Having What You Want Part 1 | With Kim's Sister Allisyn Lambes

*This transcript was auto-generated*

Kim Gravel: [00:00:00] Hey, y'all and welcome to LOL with Kim Gravel. This is a comedy podcast where we laugh about all the messiness of life and turn that mess into the message of competence and hope. See, my mission is to encourage and lift women up, and this show is about how. All can embrace our real sales and laugh about all the stuff that life throws our way it's crazy out here.

So let's live out loud, love out loud and laugh out loud together. All right. Back by popular demand. My sister is back, baby. She's on the podcast today and we're going to be talking about something. That we both do and have learned to do and have experienced this with each other in our lives as sisters, as best friends as manifestors.

Allisyn and I want to talk to you today about how we've manifested a lot of the great things in our lives. And how you can manifest the bad things in your life too, if you're not careful, but first [00:01:00] up Zac, you've got something for me. Ask Kim anything. I'm always excited about these questions.

Zac Miller: Hey Kim.

Kim Gravel: Hey Zac.

Zac Miller: I actually have some news. We're hitting a milestone, Kim.

Kim Gravel: Ooh, what is it?

Zac Miller: This is going to be, if this is a two-part episode, this is going to be our 51st and 52nd episode. And we've been doing the show for one year.

Kim Gravel: Time flies when you're having fun.

Zac Miller: It's that amazing. So yeah, this is the one-year anniversary of our podcast.

So thank you everybody for listening to the show, supporting the show for sure. We do this for you. It means a lot to us. Okay. Before I get to the question, I want to hear from a listener who just left us this voice. And has a question for us and we'll actually has, has more of a comment for us. And I want to see what you think about this.

Listener: Hi, Kim. Hi Zac. I don't know if I made on the show, but if I did thank you so much. I just wanted to say I absolutely loved the show. I look forward to every Thursday for a [00:02:00] new episode. I've listened to every single episode and not tired yet. But that being said, please, please, please do more along the episodes.

I just I'm always left wanting more and I, I never feel like it's enough. So if you guys can please do longer episodes so we can have more LOL with Kim Gravel and good luck to you all and keep doing what you're doing.

Kim Gravel: What a great call in. Listen, I could talk the hair off of a monkey’s butt, so I can talk.

She says she looks forward to it every Thursday. That makes my heart happy. Thank you so much.

Zac Miller: Yeah. We love that. We love to hear that and leave us a message. We love that too. Today's question was an email question from a woman named Lorraine. Okay. Who's wondering about starting a business. She asks.

Hi, Kim, I love your clothes and watching you and QVC. I'm a hairdresser and it's always been my dream to have my own salon, [00:03:00] but I'm not good with numbers. And I'm scared to start my own business. Listening to you makes me feel like I can do it, but I don't know where to start. How did you get started? And what advice do you have for women or women like me?

Kim Gravel: Lorraine. Great question. Great topic. And you can build your own salon and build your own business. I'm not really great with numbers either. Like I'm not a detail-oriented person, so I can totally relate where the same when it comes to that, the first thing you've got. Is, you've got to just write the vision down and we're talking about manifesting today on the show.

So it's just a perfect way to intro you into having your own salon. You've got to define what you want really clearly and work towards that. Um, and, and there's a part that we're going to be talking about today. A step that's really important. You can vision it, dream it, then define what you want, and then you've got to clean up the clutter.

So I don't [00:04:00] know what your circumstances is. In next steps on owning your own salon, maybe it's you rent a booth somewhere and your independent contractor, maybe it's starting a small salon in your home and you're working both in your salon and you're in your working outside of your home salon, building that clientele.

But I will tell you, you can do it. It's really smart to partner someone with someone who does know numbers in the actual business side of it. And there's so many aspects to business shell. And so I don't do what I do alone. I have a team of people. Amy, my business partner is very, I mean, her Excel spreadsheets are like maps to the golden treasure.

I mean, she is good at Excel spreadsheets, a thing of beauty. I mean, she really, it is a thing of art. It really is. It's very. Needed in our business because there's a lot of volume and a lot of colors and a lot of things. [00:05:00] So go find you an Amy go find you someone who can fulfill their purpose in that kind of organizational aspect of your business.

But more importantly, you've got to understand why and what you want in the best way. For, for me to say it in a, in a nutshell is you have to know the why of, of your salon. So. For us in, in what we do with all of the bell brands, our tagline, our mission statement, what we're trying to do, the why behind what we do is we want women to believe in their own beauty externally, internally.

