flee the country tonight, where would you go?

Lyn Slater:

Amsterdam.

Kim:

What? Okay. You have to tell me why that's.

Lyn Slater:

I went there for the first time in my life recently, but my grandfather was born there.

Kim:

Okay.

Lyn Slater:

And my family never talked about the past. It was very mum. And there was some indication that my great grandparents had a hotel in a cafe in Amsterdam. And when I went to, of course, we didn't believe. It was, like, whatever. I went the most incredibly gorgeous. That was once the hub of intellectual, cultural, creative life. So I want to go to Amsterdam and sit in that cafe every day.

Kim:

Yeah, I'm going with you. We're taking your book, and you're going to be doing the professory thing with me all day. Okay, here we go. Who would you want to be trapped in an elevator with? That's a good one.

Lyn Slater:

That is a good one. I would have to say Ray Kawakuba.

Kim:

Ooh, do tell.

Lyn Slater:

She is the designer who is behind commes des Garcons, and she's in her nineties. And she completely blew the fashion world apartheid part when she first showed her work in Paris. And she. She is a woman who has been rebel. Talk about belligerent women. Right? She has been belligerent her whole life, and I would just love to hear more about who she is and how she thinks, and it would be amazing.

Kim:

Okay, can I just say now I want to be trapped in the elevator with y'all.

Lyn Slater:

Here's a quick, quick, quick story. Her first boutique, she had no mirrors because she said, you need to feel how the clothes feel on your body, not think about how they look.

Zac:

Ooh, you should use that on QVC, Kim.

Kim:

That's money I'm gonna. I can't even pronounce. Because. Cause Lyn said it was such elegance, you know? And I say it with the southern twang. So we have to work on, you know, the. What is it called? The x. The eloqu. What is that? What is it called when you.

Kim:

How you pronounce it? All right, we're moving on. Here we go. What's one thing you do every single day that you wish you didn't have to ever do again? Oh, I could think of many things. Mm hmm.

Lyn Slater:

Let's see. That's hard, I guess. Clean up my house.

Kim:

Yeah, right?

Lyn Slater:

I hate it.

Kim:

I hate it, too.

Zac:

But do you clean every day, Lyn?

Lyn Slater:

Well, that's. That's a good question, but yes, because I can't stand things to be disorganized and cluttered, so. Yeah.

Zac:

Well, and you lived in 600 sqft in New York City for a long time, right?

Lyn Slater:

Yes. Now in the house.

Zac:

Yeah.

Kim:

I hate unloading the dishwasher. So, I mean, there's several things I could. I hate cleaning the toilet seats. I hate shaving my armpits. I mean, there's a lot. Okay. We could go on for days for that.

Lyn Slater:

That was the funny thing about accidental icon, because when I was at the height of it and everybody thought I had this glamorous life, I was still cleaning my own toilet.

Kim:

Right. Hello. Were you the only. Were you the only one sitting and using your own toilet?

Lyn Slater:

That's the question at the time. Well, my partner.

Kim:

Ok. There you go. Okay, so, I mean, then that's a whole nother story. That's a whole nother. We could go down that rap trail. Okay. Who would you hire to narrate or act in the story of your life?

Lyn Slater:

Oh, boy.

Kim:

Who would play you?

Lyn Slater:

Lyn Francis McDermott.

Kim:

Ooh, good one.

Zac:

It's a really good one.

Kim:

Really good one.

Lyn Slater:

I think she could pull it off.

Kim:

She could pull it off. She's belligerent.

Lyn Slater:

Yep.

Kim:

Okay, which would you choose, money or fame?

Lyn Slater:

Money. Right. I had my little brush with fame.

Kim:

Y'All. Lyn said money. She didn't even just say it like, normally.

Zac:

She didn't even hesitate. That was a great answer.

Lyn Slater:

No, no.

Kim:

I agree with you, Lyn, 100%. What commercial jingle from your childhood will you always remember and be able to sing at any time?

Lyn Slater:

Now you're asking me to use my memory, and I'm 70. All right, see, that's where technology comes in. I can go on Google when I can't think of it.

Kim:

This idea.

Lyn Slater:

Let me think.

Kim:

I know these are good.

Lyn Slater:

Jingle.

Zac:

Do you have one, Kim? Well, Lyn's thinking hot pockets.

Kim:

I remember that one.

Zac:

I think that one.

Kim:

And you know what, Lyn? Cause, you know, I have a fashion line on QVC, and so I always say, got pockets every time I tell it. Cause I can't do anything without pockets. And so the hot pockets, I remember that.

