Emptier Nest, New Chapter: Beau's Heading To College

*This transcript was auto-generated*

Kim Gravel:

Get into this episode. I just wanted to take a moment and one, say thank you. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening, watching, sharing, and believing in this podcast and what we're doing. It means so much to me that we make it, put our heart and souls into it, and then you spend your time every week listening to it. I make the show because it's my heart's desire, and I love it and for you, and I can't do it without you. So if you. Thank you for listening and if you feel like it could touch someone or if you feel led to share, please share it with others.

Kim Gravel:

And also, like, drop a comment on this episode or write a review, because when you do that, it helps us reach more and more people with this message, and it lets us make the show bigger and better every single week. So I thank you so much. Again, I love you from the bottom of my heart. It means so much to me that you spend your time listening to me. Jaw flap. Here on this show, and I appreciate it so much. So let's get to the show. We got a good one today.

Kim Gravel:

Hey, y'. All. Welcome to the Kim Gravel Show. This is your weekly dose of encouragement, hope, and hopefully a little bit of laughter. I'm Kim, of course. And this is Zac, my producer.

Zac Miller:

Hey, Kim. I'm so happy to be here. You don't. You really don't have to introduce yourself, you see. Introduce me. I just think that.

Kim Gravel:

Well, I had to think about it. I'm like, do I think. I. I don't want to assume. Right? You never assume. People know who you are. I always tell my kids. Tell people who you are and what you stand for right off the bat.

Zac Miller:

Maybe I'm Kim. I'm Kim, you're Zac, and it's just a weird.

Kim Gravel:

You don't want to be Kim.

Zac Miller:

Traitor. Maybe I do. Really? I think if you.

Kim Gravel:

God bless.

Zac Miller:

Let me derail this. Okay. If we could body switch for a day, would you do it?

Kim Gravel:

Would I be a dude for a day?

Zac Miller:

Would you be a dude for a day? Specifically this dude. Yeah, this. This dude right here.

Kim Gravel:

I would. I would be. Because I think women work 5,000 times harder than men. So, yeah, I would do it for a day. I just don't think I'd like something between my legs.

Zac Miller:

So you do it for a day off? Like you're doing it? I. I feel like what I would do, yes.

Kim Gravel:

I'm doing it for a vacation.

Zac Miller:

If I was Kim for a day, I wouldn't do it. When you were Doing a TSV. Like it depends on the day for me. Yeah, like if you were going live.

Kim Gravel:

On, on do it when I'm going to the spa. Go do it when I'm going to spot.

Zac Miller:

I would do it for a day off also. I. Yeah, it would be.

Kim Gravel:

But those will be far and few between, so you have to plan that out. Okay.

Zac Miller:

You're welcome. For me. We got to get real.

Kim Gravel:

I got to get real with you because not tomorrow, but the next day. So a day and a half from right now where I'm sitting talking to you guys, I'm dropping my son Beau off at college. And on top of that, my younger son started driving by himself on the streets alone. And I am cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. I am. This is like, this is too much, Zac. It's too much all at once. And you know I love change, but.

Zac Miller:

How do you deal with it? Like, my kids are so young. I'm terrified to even think about any of this stuff.

Kim Gravel:

No, they're too young now. I mean, you're going to blink, you're going to sneeze, you're going to toot, and it's going to be all. They're going to be there.

Zac Miller:

Okay, so what. So wait, what's going through your head right now, Kim?

Kim Gravel:

I will tell you. Here we go. Here we go. So I am prepared for Beau leaving Saturday. Okay, we're all packing up. You know, it's all hands on deck. My mom, Amy, my sister, you know, of course, Travis does nothing. So.

Kim Gravel:

And Bo does nothing. I'm trying to get it all together. See me getting comfortable. I'm settling in for the story. So, you know, we're, we've, I've got impacts. We're going to load it up on Friday night and pull out Saturday morning. I have prepared mentally for this. It's taken me all summer and I've kind of let go of the reins a little bit, give him a little bit more freedom.

Kim Gravel:

Curfew, we extended another hour. I don't hell hack him life360 him to death. I do watch, but I don't comment.

Zac Miller:

Okay, okay.

Kim Gravel:

All right. Only if he drives like over 80mph do I say slow down. But I've really kind of like weaned myself off of the helicopter. Control freak parent that I self admittedly know that I am. Travis, however, is gonna be cooked toast. Why?

Zac Miller:

Why?

Kim Gravel:

He's gonna fall apart. When we pull out of that college at 5 o' clock on Saturday, Travis is going to break down, Mark my words.

Zac Miller:

So you okay, so wait, so. So you think you like in the relationship, Kim?