So before you even begin to dream about the name of your salon, the logo, how many chairs you want, you know, all of that, get that mission statement written down because. Without a vision people perish. So you've got to get that vision and get the why behind it before you can even take a step. [00:06:00] That's the first thing you need to do.

Lorraine. I want you to do that as you're listening to it this Thursday, I want you to get out a pen and paper and really think about what you would do. That's bigger than you in this salon. Wow. And there's something about defining. That the next step opens the next door, opens the next path that you're supposed to be on it.

It will come. It will find you if you know what you want to do. I love it. And when people say I have a dream to be a singer, or I have a dream to be an actress, or I have a dream to fill in the blank. You Miss Georgia, right? Well, not even that, but people are more vague than that. People say I want to be a singer.

I want to be a great mom. I want to, I want to meet somebody. You've got to be specific. Lorraine. Let me give you an example. I want to open a salon. I'm just using my, my circumstances where I'm at. I want to open a salon in Georgia by [00:07:00] January of 2023. How specific is that? My mission when I opened the salon is to have every woman leaving there, feeling beautiful.

So when you get very specific about that dream, it becomes more real. And that, that makes sense. Totally actionable. So that's your homework Lorraine. So hit us back with an email. Let us know if you've done that. Cause I'm curious to know a what the vision is. What's your mission statement is and be how specific have you been about your new salon.

Because I believe it's coming for you.

Zac Miller: And if you want to learn it, give us a call so we can hear your voice, please. And if you want your question answered on the show, then call, leave him a voicemail. The number is 4 0 4 9 1 3 6 4 6. It turns out you can also text that number. Cause someone texted me today.

Kim Gravel: I love it.

Zac Miller: And it was really funny. She was like, I've never listened to a podcast before, but I found your [00:08:00] podcast and I wanna listen to more. How do I get a podcast? Like she had no idea. It was really funny. It was cute. I texted her back and I told her. You can also email your questions to lolwithkimgravel@gmail.com.

And when we come back, we're going to bring in Allisyn.

Okay. We

Kim Gravel: are back, like I said earlier, we're back with Allisyn, my sister my BFF. One of the best people I know. Hey girl.

Allisyn Lambes: Hey, how you doing this morning?

Kim Gravel: Good. Welcome back to the podcast. So I just love that I backed by popular demand.

Allisyn Lambes: You people are smart, whatever whoever's listening out there.

You're smart.

Kim Gravel: So we're going to talk something about today. Allisyn, that you've heard me talk about a lot and that we've, we've practiced a lot called manifestation. Tell everybody listening what you think. Well, what, what that [00:09:00] means to you, because, you know, tell me what you think. And then I'm going to piggyback on.

Allisyn Lambes: Manifestation. How I live it out. Think it out, whatever you want to call it. I really don't fate much. I just do. I'm one of those. I think, I don't know. I've just always felt like if you believe something in your head and you keep telling yourself that over and over and you get up every day with that, that goal in mind.

You just lived that and that, that becomes what you want. I don't know. You've always said you, I know, but you've always done it and didn't know you were doing, you know, and I give a prime example. That's why you're here before you give an example. Go ahead. Yeah, that's what it means to me.

Kim Gravel: Let me just start kicking it off.

What I mean by manifestation, because that's a really weird word. And people sometimes [00:10:00] think it is like new age and, you know, it's some type of religious thing or whatever. I don't want to complicate the issue. Manifestation really is belief. And I think you're right also when you say it starts in, it's a mindset is a way of looking at things.

Now I will say to you, everybody listening, I'm going to give you some tips and tricks on how to manifest things about Amy. My very best friend. I've never committed a fish. You manifest everything well, she does too. She doesn't realize she's doing it. Okay. So part of it is just being able to recognize what manifesting is.

Um, and it's not some new age weirdo thing or some religious thing. It really is just, it really is just a part of being creative beings. I believe being co-creators with the Lord and when it comes to with God with our lives. So that's how I've always looked at it. And I remember when I started really putting thought to [00:11:00] what that means.

16 years old, I was in high school and I got ahold of this book called the Magic of Believing. It's a really, it's a really hard read meaning for those of you who are avid readers and a really highly intellectual, when it comes to book smarts, it'll be a breeze for you. I'm sure. But for me, it was one of those where I had to read it.

And sometimes Allisyn, when you read a sentence and you're reading, do you have to go back and reread it and go what did I just read?