Lyn Slater:

I'm drawing a blank on this one.

Kim:

What about a tv theme song? Do y'all remember those from your childhood? Cause they used to be like.

Lyn Slater:

I remember Bonanza.

Kim:

Oh, Bonanza was good.

Lyn Slater:

I remember that theme song.

Kim:

Bonanza was good. We used to watch it every week. Yeah. With my dad.

Lyn Slater:

Yeah. I was actually more of a reader than a tv watcher when I was a kid.

Kim:

That's why you're a professor and so smart. That's attract, and that's why I'm doing a podcast. Okay, here we go. What's the most boring sport to you? Oh, I've got many of those. I know.

Lyn Slater:

I would have to say first, football.

Kim:

Agreed. Agreed.

Zac:

Just.

Kim:

And people love it. People love it. But I don't get it.

Lyn Slater:

But I find it very boring.

Kim:

I know. And baseball's not exactly my favorite either. I mean, that game goes forever. Okay. Would you ever pick up or have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?

Lyn Slater:

No, but I've hitchhiked.

Kim:

Oh. Oh, so you were the hitchhikeye?

Lyn Slater:

Yes, I was a hitchhikee throughout my college years.

Kim:

Where did you go to college, Lyn? Do you mind me asking?

Lyn Slater:

I went to a small all girls catholic college in Newport, Rhode Island. Salve, Regina. I have to say, I have two masters, a PhD, and the bachelor's I got from salve, and I probably never had as rigorous education as I had there.

Kim:

Wow.

Lyn Slater:

Because at the time, it was all girls, and it was around the women's movement, and their whole thing was, we are going to train your brains for you to compete in this world as equals.

Kim:

Go, girl.

Lyn Slater:

And, yes, and I also learned how to break rules in a. In a good way. Yeah, I guess it was very, very restrictive still. Like, we had what they call parietals, where you couldn't have boys in your room, and, well. Well, we figured it out.

Kim:

I was gonna say, but I'm willing to bet you a dollar to a donut you had boys in the room. Just saying. Okay. All right. That's a whole nother book and a whole nother podcast. Here we go. What's the most beautiful garment you've ever owned? Right. You, fashionista.

Lyn Slater:

That's hard. That's hard. But I would have to say that, for me, it is a silk yoshi Yamamoto coat.

Kim:

Ooh, that was a pretty penny.

Lyn Slater:

I do all my designers consignment. You have to remember, I was a social worker and a professor.

Kim:

Right? So. And I have to remember, you wanted money over fame, so I get it. Okay. What is the most comfortable garment you've ever owned?

Lyn Slater:

The most comfortable, without a doubt, my overalls.

Kim:

Oh, okay. Lyn.

Lyn Slater:

Which is what I basically wear almost every day now.

Kim:

Every day. That's the uniform, right? Okay. When you walk in, do you immediately you bra on or bra off? You know what I mean?

Lyn Slater:

Bra off.

Kim:

Just unleash those puppies.

Lyn Slater:

I'll let you in on a secret.

Kim:

Oh, no.

Lyn Slater:

This is another good part of being old. At some point, you give up the bra.

Kim:

What age?

Lyn Slater:

I've probably not worn it for the last two years.

Kim:

God bless. I'm almost there, girl.

Lyn Slater:

It's great.

Kim:

I'm almost there. Are they sagging and dragging, or you just don't even care?

Lyn Slater:

I don't care.

Kim:

You are the best guest we've ever had on the podcast. What does being an icon mean to you? That's it.

Zac:

That's the answer.

Lyn Slater:

I guess that says it. I guess I never set out to be an icon.

Kim:

Right.

Lyn Slater:

I was never comfortable.

Kim:

Can you, though? I don't think you can, really.

Lyn Slater:

No. And I guess it was a very surprising thing. I was kind of shocked by it, and I had a very mixed feelings about it. Right. Because one part of you wants to be seen, but the. But when you're seen, it comes with a lot of, you must know this sort of negative stuff.

Kim:

Yeah. People. People are. People are hurt. People are looking for attention. Yeah, you're right.

Lyn Slater:

But I think, you know, what an icon should be is somebody who's showing us sort of where we need to go in the world, right. So that it's kind. It's kind of like a beacon, somebody who can show us the way to get to where we need to go. And I think when I was being that kind of an influencer and I was helping women and young people see that being old is nothing, something so terrible, that in that way, I was being an icon. But I think, you know, icons are also sort of can be false gods. And so the celebrity part of it, I think, you know, was not something that I wanted or enjoyed. So.