Zac Miller:

Yeah. Is Travis emotional? He doesn't strike me as like an overly emotional.

Kim Gravel:

No, he's not emotional. But this is gonna get him. That's his running buddy. They're besties, right? My boys and Travis are besties, so. And Bo is like him. So I mean, it is like his mini me is taking off. And what I love about it is Travis was the same way. So, like he's feeling all the feels when he went off to college and how much he enjoyed it and how he really never went back.

Kim Gravel:

Like, Travis, I never went back after I went off to college. I mean, I went and stayed over Christmas break and a couple of summers, but like my, like three summers, I was just. I took off. Like, I was. I went to Japan. I was Miss Georgia for a summer. I mean, like, I never was home again. Like, I've never.

Kim Gravel:

After I moved out of for college, I came back to visit. I never came to live. Okay, that's going to kill Travis.

Zac Miller:

Yeah. And you think Beau's going to be like that? You think Beau is like, he's out.

Kim Gravel:

Oh, God.

Zac Miller:

He's his own man. He's doing his thing. He's living his life.

Kim Gravel:

I mean, seriously, I think we're going to. I think he's going to go to that college. He is a family man. I think he's going to get his degree, start his business, find his wife, and bye, Felicia. Done. Yeah, like he's planning on that. I mean, that's. Beau is like, that's what I'm gonna do.

Kim Gravel:

I'm like, are you worried?

Zac Miller:

Okay, wait, Are you worried about the relationship part? Are you worried about the finding the wife part?

Kim Gravel:

Like, no, he's picky.

Zac Miller:

Okay. You think he's got pretty good tastes.

Kim Gravel:

Picky. Oh.

Zac Miller:

Okay, so it's not like. It's not like he's got. He's not the guy with a bunch of girlfriends and you're like, oh my gosh, all these girls. No, these girls are.

Kim Gravel:

He's not a multi. Not my youngest one. He's not either. But if they're ever gonna have one that was a roundster, it'd be Blanton. But he's a family man too. But Bo is a one woman man. He wants to find the one and that's it.

Zac Miller:

Okay, good for him.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah. Now, not. I mean, I will be honest with you. Easy things have come his way. Easy, easy relationships have come his way. And he was in one and then he tried to go back to it. And he's like, I can't do this.

Zac Miller:

Ooh, let's make this oversharing your son's relationship in high school episode.

Kim Gravel:

I don't care. It's part of being my kid. But back to Travis. He's gonna have a hard time with it. And I will tell you, we have Blanton for two more years. But now that Blanton's driving, I mean. I mean, he was out till 10 o'. Clock.

Kim Gravel:

He went to church and he went to eat, and he goes, I'm going to target. I'm like, you're not going to target at 10 o'. Clock. Come home. So he didn't come.

Zac Miller:

What do you even do to tart? Wait, is that where they hang out? Like, is that where the kids hang out? We used to hang out. Kim, where did you hang out as a teenager? Wait, wait, stop for a second. Where did you hang out as a teenager? Like, when you and your friends. Stone mountain.

Kim Gravel:

We would circle stone. Yeah. So where we made out, that's where we hung out.

Zac Miller:

You hung out at the makeout place?

Kim Gravel:

Oh, yeah.

Zac Miller:

Wow. I feel like I'm seeing a whole new side of you, Kim.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, but this is the thing, Zac. When you were in the 80s, you didn't have phones and video games galore and all that, so all you could do is just make out and hang out.

Zac Miller:

That's true. Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

Now they got the phone, so they don't do all that.

Zac Miller:

Now you don't have to make out anymore because you got phones. We used to hang out in a parking lot. This was the, you know, early 2000.

Kim Gravel:

Yes. That's what I'm talking about.

Zac Miller:

2000S, I guess. Yeah. It was like we were just in, like, a parking lot in the middle of town. That's where we would hang out. And then when too many. And when too many teens got there, the police would show up and be like, you guys all have to leave.

Kim Gravel:

Sure. Well, I mean, what are cops for? Thank God for cops.

Zac Miller:

Thank God.

Kim Gravel:

But I will say this. Travis is going to have a hard time, so. And I'm going to. I mean, of course I'm going to cry and everything, but I'm so proud of that. And all of you parents watching right now, everybody's telling me everybody was calling in to qvc to hit me up on my social media, saying, it's gonna be tough. But I had one caller call in Wednesday night. You'll get a kick out of this, Zac. So I was telling this story, and she called Me.

Kim Gravel:

She goes, oh my gosh, you were gonna cry. You're gonna be devastated. You're gonna pull out that college, you're gonna be devastated. And she said, and then next summer when they come home, you're gonna ask them, when are you moving back? When are you going back to college?