A million

Allisyn Lambes: times.

Kim Gravel: Okay. So that's either ADHD or our comprehension level is in the toilet. So that was this book for me. I would go and reread it and reread the line and still not understand what it was saying.

So if you, if you're interested in this thing we're talking about, manifestation, go grab this book The Magic of Believing, but I remember reading it and thinking there's gotta be something to this. Not only biblical, but I think it's just a law of nature of sorts that we're always creating. Okay.

So, you know, and that could be in a [00:12:00] bad way. You can manifest things in a really bad way, or you can manifest the really great things for yourself, but it's, it's really not about I'm going to wish it and it's going to happen. There are some actual steps and common-sense ways to go about manifesting. A couple of disclaimers here, and then Allisyn, I'm going to talk, I don't want you to explain some of the things that you have been able to do this, and didn't even know you were doing it.

Okay. A couple of things I want to give a disclaimer on this is not a magic genie wand where you can just rub it the right way and it comes on out out and says, your wish is my command. I've never, it's never worked for me like that. It is also works in the negative and works in the positive. So be careful.

What you were speaking out and what's your thinking about because thoughts are things, thoughts are things and words live. So if you say I am fat, I am fat. I am fat. [00:13:00] Those words get up into sulfa to get up in the walls, to get up in your DNA. And you start believing that about yourself and therefore your body follows your mind. So, you know, the mind doesn't know, is that a good thing or a bad thing? It just does the thing. So you've gotta be careful what you speak out. The mommy's tells how they don't say that don't speak those words. She just said she was, don't give the enemy any ammunition.

Allisyn Lambes: That is it.

Kim Gravel: Yeah. So, I mean, there's a lot of different ways to come at this. We're going to come at it from a very, just, you know, almost not scientific, cause we're not scientific, but almost just from personal experience of how this has worked for, for me personally. So I started when I was about 16 and I want it to be Miss Georgia. Now, when you have to understand that me being miss Georgia was pretty much Allisyn becoming a Victoria Secret swimsuit model right now.

Allisyn Lambes: Don't ever say never. Okay.

Kim Gravel: Well you are a swimsuit...

Allisyn Lambes: I'm a swimsuit model. [00:14:00]

Kim Gravel: Well Victoria Secret, that's a little different.

Allisyn Lambes: Right.

Kim Gravel: So you see what I'm saying? I mean, I don't mean that in a negative way, people are gonna laugh their tails off.

So, you know, I'm not saying that I'm just saying. Uh, Miss Georgia was not really something that if you would have looked talk to me or been around me to think, oh yeah, that she's, that she, I can do that.

Allisyn Lambes: Can I just say that's 100% the truth? Like girl, you, she didn't even, it's like, you know that whole little saying one doesn't look like the other.

One doesn't fit. I mean, you did, you fit perfect. But I'm saying you didn't.

Kim Gravel: I remember calling mom from high school on a payphone. I was 16. I was a junior in high school and I called mom on a payphone. And for those of you who remember you pay phones in quarters, okay.

There was one in the high school cafeteria. And I said, mom, I'm going to be Miss Georgia. [00:15:00] No way girl she'll deny it, but she said it. She said you had that short hair. She was, oh, you will never win that. Ain't your thing, honey. That is not your gifting. I remember her saying that and I thought, I didn't believe her because I'm just that opposite was just that stubborn and total pushback from mom.

But I started thinking and believing and working towards becoming Miss Georgia, when I was 16.

Zac Miller: Had you done pageants?

Allisyn Lambes: No, never. She wasn't a pageant girl.

Kim Gravel: Thank you, Allisyn, for thank you for backing me up with that because you were not. No, but this is the first thing I really manifested in my life was the crown of Miss Georgia. And I tell this whole story in the book that I'm writing, because it's so important not to say, oh my gosh, it's Miss America, who gives a rip about that?

I was able to bring that about with the help of the Lord's will and we'll get into. In a very real way. So I know manifestation works [00:16:00] now. It's not a magic pill and it takes time. Some things come very fast, some things don't, and I'll tell some stories where things really happen quickly when it comes to manifestation.

But Allisyn, what is one thing that you have experienced like what I did when I was 16 heading towards being Miss Georgia.

Allisyn Lambes: I manifested my husband.

Kim Gravel: I know he's here today. We're gonna talk to him a little bit later.

Allisyn Lambes: I've manifested my job is I didn't even realize, like you said, like Amy doesn't realize she's doing it.

