Everyone experiences some form of self-doubt. It’s part of the human experience. Self-doubt can come up around our looks, our career success, our relationships, and more.
Kim Gravel believes we’re all on this journey to be enough and feel enough. Although it may not feel like it, a little bit of self-doubt on this journey lets you know you’re on the right track. But we don’t have to get bogged down in it.
Maria McCool, who Kim considers her kindred spirit when it comes to self-love, recently joined Kim Gravel on The Kim Gravel Show and shared her tips for redirecting ourselves when we experience self-doubt so that we can move forward with confidence—and feel beauty brave.
Maria is the author of Becoming Beauty Brave: the Bold Makeover, and Founder and CEO of Calista, a brand that makes hair products and tools for quick, effective transformations that bring out the best in all of their uniquely beautiful customers. She is an entrepreneur, on-air presenter at QVC, professional hairstylist, and huge believer in self-love. Through Calista, it’s Maria’s mission to help all women love themselves and feel brave about their beauty or, as she calls it, beauty brave.
From the time Maria McCool gave her first makeover at age 12, she knew she was going to be a stylist: someone who created transformation and empowered others to feel brave and beautiful.
The day arrived when Maria and her best friend from first grade, Mary, were supposed to attend their first boy-girl party. Mary’s parents had recently gotten divorced, which wasn’t the norm in their social circle.
Mary told Maria she wasn’t going to go to that boy-girl party—she didn’t feel like herself. Maria decided then and there that she’d help Mary feel like her most beautiful, brave self. So they went to the store, got a home perm, and went home to do the perm and a haircut.
Mary was the belle of the ball … and that’s when Maria knew she was going to be a stylist: her work had changed Mary’s outlook. She signed up for beauty school at age 14. Although Maria’s parents wanted her to go to college, they eventually realized she was so passionate about becoming a stylist that they let her continue beauty school.
As a stylist, Maria said that often when her clients sit down in her chair and she asks them what they want to do with their hair, they immediately focus on what they don’t like about their look.
They might say they’re looking old, or they have a big nose, or they don’t feel good that day.
Maria likes to turn that around—to take the focus off the negative and put it on what’s good.
“I’ll be like, ‘Okay, we had our fun. Enough dissing on ourselves. Let’s talk about the good, because that’s what I’m going to work with.”
“You’ve had your two-minute soapbox. Now let’s take a look. You’re gorgeous.”
One point Maria makes is that no one see us like we see ourselves. Maria tells her clients, “Every single person I now looks at you and thinks you’re the most beautiful woman they’ve seen.”
With that in mind, she helps her clients focus on their best assets—their eyes, their smile, their hair.
After years of working as a stylist and a competitive stylist, Maria opened her own salon. Once she started having children, she started concocting products to fill needs she saw as a stylist. One of the QVC hosts, Jill Bauer, was Maria’s client and loved one of the products Maria made—and asked her if she’d be interested in selling it on QVC. She was—and has been successfully selling her products there for 15 years even as her salon has become renowned.
Maria attributes her success to her ability to shoot for the moon—to think big. “Because when you fall short, it’s still big.”
Despite her success, she still struggles with not being enough … and when she does, she uses the same technique she shares with her clients: recognizing that thought and then replacing it with empowering thoughts.
In the same way she encourages her clients, she encourages herself.
Maria said she’s beauty brave because she strives. “I’m not always good at it, but I strive to take care of myself … and take care of my feelings and emotions and thoughts—good thoughts and bad thoughts. I am beauty brave because I’m mostly telling myself it’s okay and everything is working out.”
The Kim Gravel Show is a top women’s lifestyle podcast where Kim shares her message of confidence and encouragement with a side of laughter and fun. The show features inspiring, topical conversations with thought leaders, CEOs, and celebrities tailored to give listeners the insight they need to help them discover their purpose, find their confidence, and love who they are. On each episode Kim tackles the topics that women care about in a way that will make you laugh, make you think, and help you see your life in a new, more positive way.
The Kim Gravel Show is a celebration of the stories that shape us. It's about laughing together and not taking ourselves too seriously. It's about the wisdom we've gathered and the hardships we've overcome. It's about looking at the woman you see in the mirror and remembering that she is beautiful inside and out. This is a show about remembering that no matter what you’ve been through you can love who you are right now.
Y’all, life is hard, but we can do it together.