Kim:

But being that beacon, being that lighthouse, that is a positive of it.

Lyn Slater:

Yes, yes.

Kim:

I love it. Okay.

Lyn Slater:

I wish it could have just stayed that way, but.

Kim:

Yeah, well, that's how us humans are. We're always looking to look up to something or somebody. Okay, here we go. Who is your celebrity crush? This is an important question.

Lyn Slater:

Okay.

Kim:

Yeah. The next two are really important. Who is your celebrity crush?

Lyn Slater:

My celebrity crushed has to be the actress Emma Thompson.

Kim:

Oh, she's. She is.

Lyn Slater:

Did you see that movie she did?

Kim:

Yes. Which one? I've seen them all.

Lyn Slater:

The one where she's an older woman and she hires a younger man to have sex with her.

Kim:

No. What movie is that girl.

Lyn Slater:

I'm not remembering the name.

Zac:

Looking this up.

Lyn Slater:

Yeah, look it up, because it's really a great, great. He teaches her that she's beautiful as an old woman.

Zac:

I think it was Matilda. I'm just kidding.

Kim:

Okay, Zac, come on. You're all.

Zac:

Taking a second.

Kim:

Lyn is being belligerent. Don't mess with Lyn.

Lyn Slater:

But I love the reason why I have crushes on actresses like her is that they don't play the game and they just let themselves be older women. They don't try to alter their appearance.

Kim:

No.

Lyn Slater:

And they're just saying, take me on my talent, take me on what I'm contributing, and they care enough about themselves to do that. So for me, I'm a fangirl.

Kim:

I love. Me, too. Now I'm gonna go watch that movie. Okay.

Zac:

Is it. Wait, is it. What's love got to do with it? Is that it?

Lyn Slater:

No, no, it is, actually. Good luck to you, Leo Grant.

Zac:

There it is. That was my next one. Good luck to you, Leo Grant. Yep.

Lyn Slater:

Okay, so I see you gotta watch that movie.

Kim:

I'm gonna binge it tonight. Here we go. I see some streaming and some popcorn, and I might be, maybe, depending on how you answer this, what's my next thing I'm gonna get for watching that movie? What's your favorite junk food? Uh huh. I did it. I said it.

Lyn Slater:

Popcorn.

Kim:

Okay, popcorn. Now, what's your like, favorite? Sweet? Uh huh.

Lyn Slater:

Um, chocolate.

Kim:

Any kind.

Lyn Slater:

I like plain old Hershey's chocolate bars.

Kim:

I do, too. I like them with the almonds, too. I like a crunch.

Lyn Slater:

The almonds are good.

Kim:

The almonds are good. Okay, this is my last riff at fire, and then I'm going to let you go. But I don't want to. But we have to stay connected. Cause you are now my celebrity crush. Now that you are old, what exciting things are you up to next, girl?

Lyn Slater:

Well, I am working very hard at being a writer at this time in my life, and it's something. I had lunch with my childhood friend. We've been friends since I was seven a couple weeks ago. And she said, you know, whenever anybody asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, you always used to say writer. Wow. And I think, you know, as these things happen in life, you know, you have to make a living so you can't be a full time writer or whatever it is. And so I realized that I need to do that before I die, that I have to do that thing. And so now I'm really putting a lot of time and attention.

Lyn Slater:

I'm really excited. I'm writing a column for our little local newspaper about how to be old, where we live. So that is how I want to be living, and I want my life to be balanced. I see my grandchildren quite a lot now because I move to be close to them and just spending time in nature, which I appreciate now, especially since the pandemic. So I want to do a life where I am having that dream realized.

Kim:

And it's never. What did you say? It's never too late to start.

Lyn Slater:

That's right. Never too late to start a dream.

Kim:

Never too late. All right, so before rapid fire is over, I'm trying something new I have a special audience rapid fire question for you to answer. Audience, what is your dream? If you're on a platform that allows you to comment, drop a comment. Just let me know what your dream is. Or if you're on QVC or Apple, head over to kimgravelshow.com and seed I send me your answer. What is your dream? And you can connect with Lyn Slater on her instagram at iconaccidental. Her website is accidentalicon.com, and you have to order her book. I'm telling you right now how to be old when it drops March 12 next week.

Kim:

You can pre order it now. Everywhere books are sold. Lyn, you belligerent thing, you. I love you.

Lyn Slater:

Thank you. This has been so fun.

Kim:

Will you come back?

Lyn Slater:

Yes, I will.

Kim:

Okay. You gotta come back.

Lyn Slater:

Maybe we'll do something where we take some of the dreams and we talk about how they could be started.