Some of the things that I have to look back on and say, oh, well, that's why I was so persistent there. Or I was doing this or making that choice. You know what I'm saying? Like, Because I was manifesting accidentally manifested, and then there's things that I've just manifested it to happen. Right. You know what I'm saying?

I mean, different jobs throughout my life and like, yeah, I'm going to go get that. I remember sitting in a leasing office as a little leasing [00:17:00] agent for an apartment. And I remember saying to myself, I was 20 years old. A total idiot, total, but I was just making it day to day. But.

Sitting there going looking the first day I got there, I'm like, okay, I'm going to lease all these apartments already know that I'm going to talk to all these people. They gonna love me. I'm going to build relationships. And after I do that, they're going to want me to be the assistant manager.

And then after that, I'm going to get her job. But she was the manager sitting in the corner and about a year and a half later I had her job. And then I said, you know what? It's just not. So that for me, I want to be the training and marketing director for the whole company. Mind you, I have no college degree.

I want to talk to you all because now you've got to kind of have a college degree to get to these places. But I had no college degree. I just said to myself on the first day of work, I'm a get her job. How do I do that? And I was very driven by money still. I am, um, that's one thing, [00:18:00] people. Kim says it all the time.

I'll work hard for a good bonus. Now I'll work hard. I don't even know if it's just about the money. It's the reaching it, right? It's the goal. It's the goal for me. That's like the big thing for me, but, um, I said I'm gonna have her job. And then after I had her job and I got an assigned to be the training and marketing direct for the whole company.

And they came to me two years after I'd been there and I was already a national marketing training director, right. Flying all over , you know, doing all this stuff. And then I said, well, now I want to be a regional manager. Cause I've never done that. I want to do that too. I mean, I'm a little 20 something year old girl out there humping it, making it happen.

But in my mind, even on day one, I knew. I was like, yeah, I'm going to get that job something inside of me. What do you call that? A drive a, um,

Kim Gravel: It's a belief.

Allisyn Lambes: A belief I knew. I knew I [00:19:00] could. I don't know. That's, that's clean. I say this a lot. How I knew I could.

Kim Gravel: Well, I'm going to say this, that in, and it's going to be funny, but there's a little bit of truth to this, but because Allisyn I've seen her do this over and over and over again, she didn't even know she was doing it.

Ignorance is a little bit blissful. So. The not knowing you'd not okay. The not knowing that you're not supposed to be there is just as valuable as knowing you're supposed to be there. Oh, say that again. Come on. Let me say that again. As date, the not knowing you're not supposed to be, there is just as valuable as knowing you should be there.

Do y'all get what I'm saying.

Allisyn Lambes: Yes, 100%.

Kim Gravel: And I call that a little bit of delusion and a little bit of, a little bit of, um, that's where dreaming meets manifestation equals success, because [00:20:00] we are so conditioned to look around us and fear believe or expect the loss. We are not conditioned to look.

And expect and embrace the winds. Hmm. Y'all need to hear me now. This is deep. So you will have to just get out your highlighter marker in your mind and listen to what I'm saying. I wanted to have Allisyn on the podcast today because I knew a thousand percent. There's a little bit of delusion when it comes to Allisyn.

That is very, very. And I've never heard anybody talk about this. Interesting. You've got Amy Travis. I've dealt with people that are Harvard MBAs. I've dealt with people who are, you know, local teachers. I've dealt with all types of dignitaries, famous people, people who are uber successful in business. And the [00:21:00] one underlying thing.

That I have seen in both big success, small success. Success is success is manifestation. Whether they knew they were doing it or where they knew they had no clue what they were doing. So why I wanted to do this podcast today is because I want to give you some practical ways to, to really.

Purposefully manifest cause accidental manifestations. Fantastic. But when you can hone that to a place where you can teach your children, you can exercise it in your own life. It just adds so much value in so much in it's beyond belief, because a lot of people say, believe in yourself, believe in yourself, but yeah.

What does that look like? How do you do that? People ask me how I came. How do you have such a strong faith? You have to work at it. Everything's works. Right. And I'm not talking about work. Like now, let, let, let me, I'm a go live date and this might be too deep that I can cut it out. Whatever. So let's [00:22:00] define work because work work is, oh God, I shouldn't even be going here, but I'm gonna go here and we can cut it out of it.