Zac Miller:

When are you out of here?

Kim Gravel:

So I'm excited about that. I will say a little. I'm not even going to speak this out because I don't, I don't want to get my hopes up, but there's a little piece of me that I think I'm going to get 1/4 of, of my life, my life, Kim, life back.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

On Saturday. And I know that sounds a little bit selfish, and I hope it doesn't.

Zac Miller:

Well, you know, motherhood's a job, right? How many hours a week do you spend on that job? Probably a lot.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, I still have bland, so I've got that. I mean, that's another fourth I'm gonna have to track. But I, I, I, I can already, at the end of this summer, feel it. Cause he's already pulling away. So I can already making really smart decisions. It's like he went from doofus, who almost like Mr. Jose's, you know, Algebra 3 class almost tanked, okay. And tanked his GPA right there at the end of the year to this.

Kim Gravel:

Well, I've already done my summer work. And then I'm like, what? I'm like, he started. I mean, he's already maturing because Travis kept telling me, I'm like, oh my God, he's going to fail out of college if we don't stay on him by doing his work, you know, and he's like, kim, I'm telling you, it's going to click in. Everything we've poured in is going to click in.

Zac Miller:

Yep.

Kim Gravel:

And then he keeps saying, it happened to me, I was a doofus and I went to college and I did great.

Zac Miller:

Yep. Well, right? I mean, well, you weren't that much of a doofus. I mean, come on, you were Miss Georgia. You were doing that at 19.

Kim Gravel:

I was on the dean's list. Travis was the doofus.

Zac Miller:

I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about Travis. Oh, all right, okay. Sorry.

Kim Gravel:

Uh huh.

Zac Miller:

Yeah. Travis. Was I just saying I was such a doofus.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, of course. He did great in college.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

Like so. But I can already see a piece of myself coming back. I can see almost more time, more focus, more. And so the podcast today I wanted to talk about was this letting go.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

And then what next? Because I think a lot of women my age are out there, they're empty nesters and they've poured their whole lives into their children and their family and work providing for those children and that family. And now they've got all this free time. What now? What's next?

Zac Miller:

So that's a tough. That's a serious mind.

Kim Gravel:

It's kind of exciting. It's kind of exciting though. Yeah, like. Cause last night when we did our live, I saw all these women were like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Let me tell you something. If you're in the throes of raising kids, you don't ask, what do I do? You ain't got time to do. You're doing.

Kim Gravel:

But now when your kids get older and your people, you know, it's like. And you're not ready to fully go into the grandmother stage, you know, where you're ready to nestle in. Because a lot of us are. I mean, 54 now is the new 34. I mean, like, you're vibrant, you're young, you're still, you know, viable. I mean, my lord, Bethany Frankel was just on the COVID of US magazine. Have you seen this? Pull it. Oh, I'm a.

Kim Gravel:

Pull it up. Oh, that girl looks bad to the bone.

Zac Miller:

She's 54, Kim.

Kim Gravel:

She's 54 now. Look up the. Look up with magazine cover. I about flipped out when I saw this. This is the new 54. That's 54. So what I'm saying is maybe you've never looked that hot. Now's your time.

Kim Gravel:

Maybe you've never started that business. Now's your time. Maybe you've never gone back to school. Maybe you've always wanted to go back to school and get that degree you loved. Now's the time. It's actually an exciting time. I'm actually starting a new business. I know, I told you that last night.

Kim Gravel:

And you were like, what? I'm like, you're like, don't do it.

Zac Miller:

I was just like, no, Kim, you don't have time. But maybe you do have time now. Maybe with the kids leaving. Yes, you'll have time. That is exciting.

Kim Gravel:

That's what I'm saying. It is exciting. That's why I want everybody to hear me. That is because I believe this podcast that we were talking earlier and you said, Kim, what? Is because we're talking about Joe Rogan's podcast. And who else were we talking about? We were talking about, you know, everybody's podcast because we're all. I mean, we're in the podcast business, right? Yeah.

Zac Miller:

We're always talking about Joe Rogan. We're talking about. We love talking about Mel Robbins. We love talking about. Who are some of the other podcasters that we just love. I really like Diary of a CEO. Have you been listening to any Diary of a CEO stuff?

Kim Gravel:

Oh, I love him so much.

Zac Miller:

Yeah, he's.

Kim Gravel:

And I'm thinking, you know, do we reinvent this show to do whatever we want to do now that the time is going to be freed up? Do we go live more? Do we do this? But let me just say what really sparked my interest during that conversation was I think we are supposed to talk to people in the what now? Stage.

