Everyone encounters fear and self-doubt as they build their lives and follow their dreams. Because that’s inevitable, developing the right perspective is key. Pain and struggle exist, but they can serve you if you let them.
According to Kim Gravel, fear, self-doubt, pain, and struggle can point you in the right direction or strengthen you for what’s coming.
She’s lived it.
On a recent episode of the Kim Gravel Show, Kim shared the story of her last book release experience. The day before and the of the release, Zac said, Kim was “frankly, a mess.”
“I was miserable,” Kim said.
Zac flew into Atlanta to produce the book release show, and Kim’s sister called him to say Kim was so stressed, she didn’t think she’d come to the show.
“To your credit,” Zac said, “you showed up. You showed up when you needed to, and you delivered, and it was great.”
Nevertheless, Zac pointed out that it was a struggle for Kim to do so, and he asked her why.
“Fear,” she said. “Fear grips you in a way no one can see and experience, but you and about you. Fear is a constant frenemy because it can serve you, but it can also paralyze you.”
Most often, our fear relates to what we consider our biggest struggle, or what we believe is our biggest flaw.
For Kim, that’s communication—and it related to her book release because her book shares her story. “That’s a big gift for me, and I know that and I’m good with that. But when it’s about you telling the world your story … I was scared to death I would not be received well.”
Although Kim is on her podcast and TV regularly, the book release show was just her on display, and had her asking, “Am I good enough?”
“No, I’m not. I’m really not. You will never be good enough in your own eyes. Go ahead and accept that.”
Our gifts can feel like burdens, she said. Fame, success, and money can be heavy loads to carry—but the world needs the gifts we have.
So many people are struggling with so many things: disease, mental health, relationships, parenting, aging parents—fill in the blank.
“But if you will listen to a little piece of this, and … catch a bit of this perspective,” she said, maybe looking at it through a different lens will help you see that it’s there to point you in the right direction or strengthen you for what’s coming.
Zac pointed out that Kim achieved her success later in life, and asked how her perspective has shifted—what her experiences have unlocked for her.
“Success is not one plus one equals two,” she said. “It’s not a formula.”
When Kim suggests preparing for what’s coming and for success, she doesn’t necessarily mean lining out the steps you’ll take.
“Real preparation is experience,” she said. “And experience is not education. Education is knowing things. Experience is living them.”
Those people who have had so much life experience, Kim said, must be being prepared for something “really, really impactful.”
She shared the story of her esthetician, a young woman who is “a powerhouse of personality and gifting.”
“She is like a cat in a knapsack,” Kim said, “just fighting, trying to get out, get more, be more, accomplish.”
The advice Kim shared with her: “Honey, this is your preparation. Do you know how long I was preparing to launch my brands at forty-six? I’ve been doing it since I was 19.”
“She looked at me like, ‘Are you kidding me right now?’”
Kim told her, “You’ve got to shift the way you’re thinking. This is the preparation for what is coming. So just calm down, kitty cat in that knapsack. Just calm on down and lay there. Let the sack open. And when it’s time, you’ll just crawl right on out of that thing and walk.”
“All of that is how you look at it. It’s a shift of what we’re looking at and how we’re looking at it,” she said.
A podcast listener wrote in to Kim, expressing her fear of public speaking, and saying she hoped God would help change that fear for her.
Kim commented that public speaking and death—in that order—are humans’ top two fears. People would rather die than speak in public.
“If you’re getting called on and if you’re feeling the urge to speak, you probably have something really good to say, and that fear is silencing you from making that impact when you are scared.”
Her advice: “Say somebody calls on you and you are scared to speak, the first thing out of your mouth [could be], ‘Hello everyone. I’m scared to death to be up here right now.’ When you state or speak out the thing you’re fearful of, it immediately connects with other people. Communication is all about connection.”
With age, Kim said, it’s gotten easier to make that shift when something unexpected happens. For example, In late September and early October 2024 when US port workers threatened to go on strike, Kim could have worried because her products would be coming in on ships. But instead, she looked at the potential strike as an opportunity for other people and businesses to insert their products into the market when they hadn’t had a shot before.
No matter what happens, Kim said, remember that you are on God’s time. When the time comes for Him to elevate and promote, He will. In the meantime, He puts you to work. Say “yes” to the opportunities that come along. Focus on what you can do, what you have, what you want to do … and hone your perspective so you can find the preparation in every experience.
The Kim Gravel Show is a top women’s lifestyle podcast where Kim shares her message of confidence and encouragement with a side of laughter and fun. The show features inspiring, topical conversations with thought leaders, CEOs, and celebrities tailored to give listeners the insight they need to help them discover their purpose, find their confidence, and love who they are. On each episode Kim tackles the topics that women care about in a way that will make you laugh, make you think, and help you see your life in a new, more positive way.
The Kim Gravel Show is a celebration of the stories that shape us. It's about laughing together and not taking ourselves too seriously. It's about the wisdom we've gathered and the hardships we've overcome. It's about looking at the woman you see in the mirror and remembering that she is beautiful inside and out. This is a show about remembering that no matter what you’ve been through you can love who you are right now.
Y’all, life is hard, but we can do it together.