That makes sense. So it, there's a scripture in the Bible where I think it's David and he says, why don't I do the things I know I should do? And I do the things I know I should. Yeah. And that's kind of like, it sounds like common sense, but why do we do the things in our life that keep us busy that keep us wrapped up that keep us, and I'm not talking about just like, you know, if you're drinking too much or eating too much, I'm not talking about just the bad things.

I'm just talking about the busy-ness of life. Well, we can't be still and really use our minds to point it in the direction or focus in on what we should be doing with our lives. So manifestation builds confidence. I said this in the book in a world where everybody is identifying as. Something, [00:23:00] someone, you know, we all identify as something, whether it's, you know, I'm a mom, you know, I'm an addict, recovering addict.

I'm a, I'm a, you know, um, I mean, everybody's trying to identify as something. I want to challenge that and say, who are you putting your identity in? Because it starts with, it's not identifying as it's putting your identity in. So you say, how does that equal manifestation? So when you realize that you are not an external being your internal, that everything starts within everything starts with that still small voice.

That is, that's how my faith is so strong because it is the Lord. It is God. It is, it is. I, my identity is found in him because if you, if your identity is found outside [00:24:00] of yourself, if you were identifying as, oh, I can't, I can't get into it. So if I get into it, it's to like it, I like where you go and says, identifying as something.

It's what you believe about yourself. Find out, identifying in is what God believes about you. So when you flip that script, okay. And you start understanding is God in you working through you and you find your identity in him, you become the ultimate manifestor you become the co-creator of your. So, let me say that again.

When you're identifying, as that is telling you what you believe about you, when you identify in him that tells you what he believes about you, which is way more, which is way more better than what you believe about yourself. Okay. So, [00:25:00] so once you understand that that's where Allisyn's coming from. You know, she called it drive.

She called it. Um, what did you call it?

Allisyn Lambes: It's deep within. It's a deep within feeling.

Kim Gravel: But that's because you, you're not trying to do it within your own strength. You're not trying to do it. You're not sitting there going, I'm the greatest. I'm going to be able to do this again. That delusion pays off some you're saying God's got it.

I'm just going to enjoy reap the benefits.

Allisyn Lambes: 100. Been like that my whole life. And even in the hard times. Because when I say I manifested my husband, I literally, and you may not even know this because you know, there's just some things you do. Tell everybody it's not because you don't want to tell them it just doesn't ever get brought up.

But there were sometimes, and in my previous marriage and I'm not downing my ex husband, we split in a very amicable way. We text today. I mean, it's not like, you know, but what he brought to a [00:26:00] relationship and what he thought he needed to bring was not what I thought, you know? So we were on different pages like that together.

We were very toxic to each other, but I would lay on my couch.

Kim Gravel: Come on now. Now you're speaking to a lot of women, listen to this.

Allisyn Lambes: I would lay on my couch and this was probably the last two full years we were married. I slept on the couch or he slept on the couch. Okay. And I would lay on that couch.

I'll never forget. And I would talk to God and I would cry and cry and say, God, I know that there is somebody in this world for him. And I know there is somebody for me.

Kim Gravel: Stop right there. Stop right there. Why did you say it that way? Cause that's very healthy and it's very mature.

Zac Miller: It's also positive.

Kim Gravel: That's my point. I loved that you said that.

Allisyn Lambes: I don't know because I want the best for him [00:27:00] too. I don't want. 'cause, I'm not that kind of person that would want anybody to be alone, not a perfect person.

Kim Gravel: Why at that time, did you feel that way? That this, cause this is key to manifestation.

Here we go. You just, my first little point here.

Allisyn Lambes: What, what are you, why me, why?

Kim Gravel: The, why I'm asking is how could you, and why did you sit there and want the best for him and the best for you and know that there's that out there for you both?

Allisyn Lambes: Because I deserve it and he deserves it. Um, I deserve that everybody deserves that everybody deserves a partner in life.

You should get that chance. Everybody should get that chance how to partner. Yeah. But, but I'm talking about that was going to bring to the, to the relationship when I was bringing to, does that make sense?

Kim Gravel: I just liked how you said you sat on the couch and you said, I know there's something, someone for him and someone for me. That's coming from a place of maturity. I see it's beyond belief. [00:28:00] That's, that's, that's a knowing. It's a knowing it's a fundamental, it's a basic, it's a foundational piece right there.

Allisyn Lambes: I never looked at it that way.

Kim Gravel: That's a very confident place to come from. Okay. Keep going.