Zac Miller:

What now Stage. Yeah. Remember the people.

Kim Gravel:

Remember the baby boomers?

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

Yes. The baby boomers are like my parents, who are in their 80s and late 70s and getting older. And they are definitely at a slower pace. Not everybody, but most. You would say generally that most times when you're in your late 80s, late 70s, early 80s, you're. You're slowing down. But my Gen X, this is our heyday time. This is when our kids are graduated, hopefully in college, they've launched.

Kim Gravel:

This is the time where you've got more free time. And for many of us, if. If we've saved a little bit of money, we have more financial freedom. This is the time of reinvention. And that's what I love about this one life we get around the sun is that we're constantly reinventing ourselves. And we do have that moment where we're raising kids and building a family and all that, where it seems really mundane and that it's never going to end. But I'm experiencing now that season does end. So what now? What's next? What's next for you? You're listening to this and you're thinking, I love Kim.

Kim Gravel:

She's so crazy. Zac is so cute. They have so much fun on this podcast. What? We do want to have fun, but we also want to put out into the world something that is going to excite you, ignite you, light your fire in this next chapter of your life. Maybe you have, I don't know, put off starting that business that you've always dreamed of. Now's the time.

Zac Miller:

Yeah. Or just a hobby, right?

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, anything. Travel. Travel the world. Take the promotion, Start the business. Go back to school, Redecorate your kids bedrooms, make it your personal spa space. I'm serious. Anything you can think of right now is what's next.

Zac Miller:

How long are you going to redecorate beau's room? Like, how long are you going to wait to do that to redecorate bo's room?

Kim Gravel:

I'm probably going to wait to year two. I'm going to let it because I don't want him to be. Lord help, you know, it's like, you're gone. We're redecorating. But blanton does want beau's room. He wants to pop over to beau's room.

Zac Miller:

Oh, that's funny. Is he the better room? Does bo have the better room?

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, Bo has the better room. He has the bigger bathroom. Yeah.

Zac Miller:

Okay.

Kim Gravel:

Blanton's always had the lower room. It's time for him to step up. I mean, he is the only man in that. Young man in the house, so.

Zac Miller:

Yeah. All right, well, give him that room. You know, kick beau out to that smaller bathroom.

Kim Gravel:

Well, he wants to go to the basement. You ain't doing that. We going to keep it all on the same flow.

Zac Miller:

That's. I think every kid gets to a point when you're like, 16, and you're like, can I move to the basement? Like, I want to get out of here.

Kim Gravel:

You're not moving.

Zac Miller:

I feel like I have my own apartment. Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

Too many exit doors. No, you're not moving out the basement.

Zac Miller:

Oh, my gosh.

Kim Gravel:

But seriously, Zac, I would love to hear about. From people about what. What they think about this, because I think we don't prepare for this time.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

And this is a good time. This one says, I got. I got something really interesting to tell you. Hold on.

Zac Miller:

Okay.

Kim Gravel:

Key aspects of letting go.

Zac Miller:

Okay.

Kim Gravel:

Releasing negative emotions. Now let me talk about these negative emotions. I would say I don't have a lot of negative emotions about motherhood and all of that. I have some, trust me. Like, everybody. But even when you're talking about negative emotions, it's just the emotional drain. Letting the. The worry, the constant.

Kim Gravel:

Have you done this? Da, da, da. Don't try to. You got. You got to let that go. And that's what I'm learning, like, over the summer. I practiced that before he left because I'm like, I can't be with him 24. Seven. Seven days a week.

Kim Gravel:

Make every decision, monitor every decision. I mean, he's got to make. He got to rise and fall on his own at this point.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

Accepting the past. I've had a little bit of a hard time thinking about the mistakes I've made in motherhood. I have some regrets, and I wish I Could go back and change it. And when people tell me they don't have regrets, they're lying. So I do have some regrets. Things I wish I hadn't done or said or been. Well, yeah. I mean, I wish I hadn't been so hard on him.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

Especially during the high school days because none of it matters. So stupid. I wish he's such an independent individualist. I wish I hadn't told him, like, just bend with these people and get through it. I wish I hadn't done that. I just wish I'd have said, be. Be who you are. If they don't like it, bump it a little bit more.

Zac Miller:

Right, right. Because it's like, you got to fit in a little bit. Like, sometimes the advice is to fit in a little more than you probably should.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah. I mean, and I gave. I mean, honestly. And you do that in life. You get to a point as an adult, you're like, it's not worth it. Let's just be who we. You know, you're not always in your face who you. This is just me.