Kim:

Oh, done and done. Y'all heard that. Rapid fire. What's your dream? Drop it in the comments anywhere. You listen to this podcast, and Lyn will come back and tell you how to get it done. Hon. Thank you, Lyn. I love you.

Lyn Slater:

Thank you.

Kim:

Thanks, Lyn. All right. Lyn was amazing. Gotta have her back, Zac. Wasn't she fantastic?

Zac:

She's amazing.

Kim:

Gotta be old now. I know I need to know that.

Zac:

So I feel like I'm, you know, I'm still.

Kim:

Start now. She says, you gotta start now. You're in your thirties. You have to start now.

Zac:

I'm technically middle aged, apparently. Cause I'm 37 now. So, you know, I keep saying that. I'm dealing with that.

Kim:

I keep saying I'm middle aged. And Travis says, babe, we're not middle aged. We're over middle aged. It's not that much long. We got less life to live than we've had. I was like, oh, my God, he's so right. He's so right. Okay, whatever.

Kim:

I'm learning how to be old from Lyn, and also I learned a lot from you. Up next, we've got a listener voicemail who has some advice for a past guest that was on the show. Zac, what do we got here?

Zac:

This is really great. I'm going to play this voicemail. This is a voicemail, and she's talking about an episode we did a long time ago with a woman named Julie who you gave hot seat coaching to. Oh, I remember.

Kim:

Yeah, I remember, Julie.

Zac:

And it's just like, this is such a great voicemail because it's like, again, this community that we have is so powerful. We're all trying to help each other. Just check this out.

Kim:

Okay.

Caller:

Hi, Kim and Zac. This is Gretchen, and I just watched your last podcast, and I am calling with a suggestion for Julie. Sounds to me like she would be a great 911 dispatcher. I have been doing it for 30 years, and I walk in my calling every time I go in there and answer the phone. I take people's worst day and their crisis and make it better. And that's what we do as 911 dispatchers. It doesn't pay a lot, but it pays the bills. So if you could pass that along as a suggestion to her, she may like doing that as her next step and walking in her calling.

Caller:

And I would like to greatly thank you for helping all of us. Oh, my gosh. Bye.

Zac:

Amazing, right?

Kim:

Oh, my gosh. That is amazing. Okay. That's why you have to call in. That's why you have to email, that's why you have to stay connected. This is a community of people, mostly women, who are shoring each other up. We are those belligerent women people. We are the women out here that are loving on each other, encouraging each other to love who we are, where we're at, and this.

Kim:

We're girls girls here, including Zac. He's a girls girl, baby.

Zac:

Yeah. And if you want to leave us a message, call us. 404-913-6460 leave us a voicemail. We might play it on the show. We're going to try to do these every week. And if you want to check out that episode that she referenced, it's called help. I can't set healthy boundaries. Hot sea coaching with Julie.

Zac:

It was from, I think, October last year.

Kim:

Julie was amazing. You're amazing. Thank y'all so much. We learned so much from Liv. Make sure you go pick up her book, how to be old. It drops in March. Was it March 12? I'm thinking it was March 12.

Zac:

Yes. Something like that. Let's go with March 12. You should just pre order it right now. It's next week. It drops next week. And you should preorder it right now.

Kim:

Pre order it right now. We love you so much. And remember, be belligerent, be creative, and look, never get old. Nope. Nope. That's not what Lyn says. She's saying get old and love it. There you go.

Zac:

And don't miss your cue.

Kim:

What is my cue? Oh, that's it. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Zac:

Lyn, if you could give Kim a test actually, that would be great. I think that would be hilarious.

Kim:

Oh, my gosh. That's my new word. Zac, I'm gonna call every female in my life. Are you belligerent? That's my new word. Okay, Lyn.

Zac:

And don't forget to put powder on. Look, I'm like a reflective mess.

Kim:

No, you're not. You're not. You're not a grease ball. No.

Zac:

No greasy. No powder. Kim.

Kim:

The Kim Gravel Show is produced and edited by Zac Miller at Uncommon audio. Our associate producer is Kathleen Grant from the Brunette Exec. Production help from Emily Bredin and Sara Noto. Our cover art is designed by Sanaz Huber at Memarian Creative. Our show is edited by Mike Kligerman. Our guest intros are performed by Roxy Reese. Our guest booking is done by Central Talent booking, and I want to give a special thank you to the entire team at QVC, and thanks to you for making this community so strong. Head over to the kimgravelshow.com and sign up for our mailing list. Again, we can't do this without you, so thank you for listening, and we love.