Allisyn Lambes: Yeah. 100%. We are talking about 17 years we were married by the way. Married for 17 years. And I want to tell you right now, what I'm saying is I manifested Sean D Lambes.

Kim Gravel: I know, but I don't want to skip this over because you were, you were creating that identity that I was talking about you. You were saying, I and am him and everyone deserves love.

Allisyn Lambes: Yes.

Kim Gravel: Don't you think that's an innate human. I don't care what color you are, what size you are, what age you are. I don't give a rip about any of that. That is that you think that is one thing that connects us all, is that we all [00:29:00] look for that.

Allisyn Lambes: Yes, I do. I believe it does connect us all. I believe that everybody should feel that way. You know, nobody should feel, you know, like they don't deserve the very best.

Kim Gravel: But people do.

Allisyn Lambes: But every day, Kim, I talked to people every day like that.

And I'll tell you it would've been really easy for me to be that person. If y'all it would've been really easy, like the rest of half of America, can I just be, it would have been really easy just to say, you know what? I'm suppressed. I'm going to go into a show for five years. I'm not going to date. I'm not going to do anything.

I hate all men. You know what I'm saying? It would've been really easy for me to go down that path. And, but, but what does that look like for me and what I want for my life and that, that, no.

Kim Gravel: So you visualized, you saw it.

Allisyn Lambes: Oh, I didn't see it to be this good, but I knew it was going to be good once I got here.

Kim Gravel: That's my first thing is you've got to [00:30:00] visualize what you want and see what you want. Well, that's where it started for you there.

Allisyn Lambes: 100%, but now, okay. And then for shots, I'm saying it started on my couch. I manifested Sean, which was in my mind. Y'all know what I said. I'm like, I have a top 3. Okay.

Okay. Top three is you have to love the Lord, because without that, I had to have that in the middle of my marriage. Because I was not in a Christ centered marriage, so I knew I had to have the opposite of that. I said, I want somebody who is more compassionate than I am because I'm not a compassionate person.

I'm just not, I'm a real, suck it up. Kind of girl, put on your big girl panties and make it happen, sister, with whatever you got.

Kim Gravel: But you require a lot of compassion.

Allisyn Lambes: But I don't give it so, no, I do. I'm getting better about it. You rubbed off a little bit. She rubbed off on me, computer and my husband have rubbed off on me.

Um, so he is, uh, and, and, you know, I always, in the back of my mind, [00:31:00] funny, I always wanted a Teddy bear kind of husband.

Kim Gravel: A dad body kind of husband?

Allisyn Lambes: I just wanted a big Teddy bear that was going to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything was going to be okay and love Jesus and loves our kids. And, you know, I just want all the time, my entire life, I only wanted that.

And then that's okay that it took me that long to get there. It was well worth the wait. But yeah, with the Lord, Kim, I co partnered with God, co-created and listened to him because it would have been written and listened to myself too, because it would have been really easy just to say, yeah, screw man.

Kim Gravel: Okay. So you visualized on your couch and then you, you, you were specific about what you were looking for.So here's your steps to visualize these specific. And then what did you have to do after that?

Allisyn Lambes: You have to take steps. Because you have to meet okay. To me. You have to meet God in the middle.

[00:32:00] Okay. So I've always lived by the statement of, oh God, I'll help you, but you got to meet him halfway.

Kim Gravel: And how did you, how did you take that next step?

Allisyn Lambes: I put myself out there.

Kim Gravel: No, no. I want to say something because this is good. So you, you, you visualize that's my first number one. Oh, and we can recap on this. You visualize.

You define what you're looking for, what you wanting. And the next step is you got to clean up your clutter. So you did that. So your clutter was your financial situation.

Allisyn Lambes: My six months of just going off the grid and doing what I wanted, I went through that whole life. There was six months in the middle of my divorce that I was just like, okay, I'm going to go out with all my friends to Atlanta.

I'm going to sew my wild oats for six months.

Kim Gravel: I'm not saying we don't want you to do that people.

Allisyn Lambes: My transition time was a learning time.

Zac Miller: Steps four, five and six are questionable steps.

Kim Gravel: So [00:33:00] we're not talking about money, but that step was necessarily trying to get everybody off on a tangent. But after you went and had your party time, you had to clean up your clutter, you had to get your finances straight. You had to get your business plan together.

You had to realize, how am I going to make it in the world with or without somebody, right? So, because when I say clean up the clutter. If you manifest, you visualize, and then you, you define what you want, but then this is where the work comes in. So there's a lot of, lot of us who cannot get to the next level because we're holding on to old things.