Kim Gravel:

You know, sometimes you have to bend and. But I just wish I would have not. That was tough for him to do. And I wish I'd just let him be him and then figure that out along the way. And also, I wish I would have not given him a phone as earlier as I did. I wish I would have waited till a lot later in his.

Zac Miller:

How old was he when he level.

Kim Gravel:

He got a phone at 13.

Zac Miller:

Okay.

Kim Gravel:

I wish I'd have waited till 16.

Zac Miller:

And was he on social media and doing Instagram and all that stuff?

Kim Gravel:

No, he wasn't. But it was like, you know, you. It's what the world's feeding you. It's all the garbage that is out there that the kids naturally gravitate towards. But he did get on social media, learned the hard way. And now I don't even do social media at all. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, so he's just. And if he does, it's for his little business.

Kim Gravel:

So you learn. I just wish I would have waited a little bit later to do that. And I wish. One of the biggest things I wish was I wish I would have let him fall a little bit more. I swoop in a little too much. I mean, he did have some heartaches and it was hard for me to sit and watch it, but I. But I wish I would have done it a little, let him fall a little bit more.

Zac Miller:

Wait, what would that have looked like? Because you're so, like, you can. You're there for him. Right. You still want to be there for him.

Kim Gravel:

Right? Right. But I was there for him and Travis was there for him. But we played that God role in his life to take care of him. I wish I would have let him fallen and figured out it's between him and God. Not mom, me and God, or Dad, me and God. And I think I got in God's way a lot in those circumstances.

Zac Miller:

Interesting, Kim. I like that framing, like, gotten God's way. Like God was trying to give him some challenges, and you were like, let me help you with those challenges.

Kim Gravel:

Correct.

Zac Miller:

Whoa.

Kim Gravel:

But the great thing about it, one thing I don't regret, is being painfully, transparently raw and real with him. I mean, I will not talk about the discussions that him and I have had, but it's. I mean, anything you can think of. Yeah, he feels free to talk to me and Travis about. We've had hours of conversations about sex, hours of conversations about drinking and drugs. Everything emotional, how somebody is what they said. I mean, he does. That's one thing I do not regret is the total rawness of our conversations.

Kim Gravel:

There was nothing hidden.

Zac Miller:

How do you get.

Kim Gravel:

If it was hidden. Wait a minute. If it. If it was hidden, I found out about it and we talked about it. I'm sure I don't know everything, but you know what I'm saying? Like, when I did find out about crazy things, we talked about it openly.

Zac Miller:

Like, crazy things that happened to Hammer happened to his friends or at the school. Like, how would this conversation happen? Because I feel like talking to teenagers is like talking to a brick wall.

Kim Gravel:

It is. But they got to trust you. They got to open up. They got to. And I course corrected that judgment. Judgment, Judy. Motherhood thing early. I realized, ooh, if I do this, he ain't going to talk to me.

Zac Miller:

Right.

Kim Gravel:

And he going to talk to somebody. So I rather him talk to me about it than some nut job on the Internet.

Zac Miller:

Your mom said something really smart about this. I think you learned this from your mom, right? She said something that stuck with me ever since she said it on the show when she was on, you know, whenever it was the first time she was on. So years ago, she said kids are gonna trust whoever tells them the truth first. Something like that.

Kim Gravel:

Yes.

Zac Miller:

And so, like, if you're feeding them a line of bull, they're not gonna trust. They're just. They're gonna go somewhere else. They know that. They know you're not telling them the truth, so you gotta tell them the real deal.

Kim Gravel:

You want a shelter. You don't want to. You want to protect, you don't want to shelter.

Zac Miller:

Okay.

Kim Gravel:

It's a big bad world out there, y', all, and it's a big bad people coming after your little old kids, and they got to learn how to say, yeah, no, thank you.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

So, you know, releasing those emotions, accepting the past. This is a hard one for me. I wrote this down. Releasing control.

Zac Miller:

What? Kim, you a control for? Come on.

Kim Gravel:

No, we're gonna leave that right there.

Zac Miller:

No way.

Kim Gravel:

I need help in that area. I'm really seeking some counseling. I'm talking to Karen about it. Okay. Next we're moving on and focusing on the present. I will tell you, I started doing that a lot this summer. Letting go is being in the present. And I've learned that because we are not promised tomorrow, so we need to live today.

Kim Gravel:

And so, like, it was weird because last night I came home, I had a show at a show till 10, 11 o'. Clock. And of course, Blanton's not asleep. He's got to get up at 6 o' clock and drive an hour to school. But so he was in there. I heard his phone going, and so I went in, and he was supposed to put his phone in the laundry room 10. He did not. So I went in to get his phone and.

Kim Gravel:

And I kissed on him, and I talked to him. I said, oh, God, you drove to church. You got high. Oh, my God. So cool. Because I'm so free. That's what Blanton said. I'm so free.

Kim Gravel:

And I didn't think about it, and I kissed him, and we said a little pray. So let me pray for you. I'm so glad you drove so safe. I took his phone and I walked by and I just went to my bedroom, Travis already snoring. And I went into my bedroom, and I shut the door, and my phone goes ding. And it was Bo. And he goes, love you, mom. He was like, you didn't come in and say goodbye to me and kiss me, you know, it was like one of those things.

Kim Gravel:

And I was so tired, and I thought, nope, this is going to be my last, one of my last nights. I'm going to be able to kiss him good night for a long time. So I walked in there, I said, babe, I thought you were asleep. That's why I didn't come in. He goes, no, I'm not. I was just sitting here. And so we talked for about 10 minutes. And he was just telling me how excited he was.

Kim Gravel:

And I thought to myself, that's living in the present, seeing those open opportunities in life and taking them. And I'll tell you, as mothers and as women of a certain age that are just so go, go, go. Busy, busy, busy. Letting go is letting go of what we got to do and be where we're at.

Zac Miller:

And it's the small things. Like, I love that that story is just. That's such a small thing. But that's such an important. Like, you might remember that for the rest of your life.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, I know. Why would he text me that? I was walking by his room and I had said goodnight and he heard me in there with Lant and doing all that. And I walked by and I didn't stop by and say it. And so he went, love you, Mom. He was saying to me, are you not gonna come kiss me goodnight? He's 18. He's leaving two days from now, a day and a half from now. And he said. And he said to me, got two more sleeps.

Zac Miller:

Yeah, that's really cool.

Kim Gravel:

You always say that.

Zac Miller:

I'm like, five more sleeps before Christmas.

Kim Gravel:

Five more sleeps before Christmas.

Zac Miller:

Yeah. That's like the thing you say to a little kid. It reminds me of like a little kid who. It's like, you know, so I'm in a totally stage in three days. They're pushing you away, but they're also, once they get away, they start crying and want you to come to them. Right. It's like, yeah, you, you know, he's. I'm sure it's like such a complicated set of emotions that he's feeling too.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah. But it's like I looked at my phone, I thought, no, I'm going back in there and I'm going to sit with him, even if it's 30 minutes. I was exhausted.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

And then the last thing before we wrap up is, is this creating space for growth. And the. That's where a lot of us are at in this empty nester, letting go and what's next phase. We have to. For so long, our space has been so full with everybody else, and now we have, by just circumstances, by actual, just. It is what it is. The kids are gone. There's this space of creating, you know, an opportunity for growth in our lives and what are we going to do with it?

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

So people are listening right now, Zac, and women in particular, and they're saying, I don't know what to do with this empty nest. What's next? Third chapter of my life. But it's exciting to think about. And that's what I want the podcast to be about. The what's next for you, for me, for all of us in this stage of life, which can be a little uncertain and scary, but really, really can be exciting.

Zac Miller:

And I think, can I just chime in and say, like, don't overthink it. Right. That's if I was gonna say.

Kim Gravel:

Cause agreed.

Zac Miller:

When we were talking about the podcast, too, I was like, kim, I have to start underthinking this. Like, underthinking. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I don't want to overthink. I want to underthink. And I think that's true of this, this stage too. Right? Like, if you overthink it, you do what I do, and then you're like, I don't even know what I want anymore. Like, you know, I think parenthood can make you feel like you don't even know yourself anymore.

Zac Miller:

Right. I feel that. I feel that.

Kim Gravel:

Amen. And it's kind of true. It's kind of really the truth. And then they leave, and you're like, who am I? What are we? What's our relationship? Like? Why are we. You know what I'm saying? Because the whole. Your whole life is your kids. But I will tell you this. I will tell you this.

Kim Gravel:

This. I know for sure that my sons have watched Travis and I really do what we love and what we're called to do, coupled with a lot of responsibility. Even when we weren't doing what we love to do for a living, our kids have seen us not just work hard, but love the work, the hard work that we're doing. And Amy Goins, my bff, my very best friend, who is single and ready to mingle, who has absolutely no children, gave the best parenting advice I've ever heard in my entire life. She says, and I'm actually going to call her to make sure she says this right, because it's so good. I don't want to screw it up. Hold the line.

Zac Miller:

Hold the line. Holding.

Kim Gravel:

Hello? Hey, she answered. Amy, I'm on the pod and I want to make sure I say this correctly. Okay? Your amazing, insightful, brilliant, divine parenting advice that you always tell me and you tell everybody. Okay. Just say the statement. Say it slow. Okay. 