We're not making room for the new blessings in our life. We're holding onto old. A lot of times, God will shut a door. Now the saying is when God closes a door, he opens up a window. I don't believe that. When God closes a door, baby, he builds a new building warehouse, eight stories, [00:34:00] 10,000 square feet.

You're thinking too small, nine times out of 10. Now the reason you're thinking small is because you're holding on to past garbage mess, baggage, or old things that has been done. You, you have to clean up the clutter. You have to clear out those cobwebs in your mind when you visualize it, like Allisyn did, and then you identified what you wanted.

You said, this is what I want it to look like. Then of course, if you're Alice and you go off a six months.

Allisyn Lambes: Didn't mean that. Can we have, can we go back to that? I did this just between y'all I did. Okay. I was six months living my best life.

Let me tell you this.

Okay. So, but listen, when you said you had to clean out the clutter, right? That had to clean out my old stinking thinking that's when you know, which was Kim, which was that I'm not good [00:35:00] enough, right. To have love. Right. I'm not good enough. I'm not a good enough mom. I'm not a good enough wife. I don't do enough jobs.

You know, I'm not, you know, when I got out of that stinking thinking. Is is when I kind of cleared the clutter. So the playing field could be level again, to be able to meet someone and accept someone new.

Kim Gravel: Because when you hold onto the old ways, the old thinking's the past, you can't make, you don't have enough room for the new.

Now that's when a lot of people stall, pause, fade out right there. Um, step three, you know, when you visualize. And then you define what you want, the clean up the clutter. You don't ever hear anyone talk about that? No, cause in that's the toughest, it's not even working hard. Something actually in, I was trying to get there earlier and I'll get there here in a minute.

It's not even like, we love it to do lists. We love to check it off and feel accomplished. And I mean, we're not, I don't think people are afraid of hard work. They're [00:36:00] afraid of the tough work when it comes to their mental outcome. People don't have a problem going in accomplishing things. Oh, I went to the grocery, I made a great recipe.

I did eight hours of work to do list is checked off. I've done. People have no problem accomplishing. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about doing the work of the mind, getting that mindset, right. That's where people miss out on manifestation because they get stalled right there. You have to let go of your old way of thinking.

I think I need that. Everybody does think and thinking it'll get you it's beyond stinking thinking. I mean, it is cause that's the big, old little cute saying, but it's, it's, it's a rut. You in a ditch and you see it every time you try to crop that, did you slide back down? So. I mean, this could be anything.

It was for you. Allisyn listen, finding a relationship.

Allisyn Lambes: I feel like we've all been there. Come on. I mean, let's just speak to the fact. [00:37:00] Yes. We're talking. We talk about how less we are. We've manifested. Yes. Life is wonderful. I'm not saying it is, but there have been some really big valleys. Okay. I mean, I've been a train wreck.

Kim Gravel: And the valleys are going to come and I'm not saying it's not going to be valley time. But what I'm saying is how are you thinking, why you're in the valley, don't pay don't muddle around, tell you something don't muddle around in it, full throttle. Stop here. Listen to what I'm saying.

If it is not good yet, then it is not done yet. If you have not received that desire, that knowing that you deserved love. Or you, you wanted that career or you wanted whatever, the thing you want to manifest, if you don't have it in its entirety in a good [00:38:00] way than it is not complete. Let me give you an example, Amy, she's single and she does desperately want a partner, a husband in life.

And she says, well, maybe it's just not for me. I said, do you still want it yes. Than an a done. And it's not for you. God is not a torturous evil mean I'm going to stick it to you punish you. God, not at all. This is where people don't get this. Now he might say, it's not time. I got more for you than what you're asking.

So I got to work some things out. Or if he does say, no, this is not for you. He'll change the desire of your heart. That's it. He's not cruel. Everybody's sitting out here listened. They go, God's cruel knowing that. You got change the way you thinking about it. So if you're in the valley right now, change the way you're looking at the valley.

The valley is there to teach you to reach you, to stretch you, to pause you, to start with a little bit of gratitude, because we're [00:39:00] going to get down to gratitude here now. So clean up the clutter, when you're holding onto the old ways of thinking, you're not making room enough for the new, and you did that.

Allisyn, you really flipped the script waiting for Sean. And you got a hold of your finances. You bought a cute little home.

Allisyn Lambes: It was a big deal. Big honkin deals. Kim. I remember that was a big deal. I love that little house. I loved that little white and it was in, you know.