Amy Goins:

Parenting is more about who you are than what you say and do.

Kim Gravel:

Say it one more time for the cheap seats. 

Amy Goins:

Parenting is more about who you are than what you say and do. 

Kim Gravel:

Okay? Love you. Call you later. Goodbye.

Zac Miller:

Bye. Me.

Kim Gravel:

Isn't that good?

Zac Miller:

That's a thousand percent true.

Kim Gravel:

So. So I am confident Will Bo make mistakes? Absolutely. Will Blanton make mistakes? Yeah. But I am who I am because of my parents and who they were, not because of what they said and did. It was who they were as people. Because the thing about it is, we fake a lot of our lives. Remember when I told you I was so regretful that I didn't just tell Bo to go in there and don't compromise and don't. Don't fit in.

Kim Gravel:

Just be you. I regret that because at the end of the day, that's really what makes us special. It's so funny how we say, be unique. You're one of a kind, and then we say, but fit in. Be just like all the world. It's so weird. And honestly, I'm the most loudest, proudest individual, unique person out there. So for me to even give that little bit of piece of advice was just really out of character for me.

Kim Gravel:

So I'm hoping, and I'm praying that, and I believe that our kids are really who we are. It's more about who we are and not what we say and do. So let your kids, even your adult kids, even your grandkids, see you be truly who you were created to be and do what you were created to do, and they'll do the same. And I'm sitting here watching it unfold right in front of my eyes. So Amy is right again. Amy's the smartest one in the room. She's not even here.

Zac Miller:

Oh, we love Amy so much. I do you think? Okay, so what percentage then, Kim, if you were going to break it down, what percentage are you? Excited, sad, and. Okay, is there a third one?

Kim Gravel:

And I'm 87%. I'm 85% excited.

Zac Miller:

Okay.

Kim Gravel:

Because you have to understand, I'm that girl, right? I have probably spent $5,622,000 on his dorm room stuff. He does not care. Like, it is such a shame. It is such a waste.

Zac Miller:

It's gonna be beautifully. Can you do it before and after? No, Kim, you gotta do it before and after of the dorm room.

Kim Gravel:

Of course.

Zac Miller:

Okay. Okay, good. Thank you.

Kim Gravel:

So it's. It's so lost on him. It is. It is really. I'm gonna have to really question God's judgment when he did not give me a daughter. I mean, seriously, like, what a waste.

Zac Miller:

Kim, do you want one of mine? I got two. You wanna take one? Cause you could just start right over.

Kim Gravel:

I'm adopting. I'm adopting the rug. I've got the desk chair. I've got a faux Plant. I mean, seriously. I was like, this is ridonkulous.

Zac Miller:

You have a faux plant. Wait, and you bought it all?

Kim Gravel:

How far? He even went as far.

Zac Miller:

How far is he going?

Kim Gravel:

He even went as far as say. He's gone like two and a half hours. I said, I even went as far as to say, can you ask your roommate if I could decorate his side too? I'm more than willing to do it.

Zac Miller:

That is hilarious.

Kim Gravel:

That's aesthetic. He's like, you know, he said. He goes, I'm not doing that, Mom. I'm not. I said, well, that's okay. Cause I'm gonna ask him when I get there.

Zac Miller:

Oh, my gosh.

Kim Gravel:

And so what? So it's even bad is that I have goody bags. Cause I know a couple of the girls on the volleyball team and the soccer team there. I have goodie bags for all the girls in the girls dorms. But I was like, this is. This is weird, Mom. I'm like, no, this is what I love to do. The parent, his roommate's mom, goody bag. His friend Easton that he met at orientation.

Kim Gravel:

His mom, who I've been texting incessantly. Goodie bag. Her sister, goodie bag.

Zac Miller:

Okay, break it down. Break it down. What do you put in. What do you put in the college goodie bag?

Kim Gravel:

You know, everything. Cosmetics, you know me, jewelry, everything, I mean, is stacked for bear. But I'm going to tell you this. So to answer that question, I'm 85% excited. A, I'm 85 excited because he's excited. And B, you know, he's on the tennis team, so we're gonna be going to matches. I feel like I'm gonna be very involved because I told you that my. My.

Kim Gravel:

A guy I graduated high school with, David, he is like one of the big wigs at the school. So I feel like, you know what? I'm gonna be there anyway. And you know, it's Amy's. It's Amy's Alma material.

Zac Miller:

I feel like I'm full circle now, Kim. And now we're getting to the truth. Now you're like, oh, yeah, I'm not gonna track him as much. He's gone. He's out of the. And you're like, I'm gonna be very involved.

Kim Gravel:

That's the thing.

Zac Miller:

This is a true story.

Kim Gravel:

Please. God, I hope Bo doesn't listen to this. Oh, so this is true. This is so Travis and I to the T. And so, you know, like, we're. We're probably going to be really involved.

Zac Miller:

But I Think you.

Kim Gravel:

Travis, of course. You know, Travis played college, you know, tennis at Barry's. Like.

Zac Miller:

Yeah, he was almost a pro.

Kim Gravel:

Right?

Zac Miller:

Like he went. He almost went pro.

Kim Gravel:

He was on the pro circuit for a long time. And now he coaches at local high school. Yeah, but I don't think Bo knows this, but I think the college coach there is going to ask him to help coach the team at college. He's going to have a stroke. Don't tell him I said that. So. So back to the 85%. We're very excited for him.

Kim Gravel:

Now the rest of it is I have no 10% of it. I have nobody to nag anymore because Bo is that kind of kid that the tougher and the more torturous it was, the better off. He liked it. So him and I would go at it and he loved it. You know, saying like he was a. He was a debater, he was a challenger.

Zac Miller:

Right. He would fight. I'm gonna miss that in a way.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, I'm gonna miss that. I don't like it when Travis does it, but I did like it when it's not like that. No, no. Blanton's more like me. He's like, okay, let's go with it. You know, it's be fun. He's more. He lets things roll off his back in 5% of it.

Kim Gravel:

So we're. We're up to 95. Because 10%. I'm gonna miss that 5% of it.

Zac Miller:

I'm gonna be sad because even if you're involved, he's.

Kim Gravel:

But I gotta tell you, I'm ready for what's next. Yeah, I'm ready. And I pray he gets a good girlfriend. And I like her a lot and she likes us. Because if that happens and then. No, think about it. And then Zac, I get a daughter in law.

Zac Miller:

Oh, you're gonna go. That's it. Can you imagine? Oh my God, Kim.

Kim Gravel:

What if I get a granddaughter?

Zac Miller:

We're have to do an entire podcast about wedding planning. Like not like a show, a full. Another entire podcast.

Kim Gravel:

I know we just skip over the wedding part because she's going to be dedicated to her mom or whatever, but if I get a granddaughter.

Zac Miller:

Oh, it's over. That would be.

Kim Gravel:

None of them will exist. Just saying. Do you think she's going to give a rip about them? No.

Zac Miller:

Oh my gosh.

Kim Gravel:

She going to want to go to Kiki do you love me on Friday?

Zac Miller:

Oh my gosh. Grandma Kiki.

Kim Gravel:

So, hey guys, I'm excited about what's next. Look at me. I'm already projecting my granddaughter loving me and calling me Kiki. All is well. So let's get on this what next train together. Let's get on the what next train together. Let's do this thing.

Zac Miller:

Yes. Is there some last piece of advice? Like what, what is the thing that you go back to when you think about this moment and you're feeling that the low part of it and you're feeling the low, the, the 5%, the sadness? What do you go back to? Like what, what takes. What pulls you out of that and pulls you up and let's leave the audience with that.

Kim Gravel:

Well, I'm going to go back to the last step. I just said it's, it's. This is not the letting go. You're going to feel the feels and do it. But what is going to fill that hole in your heart is that growth of what's next. So you, you can look back, you can be in the present, but you've always got to keep your eye on what's next. And you know what? Here at the Kim Gravel show, we can help you figure that out.

Zac Miller:

Let's do it. Come back next. Come back next week to see what's.

Kim Gravel:

Next week to find out what's next.

Zac Miller:

There you go.

Kim Gravel:

Love y'.

Zac Miller:

All.

Kim Gravel:

Bye, y'.

Zac Miller:

All.

Kim Gravel:

Zac Miller is the Executive Producer of the Kim Gravel Show. His production company is Uncommon Audio. Our Producer is Kathleen Grant, the Brunette Exec. Production help from Emily Bredin and Sara Noto. Our cover art is designed by Sanaz Huber at Memarian Creative. Our show is edited by Mike Kligerman. Our guest intros are performed by Roxy Reese. Our guest booking is done by Central Talent Booking. Our ads are furnished by True Native Media. And y'all, I want to give a big huge thank you to the entire team at QVC+ and a special thank you to our audience for making this community so strong. If you are still listening then you must have liked a few episodes along the way. So tell somebody about it. Tell somebody about this show and join our mailing list at kimgravelshow.com. I cannot do this show without you and so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. I hope you gain a little bit of encouragement, light and love love from watching and listening to The Kim Gravel Show. I love you all so much. Till next time. Bye.