Kim Gravel: It's fun painting that, remember we went and all painted this and we made it such a home.

Allisyn Lambes: I know. And that was the first home that I ever owned on our own. I mean, it was just a, that was a big deal, big deal. And remember we had to wait like months for it. Um, I think it was like a six month period. They actually let me talk, talking about manifestation. Let's back up here because that little house.

It needed to be redone on the inside. It smelled, it looked terrible, free paint, but it was cheap and it was affordable and it was in maps. The school district that Brooks went to, [00:40:00] because I didn't want to take him out of his school and his dad was moving back to another county. So, um, we found this house right.

Now look, I couldn't afford anything else. This was a little, when I say it was a, not a repo. What do you call houses that are, um, foreclosure. I'm sorry. It was a foreclosure repo. It was a repo house. Somebody repoed it anyways. Um, It was a foreclosure house. Now look, when houses are on foreclosure and you're buying it from the bank, they do not sit on the house.

Okay. They're going to say, we need your money so you can move into it. Right. There's a lot of bits to. That. And I kept saying to my house, not, this is going to be, my home is perfect. We found the perfect home. It's in the school district. My son can stay in for the next two years. Neighborhood had police officers living all around me.

I mean, it was fantastic. Loved it. Do you know that, that bank now, look, this is unheard of held that cause I [00:41:00] couldn't get the settlement from selling the house next husband and I lived in until we sold the house. Okay. So. He was still living in it, but was going to move out. So it stayed on the market for six months.

Do you know the bank held that house for me for six solid months? No, that's, that's unheard of. Do you understand? People just don't do that. It just doesn't happen that way. And that's, I mean, I kept saying this up, I was like, Nope, it's going to be fine. They're going to keep holding it. They're gonna keep holding the house.

And my dad's like, honey, they're not going to keep holding it. He was very doubtful. And he was like, why don't you let me ride, even dad, let me write you a check. And then you just pay. And I'm like, Nope, I didn't want my dad doing that member Kim. I was like, Nope, I'm not doing it. Well, this is, this is where you manifested that even that little home.

Kim Gravel: Yeah. But that's when you really started asking for divine, come on. That was the time where I remember were dad was like, let me just do. [00:42:00] Get you in Brookes, smooth, get you settled. And you go now and you really trusted something bigger than yourself, which is God. That was the point in time where you were like sleeping on couches, trying to figure out what your next step was.

You were preparing, you were, you were cleaning out the clutter. You were, we were doing some work to prepare, but that was when you really fully, a thousand percent leaned in and trust. Agreed. And that is, you have to have that to manifest.

Allisyn Lambes: You have to, you've got to have big faith. Y'all I had to say big faith.

It's gotta be big. And, and, and whatever. Maybe it's from my life experiences. Maybe it's watching my mama, you know, my whole life. My mom just be like, you can do whatever you want out. Do it go, girl, you won't be there. So you want to do that Kim? Same with you. Y'all do whatever y'all can do whatever you want to do.

But I never really gave me a doubt.

Kim Gravel: I do believe you can do whatever you want to do. Now people said we, Kim, no, you can't. Can't do that. I'm talking about, you can do [00:43:00] whatever you want to do. Not what Oprah did or not what Magic Johnson did or Michael Jordan did. I mean, comparing yourself to other people.

What do you really want? Allisyn really wanted a magical, amazing love in her life. What she got, what she really wanted. I want to be very firm in that. Does that make sense? Is everybody hearing me?

This was just part one of our conversation about manifesting. You're going to have to tune in next week to part two, we couldn't just shove all of this in one show, right? Zac.

Zac Miller: No we're going to really get into it in part two and it gets pretty silly. It does. I haven't laughed so hard at a show.

Kim Gravel: I will bring Allisyn's husband, the Teddy bear husband. She manifested Sean. He will be on the show. He'll do the rapid-fire questions and things get a little crazy, but always in [00:44:00] good fun. We just want you to laugh, love and live out loud, live your best life and manifest while you're doing it, because it really does work. Until next week.

Love y'all.

So many people help make the show possible. LOL is produced and edited by Zac Miller at Uncommon Audio. Our associate producer is Kathleen Grant at Brunette Exec. Production help from Emily Bredin. Our cover artist designed by Sara Noto and Taco Pella performs our theme music. Make sure to follow and subscribe to the show and head to lolkim.com to sign up for our mailing list.

Thanks for listening. We love you.